Lost everything :(

It is definitely something to praise, you are trying to over come a huge hurdle, and some people should stay in the forum that is there specifically for them !

Stay strong 🙂

Seems like a different planet type of situation, then. A conclusion that's been reached before. The non gamblers don't understand and nor should they, otherwise boundaries get stretched to breaking point and trampled over - and so do the non gamblers. The understanding comes from fellow addicts. Meetings really do make a difference.

You've made the choice now to seek recovery, all credit to you for it. But the flip side to the same coin, if you're not responsible for the choices you made whilst gambling, then who exactly Is?

There's a difference between blame, which is negative, and taking responsibility for your actions, so as to move forward. This conversation shouldn't degenerate into blame. Keep on with seeking recovery, it's action that changes things, do everything that it takes, barriers, meetings, counselling. Our lives are a whole lot better for it.

CW

I understood it should be praised but also am slowly starting to understand the other side of the sorry I've just been reading on the other forum and it fills in some holes for me, where I was moody randomly, where I was quiet these are all things I thought I could pass off as being in a relationship, where as the other half, once told connects all the lines and sees all connected events whether good or bad within this time as bad, I feel like this has been such an eye opening night, and welcome any other comments, any insight from either half of the side will be appreciated 🙂

Wow how rude. CW is a great contributer here. Perhaps if you took as much time has she has to fix her family you would understand where she is coming from.

I'm sorry if my comment caused insult as such? I actually posted my comment before CW replied was this too me or? I appreciate all comments from both halfs, any help I get to try understand a friend/family approach or and actual gamblers approach will help 🙂 no need too argue, we are all here for a good reason and an only reason, to help people or ourselves 🙂

Sorry, but I have seen her pop up here a few times, having her input, she can come across as rude and aggressive, this is not a good thing for new members to experience it is that sort of reaction that could put them off, the gamblers have come on here for support not for people to come on having a go so please don't tell me I am rude.. WE are more than aware of the harm we have done to family, friends and loved ones, have you actually looked into the condition of addiction, where it is an adjustment in the brain to which the person has no control over, you seem to have the opinion we all ended up here because we were having a jolly

Sorry Glenn !

And after CW's comment I have really took so much advice from that, recovery is the way and the only way too prove it, sometimes it's easy for us too blame, I hope I haven't came across as blaming, I accept full responsibility and am just looking for guidance, what I have found with myself is it's easy too brush some aspects of addiction onto someone else? Too make it easier? The moods etc? Has anyone else found that?

I'm just here to make friends from a community of regular people I can speak too heather CW, you have both been more than helpful tonight 🙂 more than you know, these are clearly two parts of an argument I needed to hear though, and I think we can all learn from each other 🙂

We have fights with our loved ones and friends all the time, I understand my side and am slightly starting to understand the other side, heather you are kinda in exactly the same situation so I understand on your pet so much and CW you relate to my partner completely so it's nice too hear your side 🙂

Heather 67 wrote:

Sorry, but I have seen her pop up here a few times, having her input, she can come across as rude and aggressive, this is not a good thing for new members to experience it is that sort of reaction that could put them off, the gamblers have come on here for support not for people to come on having a go so please don't tell me I am rude.. WE are more than aware of the harm we have done to family, friends and loved ones, have you actually looked into the condition of addiction, where it is an adjustment in the brain to which the person has no control over, you seem to have the opinion we all ended up here because we were
having a jolly

Thanks Heather. I stand corrected. I will take a look into addiction

Glenn good attitude. Keep an openmind you will go far

Hi, Glenn,

You haven't been rude and I don't intend to be either, so hopefully no offence has been taken either way. If I were a bit younger, I'd say it's cool but I'm not.

re blame, it's a tool that promotes the addiction. As an example, I'm NOT saying this is you, but the thinking goes something along the lines of, if it's her fault for upsetting you or the boss's fault for the way he treats you etc etc then none of it is anything of your making and of course you deserve a treat as compensation for what you have to put up with. In other words, blame rationalises and justifies the gambling and if you read round the forum, you do see blame cropping up, probably more on the other side.

Keep on as you are, wish you well.

CW

I apologise I didn't mean to get upset, but I don't say it without backing, my daughter is a trainee counsellor, she has gone through with me in great depth the effect of any addiction on the brain, this is why all addicts have to 'retrain' their brains so not to thrive on there addiction, this I feel is where the lack of understanding is between the addicting and the victims in the situation

This is exactly why I came on here, mostly because I know I needed too and I have a problem, but secondly because I want too understand my other halfs side, what the signs are, maybe things I missed but they seen, signs of when I should've spoke too them! Thank you all 🙂