New & feeling sick

Hi Ruby baby.

I haven't told anyone yet trying to build up courage but if you read some of the posts most people have found it a huge help. You havent said much about yourself but I'm sure if you read through some of the different posts you will find some helpful tips.

I wish you the very best of luck

I've joined today after managing to pluck up the courage and tell my now ex girlfriend just how deep I am. I've gone from having 30 thousand in savings to 20k+ in debt. My last bet was on Thursday and after coming clean to her although the outcome wasn't what I hoped it for it was inevitable. I can only tell you the relief I felt afterwards. It's a scary feeling but once it's out in the open you'll feel miles better.

Hi rubybaby123,

Well done for joining the forum, and thanks for your post.

I’m glad that you managed to get in touch with us however, you didn’t give us an idea of the type of gambling that you do or, how long you’ve been doing it, and whether you’re in debt or not.

In case you decide to open up to your husband, you can then ask him for his support too; remember, a problem shared is a problem halved.

Perhaps it would help to know a bit more about your gambling history, so we would be able to advise you accordingly.

I suggest that you try and stay in touch with us so we can continue to help and support you, and also to know how you’re getting on with your recovery.

Maybe, you’d like to contact our free phone Helpline on: 0808 8020 133, and speak to one of our advisers, and find out what other options are available to you.

Our lines are open from 8.00am to midnight.

My best wishes to you, and please keep posting!

Kind regards,

Beatrice.

Thanks for your comments x
My head is all over the place tonight. I couldn't face telling my husband so I wrote him a letter this morning and left. In hinde sight wasn't the best thing to do as really scared the hubby.
I have been gambling online on.
I think for a long time I convinced myself that everything was under control. I was in denial.
Even when I realised I had a problem I couldn't stop even though I always felt down and sick after playing and soo angry with myself.
I've accumulated debt and used payday loans. I am so ashamed of myself.
I contacted a councillor this morning.
My hubby was emotional and upset this morning he was angry that I felt I couldn't talk to him. He as said we will get through this. he as seen bank account details from all of this year so can see what I've spent and the loans.
We are going to the doctors tomorrow I've never felt so low and have a feeling like I'm out of place like a dream.
Hubby as told our children (they are all late teens) I did ask him not to do this but he did while I was having a lie down. He wants to tell my family too I've pleaded with him not to do this at least not yet but he said he can't promise. I feel so sick.
Sorry for waffling on x

Hi ruby I too have just told my family and although they shocked and hurt, they are supporting me. I am embarrassed and ashamed of what I have done but by telling them and being truthful I feel It has given me even more determination to stay gamble free as I don't want to ever disappoint them again like this and I don't want to disappoint myself.

Good luck on your journey

Hi Ruby

My husband is the recovering CG in the house so I can give you a little perspective on how your husband may be feeling. Coming clean to him is a great move especially as so many can't find the courage to do it but you now need to show him the practical things you are doing to restrict your access to gambling. Full financial transparency and handing over control of your finances is the usual starting point. You could also look into GA meetings alongside the counselling. Everyone there will have been where you are and will 'get it' in a way your husband can't.

Your husband needs support too. If he feels he needs to tell people to get it, that's no bad thing. The addiction thrives on secrecy and secrets are corrosive whichever side of the fence is keeping them. Yes, you may be in for some bruising conversations initially but IME getting the secret out in the open is often a start on real recovery.

Hey Ruby

- Lethe spot on as always! it's great to have your perspective

Ruby, as scary as it is, there is a chance for you to tackle this now, really properly hit this head on and get yourself to a much better, more enjoyable place.

Openness, honesty and actions are going to be needed. Tell as many people as you can, great your husband is going to try and support, let him have access to your credit reports - it's the hardest place to hide anything

get everything out in the open, there are consequences on the back on confessing but however bad they are, they are not as bad as keeping it a secret

well done and best wishes

Thanks chars33 for your comments and good luck to you too x

Hi lethe and compulsive gambler there as been so many secrets and hiding things. I hide all bank activity from my husband. He as been so incredible since telling him. I don't know what I would do without him, he is holding me together right now.

I have handed over complete control of our monies. I have always been the one to sort monies and bills out. We sat down together last night and went through the bank online so he could see everything. He's checked both our credit files so there's nothing regarding monies he doesn't know.

I've asked him to change the password on the laptop so I can't gain access. I don't want my bank card and need to sort out my phone.

He came with me to the doctors yesterday and helped me tell my family and friends. It's been a really emotional few days and I couldn't of done it without him. I've showed him this site and the doctor recommended it for him too.

I am really struggling with guilt right now it's a physical pain and I constantly feel sick. It's like everything is so clear right now. I feel so bad for my husband and daughters no one had any idea. I've put them through so much.