My Journey

If you are really struggling with gambling related debts I would suggest an IVA as opposed to a dmp as the iva will allow you to write a bulk of the debt off and consolidate your monthly payment into a far smaller amount

Im about 3 ½ years into my iva and wrote 11K down to about 4 it was arguably the best thing I ever did because then there was literally no avenue to spend or lose more than I could afford too some of the early months were tough and I remember struggling to pull 2 quid together for a cup of coffee at one stage

now Im on my way to the finish line things are far better ,I now fully understand the danger of losing more than I can afford and im not sure that’s something I would of learnt had I kept on shifting the debts about

It also taught me credit is almost as big a con as gambling ……..all your doing is spending money your future self will eventually have to pay back with interest ( and you’ll probably end up resenting the purchase anyway )

Hi Adam,

Glad you are powering on gamble free. 37 days now wow they soon add up don’t they. Also it sounds like your making good headway with your debts, paying off £1000 especially this time of year with Christmas etc is some good going. Just make sure your not putting to much pressure on yourself. I know you have seeked help from Stepchange, so don’t know the arrangement or advice they have given you. But that debt isn’t going to get bigger (unless there is interest) if you are not gambling. Life goes on and that gambling debt, will be paid in time so just make sure it’s manageable and isn’t to overbearing, if it doesn’t need to be.

Glad counselling is going well and hope you are really getting something from it. I always feel really positive after my session and that’s because I talk about my life and not only the gambling part of it or what it has done. It’s because we understand things better or have a better out look on a situation or problem that has happened and what I have come to realise is that it’s just life and everyday problems. If I had an argument with my wife, was tired, fed up of having this big secret debt hanging over me, I would escape to a fobt machine on 20p roulette. The thrill it would give me was unbelievable, but from an outside perspective the consequences was much worse as I would only get in more debt, take time off work, miss out on income, feel sluggish/ moody (with my wife/ family) and all the self loathing. But that continuous bubble I was in was on repeat. But now when I’m stressed or worried I speak to my wife. Yes it’s not always and sometimes I say I’m fine when I’m not, but I’m not gambling and that is something I always need to make and conscious effort on as well as trying to be as open/ honest as possible. Not to go off on a tangent or just about me, I’m just trying to say you feeling down or worried or whatever negative emotion is completely normal and that is the normal life of non cg’s. Everyone has problems but it’s how you deal with it. I’m just starting to learn and will never master it, it’s a life long journey we are all different but just talk and surrender to the feelings and gambling is never the answer, you’ve got this.

One last thing at my GA meeting last week when I introduce myself, I always say my last date gambled which others do and one lad there hasn’t gambled for five years, but he always says since his last meeting and I asked why the last meeting and not the date. He replied that even though I am much further down the line in days of being gamble free and knowledge. That I am still only one day away from placing a bet, like any of us are. So one day at a time as they say in GA and makes so much sense.

Anyway glad you had a nice Christmas with your family and new baby girl.

All the best and keep in touch

OAU

Hi Nipped,

Been thinking about your post as I’m also in debt due to gambling racked up on several credit cards. This has all been consiltated now and a repayment plan has been made to repay all £15,000. Whilst I’m glad the IVA has worked for you, I wouldn’t suggest advising people to also go down that route if not professionally qualified to do so. Everyone’s situation and circumstances are different and even though it’s not always easy to pay back the debt, we do have to take some accountability but speaking to helplines like stepchange or other charity’s can advise on the best possible plan of action to suit the individual and there finances. I completely agree with you in regards to credit being a big con. Before I got sucked in to the world of gambling I never lent and what money I had in my pocket/ bank once it had gone it had gone. But being a gambling addict and having access to credit it then became a recipe for disaster. The only other thing is that an IVA massively affects is your credit score which can be good to stop you having access to it if you are at risk of taking out more credit to gamble, but it can stop people who are trying to get a mortgage and sadly the majority of people do need credit for that.

Take care.

OAU

nipped wrote:

If you are really struggling with gambling related debts I would suggest an IVA as opposed to a dmp as the iva will allow you to write a bulk of the debt off and consolidate your monthly payment into a far smaller amount

Im about 3 ½ years into my iva and wrote 11K down to about 4 it was arguably the best thing I ever did because then there was literally no avenue to spend or lose more than I could afford too some of the early months were tough and I remember struggling to pull 2 quid together for a cup of coffee at one stage

now Im on my way to the finish line things are far better ,I now fully understand the danger of losing more than I can afford and im not sure that’s something I would of learnt had I kept on shifting the debts about

It also taught me credit is almost as big a con as gambling ……..all your doing is spending money your future self will eventually have to pay back with interest ( and you’ll probably end up resenting the purchase anyway )

Morning All

Thanks for your kind advice, ive chosen not use stepchange for the time being. I’m not in arrears with any payments, paid my payday loans at high interest and will continue as I am for the time being. Have sat and spoken about my finances with the other half and we both agreed for the possible detrimental effect on my credit score to refrain from taking any action for the time being. I earn a good wage and will chopping away at my loans whilst supporting her on Maternity leave.

Up to 46 days today and can’t believe I’ve got this far to be honest. Seems like a lifetime ago that I was this other person with all that worry of where the next win or where the next bet was coming from.

Had my regular Monday evening session with the Gamcare counsellor and the last couple of weeks really feel I’ve got to the root of a few problems.

Things I should’ve addressed as they’ve happened in life, instead gambling has been my escape or at least I thought it was.

Thinking a lot more about things now, is this the right thing to do? Can I afford this? How will this affect me? And not just gambling, with anything, so my mindset is definitely on the change.

Even after such a short space of time if anyone is struggling with gambling please just talk to someone, if you want to that is. I realise there was only me who could make that change but hand on heart it is the best thing getting it out in the open. Yes it’s hard, the shame, the guilt, the debt, but they are all things that will gradually get better.

Speak again soon.

Adam

Day 49 GF! That’s 7 weeks! 7 weeks!

Here’s to another 7!

Adam.

How you doing Adam?

Onwardsandupwards wrote:

How you doing Adam?

Hi Onwards!

Thanks for stopping by, I came on to write a few bits as I haven't in a while and was nice to see you had posted!

Overall I'm doing ok thanks, I'm still GF which is the main! Lots of ups and downs from when I initially confessed to everything but looking back through my thread it already seems a lifetime ago really, time has flown by.

I had my initial assesment with the counsellor and then six sessions up to now, spaced out to two weeks at a time now. They've really helped getting to the root of why I gambled, I think I've a few things in my life that have happened that I should of addressed at the time and didn't, subsequently I've used gambling to mask over those things. However I've been honest with myself about everything and continue to make progress every day.

My family life is better, I'm more in touch with everything and everyone and I'm sure those people around me would say exactly the same. Had a hard time recenlty with the illness and passing of my Grandad but instead of using gambling like I would of done I've just let me emotions and feelings run their course instead of suppressing them and feel much better for it.

I feel like I'm breaking little barriers all of the time with the gambling and I'm learning to look at my gambling admission in more of positive light instead of this massive negative thing that was in my life. I still feel guilty sometimes with money being tight while my finances straighten up and my partner being on maternity leave, but we plan every month now,I take pack up to work, I give what money I can to my partner and just survive on my petrol money for the month. Just making these little changes collectively end up as one big change.

Overall I feel like I've come a long way to this point but just keep going one day at a time, I'm learning to forgive myself and have a much more positive feel about life in general.

How are you getting on?

Speak Soon....Adam

Hi Adam,
I back-read through your post a bit. I'm happy for you that you're past 7 weeks now. Glad to see you're being able pay your debt as well. What are you projecting? Like how many months roughly paying it all? I just need encouragement at the moment to conquer this anxiety. Struggling to juggle my debt and my bills. I like your positivity as well mate, cheers for that!

Morning

So today marks my move into triple figures...100days gamble free!

Always looking forward now instead of what was or could have been. Still having my counselling on Monday although haven’t been in three weeks due to family commitments but back there this coming Monday.

If anyone is struggling with it my biggest piece of advice would be to talk, get it out in the open what the problem is and how its affecting you.

I look back and on that Monday when I spent £160 that I’d won over the weekend, that was the best £160 I’ve ever spent because it was my breaking point.

I don’t like to give myself much credit on things, but today I do feel proud that I’ve done this for myself and I see my life different to what I used to.

If anyone is thinking of stopping gambling or admitting to a problem, then do it! Doesn’t matter how it comes out, who you tell, where you tell them... just do it and then work at it, it’s tough, really tough BUT it does get easier.

We’ll always be gamblers but that doesn’t mean we have to.

Thanks for reading and commenting anyone that has, your words have really helped.

Take care.

Adam

Well done Adam, great story. I enjoyed reading it. So brave telling others. Well done

Thank you Oneofyou for your kind words.

Adam

Thought I’d check in as I hadn’t in a while...Up to day 161 GF and it genuinely seems like a lifetime ago that I was that person. I’ve done a full set of sessions with the Gamcare counsellor and couldn’t recommend them highly enough for anyone wanting to stop. Learnt so much about myself in the sessions, talked about stuff that I had buried away for a lot of years and covered up with gambling, feel like I’ve rid myself of a lot things I’ve dragged about. 

The gambling itself is something I don’t think a lot of now, I’m more alert to situations and feel comfortable saying no and know my boundaries. I’ve got over a few hurdles, ie the grand national, the masters, the guineas. These are all times which I have felt I would’ve enjoyed a bet but my reaction has been “but that doesn’t work for you” and just moved on.

The next part of this journey for me now, is the money. Slowly but surely I am getting there, due to my partner being on maternity a lot of my spare cash has just been for her and the kids which has been lovely knowing my money is doing the right thing, With my partner due to start work again in the next couple of months I can start making bigger inroads into what I owe. 

Bit by bit I’m getting there and my life feels a whole lot easier without a huge burden, however you may be feeling or how bad it is, it does get better. Even after this short amount of time I can see and feel the progress.

To anyone reading, you CAN do it.

Speak again soon.

Adam

Hi mate, I see you haven’t been on for a while either. I hope your doing okay buddy.

OAU