Hi guys - I wanted to share an update on my journey, in case it’s helpful for others.
I’m a 35 year old woman who’s been struggling with a gambling addiction. It’s my first week gamble free and the urges have starting to calm down slightly. I was gambling every day for around 5 years and it was having a terrible impact on my job, relationships and finances. I work in a high paying job and have managed to save nothing, was constantly borrowing and lying, getting into more and more debt.
Last week I decided to call it a day and try to start enjoying my life again. The first few days were almost impossible, and if I hadn’t put all of the self exclusion and blocking software in place, I know I wouldn’t have been able to make it through the week. On the third day the urges were strong I looked into how I could remove the software, but instead, I took a deep breath, went for a walk and the urges in that moment passed. Although I’m feeling them less strongly now, they are there and I know this will be an ongoing journey for me.
The hardest part is the guilt and financial difficulty this month: the night before I stopped, I lost £4,000 in a matter of hours, leaving me nothing in my bank account until I am paid on the 31st. With no means of “winning” anything back now, I am really struggling to get through the month, but only a couple of weeks to go until I am paid, and have the relief of knowing that for the first time in 5 years, I won’t be able to lose all my money within a week.
All of my current blocks are in place for 6 months and I’m considering extending for 5 years to ensure there is no chance of relapse.
Good luck to everyone on a similar journey - very proud of anyone taking control of their lives in a similar way, and sending love and strength to those struggling xx
1 week is great achievement you are in the right place get the blocks for maximum 5 years and get yourself ongoing support you can do this and you do not need gambling in your life i am on day 830 and honestly i do not miss gambling and i do not want to ever go back their again acceptance is the first and main step towards recovery their no quick fix to this problem u have to option now to to not go back their again give it a few weeks and u will realise how expensive this habit is i am actually shocked i was spending 80-90% of my salary when i could have done so much in my life do not let them steal another penny find another hobby it will take some time before u start enjoying stuff i can promise your mindset will change i regret why didnt i put this empasis on my recovery sooner you can do this👍
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply – it really means a lot to me right now. Reading that you’re over 800 days free from gambling is honestly so inspiring and gives me hope that it is possible to move past this, even when it feels impossible in the moment.
You’re completely right about acceptance and putting the right blocks in place – I’ve started doing that and I know it’s the only way to give myself a real chance. Hearing how your mindset has changed with time and how you don’t miss gambling anymore gives me something positive to hold onto.
I know I’ve got a long road ahead, but messages like yours remind me I don’t have to walk it alone. Thanks again for your encouragement – it really helps more than you probably realise.
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