Well I am nearly 50 and gambled almost all of my adult life. Started on holidays to the seaside, and graduated to casinos and bookies. My poison of choice are slots, I realised today that the only reason I want to win is to be able to gamble longer. I nearly always leave with no money and if I do leave with a win I can't wait to go back and spend it. I did get some counselling earlier this year and did not gamble for 6 months, but then started again worse than ever. I want to stop but the urge is so strong. I have no debt, or mortgage and plenty of money for life essentials however, I have seem to have a problem spending money on myself and no problem feeding it into a machine. My waking hours are governed by my urge to gamble, I want to get pleasure/joy from other things. In some ways I am a functioning addict. I have the money so what is the problem. The problem is, is it is stealing my life away. I have lost interest in other things. I have talked to my husband in the past but he was just so disappointed and felt trust was broken but no effort was made to get to the bottom of the problem. I now see glimpses of the same urges in my 13 year old daughter. I never let her go to the amusements when we are on holiday at the beach but she has gone with others when on holiday with friends. When we were at the coast recently she asked to go to the amusements and I said no and she sulked. We did not go, but I wished she could understand the self loathing it can lead to. By joining this site I hoping to find a place to vent where people understand my struggles each dayand desire not to gamble. I plan that tomorrow will be my first day in a long time that I have not gambled. I will keep you posted.
Just thought I would drop in a say welcome. And will look forward to sharing your journey. All the best
hi, just wanted to say your post brings has so many similarities to my gambling life, except i did not stop. now spending on life's luxuries are gone, i have been very foolish, do not i repeat do not follow my path and nearly lose it all. good luck
Hi, slots were, well I guess always will be my passion also.
You do right, to educate your daughter in the dangers of starting on those 2p/5p slots.
When I was gambling heavily, I used to always tell children watching me, whatever you do, please do not get addicted to fruit machines, you'll waste so much time and money and just end up broke and miserable. Hopefully I've at least saved one child from turning into an addict.
Even if not now, but sometime in the next few years, open up to your daughter and warn her of the dangers.
Hopefully by then you too could have taken back control of your life.
Thanks for the welcome and words of encouragement. I managed my first day with no gambling, oppotunity was there when I went shopping to nip into bookies but left debit cards at home and used credit card for shop. Tempted to buy scratch card at customer services but resisted the urge thinking that would be another £5 wasted. Trying to plan activities for tomorrow so I can keep busy. Weekends are usually OK as I am doing family centered things. Hard to talk to husband about gambling as he is so black and white and of the opinion you can just stop and not gamble any more. He does not undertand the temptation at all and has no vices just works too much.
Hi i was one for online slots, day one today of no gambling myself so I know how hard it is.
I'm at a loss of what to do with myself and it's all I can think of! I just find it too embarrassing to talk to anyone in my family about. I'm going to start counselling so I'm hoping that will help.
You've done well today fighting the urge so keep it up! We can beat this!
Stay strong!
Well managed a week of not gambling, but quickly went back to old familiar ways. Been visiting this site a lot and realized a lot about myself. I have noone to blame except myself. I honestly like to gamble win or lose, the endorphins and adrenaline rush are addictive but the self loathing, sleeplessness and anxiety is really not worth it. I have now self excluded from all my haunts for 12 months. I don't think I was ready to do this 6 weeks ago, I thought I could control it -I should have known better. Not gambling terrifies me, but also gives some hope about the future. I will be 50 in 6 months and I want to be free of this addiction that has consumed 30 plus years of my life. I am also getting councelling which should help me move forward and understand myself better.
Hi hopeful
We are all going through the same issues and the reason we are here. The gambling is not really about money, i have realised it is about self destruction. Nothing good can come out of it. You are making the right decision, quit it now. It is not easy, but you have to stop at some point so why not today.
Take it one step at a time, day by day and when you think about gambling try and remember how it makes you feel when you lose.
At the moment gambling has become familiar and not fun.
I am only a few days in myself and definitely feel something is missing from my life, I just need to fill the void. Silly as it seems, I have started collecting books for a charity in Africa. It is keeping me grounded and realising how fortunate we are to be in this country.
There are plenty of things to do to fill your time and make you feel you are giving a little back to society.
Good luck with your challenge and remember you are not the only one on this journey
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