Hi,
This post may be a tad long winded but it is essentially a means of me getting everything off my chest, please bear with me.
My gambling vice is slots, online slots to be more specific.
My story began back in the spring of 08 when I began following the principles of matched betting. I still do it to this day and make good profits but they consistently get swallowed up by unecessary, baffling slots play.
My first venture in to slots was on a site which offered a £50 bonus with a 3x wager requirement and an advisory site I was a member of recommended playing a certain game to keep the offer in the +EV camp. I availed of the offer and walked away with an astonishing £1,050 profit (some start I thought). As tends to be the case with early wins they plant the seed of easy money into the recesses of your mind and on and on it grows. Before I was done with that game some 2 weeks later I had lost the big profit and £1200 of my own and I was pretty fed up to say the least.
As the months went by I followed the same path with a multitude of slots and seemed to be taking one step forward and two steps back with my matched betting activities.
I pretty much followed the same path for the next 4-5 years but I was able to mask it many times by earning more via matched betting.
2012 was a turning point in so many ways and was most definitely the worst year of my life. I was the victim of an armed robbery in my own home, my mother was diagnosed as terminally ill, and my cousin and best friend hung himself an hour after I left him. This shortly got followed by a fall and a badly broken arm which still isn't right 3 years on AND after surgery. Some year aye........
2013 was tough also as still blaming myself for his death continued. The feeling was heightened when my mother lost her brave battle for survival and passed away on April 4th.
The following year was essentially a guide in "how not to bet". The thousands I accrued in matched betting dwindled to just £5,000. Slots play increased as did stakes (£4 per spin at this point). I was given a chance I didn't deserve on Feb 21st 2014 (mums first birthday since she passed and a sign that she was with me or so I thought). Playing £4 per spin I netted a £22,000 jackpot, I thought of the fresh start ahead up until the next day that is when I continued in anger. I honestly think I would have gambled a lottery win in that mindset, crazy I know.
By May 17th 2014 I had only £2,000 left and was contemplating suicide. Then it happened just ten minutes before my taxi arrived for a social gathering I upped my stakes to a crazy £10 per spin and within 5 spins I hit a jackpot of £179,000.
That spin changed my life in a couple of ways. Firstly it enabled me to buy a home which I did inside two months, secondly it highlighted my problem.
No win was ever going to be big enough and that terrifies me. I spent £115,000 on a house feeling glad that bricks are not accepted as currency by casinos but have lost all but £15,000 of ALL my money. I would like to quit gambling but matched betting is my only source of income due to me suffering from body dysmorphia. I am terrified that without matched betting I will descend into agoraphobia and a reclusive lifestyle so I genuinely feel imprisoned in a cell with catch 22 written on the name plate.
The situation I am in financially will not garner any sympathy nor would I expect it. My mission for this post is simple.......to stop before I lose everything and deprive the kids of a worthy inheritance.
Kind regards
Michael
hi
wow some story had me in tears , all the best mate
Thanks for persevering until the end mate. If I am honest I feel like crying myself 🙁
Hi there as a mostly-recovering CG my advice to you would be. :
1 ) * give yourself some breathing space * - if you have no control over your gambling then take out some cash at the cashpoint (£250-500), then report *all* of your debit / credit cards lost with the bank(s) / card providers. Just tell them you lost your wallet. With no valid cards, you won't be able to make any deposits. You mention family, when the new cards arrive give the sealed envelopes to a family member, or cut the cards in two & bin them if you cannot give them to anyone. If you need cash in the near future just go to your bank branch with ID - do this for at least 3 months. If you don't have any valid cards you won't be able to make any gambling stake deposits ! It is still possible to live on cash for a while.
2) You did a very wise thing buying a house. Fill out your newly-found spare time by doing all of the oddjobs that need doing, redecorate, do DIY etc.
3) knock the matched betting on the head - completely. If it's leading you to play slots then just forget it. Winning becomes addictive, therefore gambling in the hope of winning becomes addictive. ** In that addiction the power to discriminate between a winning bet & a losing bet evaporates. **
My advice would be not to do anything gambling related (even arbing) again. Self-exclude from / close all of your accounts. Bookies hate arbers! May I suggest that the only reason they kept your accounts open if you were arbing on them is that you also played on their slots - a gambler that bookies / casino operators love as the slots give (on average) a very low return to the player.
4) count your blessings ! You have a house & spare cash. Don't jeopardise it! You've already been very lucky, the odds of you hitting that jackpot were probably in excess of a million to one. Lightning doesn't strike in the same place twice. So it would be pointless to continue playing slots now, from a gambling point of view. The only point to it is that you are addicted. Where I live (London) there are hordes of penniless homeless people on the streets, with Winter coming. Be thankful for what you've got. Don't risk it - you have too much to lose.
5) to stop yourself looking at gambling sites / odds comparison sites etc while you take a break from it all, download a gambling site blocker. Google 'txnogam' you can download a free 28 day trial. Install it on all your laptops, PC's etc.
6) try your local GA meeting ! (see the GA site for a list). That'll get you out of the house ! You will also meet new people.
Hi,
Try your GP, some of your symptoms should be taken seriously.
CW
Thanks for your comments guys. I have already been contacted this evening with the offer of 12 free one to one appointments and I intend to get on to them first thing. Regarding the matched betting it is tough because due to my mental health issue it is the only means I presently have of earning a living but I totally see your point.
I do have cbt for the body dysmorphia but that discussion is for another forum.
all the best mate
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