I don't really know where to begin with this...
For 3/4 years I've had a problem with gambling, but been unable to actually talk about it. I have so many examples of losing large sums of money I couldn't afford. But the one that stands out for me, is the day I deposited £1000 into my roulette account. I won £12500, over the course of the day, drinking and spinning the wheel, sat in my bedroom feeling invincible. I then lost it in just 3 spins, in my head I wanted £16500, which would of paid off my financed car I'd bought 3 months prior. I have never felt so low in my life. I couldn't let it go and off the back of that, I took 3 loans to gamble over a two week period totalling £33,000, which inevitably I lost.
This was 2 years ago now, and although I haven't been betting with that quantity of money since. I still in my head look at gambling in the same way you remember an ex partner (selective memory of the good times). I have banned myself from all online sites i've ever used, and i'm incredibly proud to say i've not bet a penny since 26/4/2018. But as I sit here typing this, I still have the to urge to find a way to bet on the football that is on tv. Right now I am not in an impulsive mood where I cannot control it, I am level headed and know I am being a prat for this to even be in my head. But I can't stop thinking about it. Does anybody have similar issues or fantasising about what could of been? How to distract yourself and keep motivated. Because despite everything I have put myself through, I am struggling.
Carl
Such wise words! Happy to say although i'm still thinking about maybes and what ifs. I have resisted the urge so far!
Thank you for your support
I’m ashamed to say I gave in yesterday. Although banned online, I thought going to the pub opposite a bookies would be fine, but it wasn’t. So back to day 1 again for me
Carld8 - If you get the urge, as I still do, come on here and read other people stories. This forum and the Diary forum are the best options. If reading those don't fortify your mind to not bet, then read the forum where partners post. It's heartbreaking to read the stories of what happens to the other halves....easily stops me wanting to bet when I read any of those three forums on here. Good luck.
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