Hi everyone,
Well here I am again. I visited this site about 5 years ago when I had decided to stop gambling. I did stop for about 18 months but slowly and surely the pull was too much and I ended up back online again.
My problems began when I was fairly new to online gambling and had a very big win. I did withdraw this but same old story started gambling every day until I was more in debt than before I had won! I got myself deeper and deeper into debt and did tell my husband at the time and family. They supported me and I attended GA meetings. I was the only female there and felt that they did not understand my problem of online gambling so decided to try it alone.
I did well to begin with but found myself getting bored at home and after having marital and anxiety problems I found solace in gambling as i thought this time I could control it. WRONG!
I think I am fairly intelligent and have a good job but when it comes to gambling my logic goes out the window.
I broke up with my husband and with the money I received paid off £28k worth of debt due to gambling.
Over the years I have lost soo much and for what?
My present partner is aware I had a gambling problem but does not know I have been gambling again. At the moment I have managed to rack up £8k worth of debt which i figure if I stop now I can pay off over time.
The crunch came this morning when i applied for a loan, I had to go into the branch and produce my bank statements. Listed were all my online transactions over the last 2 months. The manager added up all my wins and losses and refused the loan, I have never been soo embarrassed in my life but it probably is the best thing that could have happened as i have decided to take action and stop and have come back onto the forum.
I do not want to tell my partner as i am soo ashamed and I intend to beat this come what may. I know I am an addict and it will be a long road but I am hoping today is my new start. I have self excluded myself from every online casino I can and at the moment I have just enough money in my bank account to get me by this month.
Thankyou for taking the time to read this I appreciate any help that can be given as I feel very alone at the moment!
Cheers Amanda
Hi, if you aren't open about your struggles then the temptation to gamble again and try to win your losses back will always be there. You feel ashamed now but that always wears off. As an outsider looking in I would say what makes this situation different to your previous ones? Why will you suddenly stop now when you haven't been able to before? You need to do everything you can to stop - and I mean everything.
Many thanks for your comments I am trying to build up the courage to tell my partner but I just can't at the moment. Had a temptation to gamble tonight but came on here it's going to be a long road!
From reading your post I can see many familiarities with myself. I have realistically lost around £40k over the years and I stop and gradually the pull starts again. In my mind I have accepted those losses are gone but it has taken me many years to get to this point. I did win big on many occasions but this was never enough to pay debts off so I would keep gambling and lose even more. I would tell your partner if you can or like me if you couldn't face to tell them take away the funds to gamble. I closed my bank account, got a joint account with my partner and closed credit cards to limit damage. I have had relapses but due to these steps it limits losses to such a degree that I can repay them back. Just try and put steps in place to help and stay positive. Accept those losses and get a repayment plan in place if you can. Good luck and remember that this isn't easy.
Thanks Neil, really appreciate your comments, I have cut up all my credit cards and should be able to pay them off quite quickly. Luckily my money goes into a joint account and we take out spending money each month so it's not as bad as it could have been but bad enough! My plan is to draw out my monthly allowance once my credit cards have been paid so I can not gamble online which is my only form of gambling. The test will,come on payday but I am confident at the moment!
I found closing the cc helped rather than shredding them as I just got a new card previously and away I went. What I have done recently is got named as an additional card holder on my wife's cc as she then gets the statements etc and I have closed mine permanently. See what works for you but in my instance this should now eliminate any temptation.
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