New here on Day 1

Hi all 

so I finally admitted I have an issue , Ive always had an addictive personality first it was drugs then I stopped those , then it was drinking and I tackled that and the. I found gambling , at first I thought I had control I was only doing £20 here and there, then it became hundreds , then my dad died on January and the only time I could stop crying was when my mind was busy with gambling ,I tried to help myself I blocked my bank cards , i signed up to gamble aware and blocked myself for 5 years, today I finally called my bank I sent self exclude emails and I told my mum I was disgusted that I was saying no to the kids for things as “I couldn’t afford it “ but was happy to spend hundreds at a time on gambling I feel ashamed , I feel like if my dad was here he would be disappointed in me and I owe my kids more than this , so here goes day 1 gamble free life hopefully , I am nervous Ive always replaced one addiction with another I just hope this time it can be reading a book or something thats not going to cause upset or hurt for my family !!! Wish me luck