Hi all - when I was first old enough to gamble, I messed up big time - I had about £3k in savings and completely lost it all over about a year.
Now, i've basically done the same again. I've always gambled, I never stopped, but I thought I had it under control.
I had a traumatic thing happen (bereavement) just before Christmas, and it's affected more than I let on.
This sounds stupid, but when i'm gambling I get into a "zone". A "zone" where it "doesn't matter". Then afterwards, now, I feel like absolute s**t. The only person I told was my best mate, and I promised them that I'd never do it again, and I have - I've told them again, and now i've lost them. I haven't got anyone else I can tell, so I find myself here.
I'm not in debt, I have never gone that far, but i've essentially left myself penniless for the next month.
I've self excluded from all the sites I was using, I rarely go to a casino and I never actually go into a Bookies. How do I get control? How do I start building a life?
I hate that I've lost money, the money I actually worked hard to save, but more than that, I hate that I've lost my best mate.
When I'm gambling, I don't think about the consequences - but at the same time, I don't enjoy it. I don't get excited when I win, and I don't get upset when I lose - but afterwards, I get a massive feeling of dread.
I know, I absolutely know I can stop gambling - but the damage is already done.
That's it though, I see them as being the best person for me - the only person that gets me through everything.
They were there for me when I needed them after my bereavement, and they're the only person I want to see - and now I've lost that as well. All because I can't control my ******* gambling.
Hi AnonDK,
Welcome to the forum, and thanks for your post. Also sorry to learn about your bereavement, which I think made you gamble more. It seems like you’re using gambling as an escapism; escaping from the emotional pain due to your loss.
It’s a good thing that you’ve decided to do something about your gambling problem now, as not taking measures to control or stop can make you lose control easily, and therefore, may even hit rock bottom. Since you said you’re not in debt at the moment, I’ll encourage you to keep your finances that way.
Gamcare is ready to help and support you to overcome your gambling problem by advising you on strategies to put in place to enable you do that. It’s important however, that you stick to the advice that we offer, so you’ll be able to achieve your aim.
It seems that you’re now aware of the kind of support that you do get from fellow chat members as well due to the responses to your post. Most people find the chatroom advice encouraging and useful, and I hope you’ll also find it same.
I suggest that you contact our free phone Helpline on: 0808 8020 133, and speak to an adviser for further help and support. An adviser can refer you to 12 sessions of free counselling if you think that would help you to stop gambling. Our lines are open every day from 8.00am to midnight.
It’s good that you’ve self-excluded from all the sites you were using to gamble before but, if you get desperate, and the urge to gamble becomes overwhelming, it’s likely that you’ll search the net for new site to gamble from. Thus to prevent that happening to you, I advise that you install one of our recommended internet blocking software, which will stop you from accessing gambling sites. The software are:- Gamblock, Betfilter, and Net Nanny. Please read about all of them first, and then install the one that you think would provide you with the maximum benefit or, most suitable to your needs.
Try and make efforts to replace your gambling time with other activities/ hobbies to distract you from gambling. Remember we are at your service, so don’t hesitate to contact us in case you need further help and support, and pls. keep posting.
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