Hi everyone ive sat e*e all weekend tryin to pluck up the courage to tell my boyfriend ive let him down..Again!! I keep going to say it but i cant.I know hel be mad n hurt n rightly so.But i dont wanna lose him.He works hard n im spendung his money on something that doesnt even make me happy.We're struggling financially because of this.Im not constantly gambling but since it came out about 2 n alf years ago ive stopped but had a couple of wobbles n once i start im constantly trying to win back what ive lost cos i know ive let him down so if i win it back i wont ave to hurt him by telling him. Vicious circle.At first i was getting loans but ive not done that since my boyfriend found out id been gettin them well over a year ago. Ive always worked in pubs or lived in them but never been interested in fruit machines or betting.I know the exact date i first tried online slots but i dont know why.The more i try to suss it out in my own head the more it feels like im finding an excuse.My situation isnt ideal im off work as not had the best of health so dont go out much.i lost my brother to suicide and so had all problems with his kids etc n not being too well n trying to sort everyone else out i forgot about myself i suppose.Im usually the strong one in the family but not handled things aswell as i usually would.im ao angry with myself and feel sick at the thought of telling my boyfriend.Other times hes gone mad n we split up but he came back.Last time he was angry and didnt really speak to me for a few days..But Ive felt relieved after ive told him.He asked me if id been gambling the other day n i wanted to tell him but a friend was e*e so i said no.So think hes sensing somethings wrong.I think i started doing it as a way to take my mind off other things but its just adding to my problems.i dont understand it myself so find it hard to explain it to someone else.Hence why ive come on e*e Think you can only understand something proper if youve been through it..He thinks when im doing it i dont give a toss about him..that couldnt be further from the truth.Hes my boyfriend my best friend and my rock.He looks after me so well.and loves my son like his own.I need this sorting before i lose the best thing thats ever happened to me.I feel sick but i need to tell him tonight cos its eating away at me
My heart goes out to you, i really dont know why i do it either. Did you tell your other half last night? I havent told a soul and have to keep lying on a daily basis why im short of money or need help with bill's etc just to get by once i have blown everything i have. Its a relief to be able to tell atleast someone on here and know im not alone. Im here if u ever need to talk x
You have options. Understanding this addiction isn't easy but you could start by ringing gamcare and getting some counselling. Next consider help like GA and going to the doctors etc. There is a lot of help out there. Welcome. Tri
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