Nite Glenn, maybe give the chat a go tomorrow can be quite useful 🙂
Night, and tonight and has been so helpful so definitely will! I haven't been sleeping lately and at the age of 21 it kinda worries me, well TBH when I lose my money most months I hide that I can't sleep, I pass it off as work, has anyone else done this?
Glenn
I am a parent of a gambler who is a young person like you. CW and I are not the gamblers but in helping our family members and partners with recovery we have had had a great insight into the problem and through coming on to gamcare have probably learnt a few tricks of the trade in order to help and offer support to people on here, gamblers or family members, whichever forum it might be. There is a lot that we probably encourage people to talk to the professional counsellors on here ie. counselling, financial advice etc. and that is what I would advise you to do - pick up the phone and talk to them.
Make a list of what you should do and tick off as you go:
Put the past behind you and make today Day 1 of not gambling - count the days and tick them off - make a small target of 10 then increase it to 20 etc and if you read some on here they have reached 365 this week - inspiring posts!
Ring Gam care for advice on: emotional, counselling, self excluding from bookies, financial advice on managing your debts
When you have done all this maybe a good idea to tell your family and perhaps ask them to control your finances for you. This does help - I know it sounds like a pain but it really is a deterrent to you gambling and those debts will spiral out of control if the spending is not curbed asap.
You are doing well to admit the problem and coming on here is good so keep posting and good luck.
PS In our case most of the gambling was done under the influence of alcohol - so not saying don't go for a pint but just be aware!
How are you today?
Hi Glenn and welcome.
As has been mentioned previously it is impossible for non-CG's to understand the addiction right away. You could help them by talking to them about it. I did this and it has defiantely helped. First off I was open and honest friends and loved ones and explained what I was thinking in the midst of a gambling binge. I tried to explain my feelings before and after winning/losing money and my reasons for doing it. Although they still don't fully understand they at least have an idea of what was/is going on in the mind of a CG.
In terms of abstaining from a bet and getting into recovery you could a few things; (1) hand over financial control to a family member and carry only the necessary cash for the day, (2) self-exclude from all the bookies and online site you used, (3) report your debit card stolen and get a friend to scratch off the 3 digits on the back of the new card (so you can't use it online), (4) talk to your family and/or friends about it, (5) Attend counselling and/or GA (Gamblers Anonymous)
As for your girlfirend all I can say at the moment actions will speak louder than words. She's heard the promises to quit before so saying it again won't make a difference to her. Instead show her what you are doing to change and communication will soon come. There is no guarantee this will lead to a reconciliation but the chances are 100% better if you stop gambling and she can she the change in you. If you continue to gamble the chances are basically 0%.
Referring to point (5) above about counselling and/or GA. I have found GA to be the cornerstone in my recovery. It helps me with all aspects of my life, not just my addiction. My advice is to find a meeting and get there as soon as possible, it just may well be the best decision you will ever make.
All the best
Heather 67 wrote:
Sorry, but I have seen her pop up here a few times, having her input, she can come across as rude and aggressive, this is not a good thing for new members to experience it is that sort of reaction that could put them off, the gamblers have come on here for support not for people to come on having a go so please don't tell me I am rude.. WE are more than aware of the harm we have done to family, friends and loved ones, have you actually looked into the condition of addiction, where it is an adjustment in the brain to which the person has no control over, you seem to have the opinion we all ended up here because we were having a jolly
Here, here.
Glen, haven't read through all of these comment, but I am 20 mate, any Thought I was completely on My own Age Wise with this burden mate. I did around 18K, and a gentleman said to Me on here when I relapsed which has really sunk in, and Hope it does to You to, that we being Young have the cahnce to completely spin this around on ourselves and move on from it because of our Age. Everyone of any Age can do it, but we are young and can move on. When our mates are getting there new cars, we will be steps behind!
Keep Up Your good streak of not gambling and get Your Mrs. back lad! Go round Her House with some flowers and tell her You Love Her!
Best of Luck Brother.
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