Slots

I'm a gambler.. Have been for the last 10 years. It all started from an online bingo site, on which I discovered slots. That first win feeling at 2p a spin, soon became £25 a spin. Sitting up all night until sunrise, losing money I couldn't afford to. Deeper in debt. But that was ok as I was selling my half of my house to my ex. Months later, & yes thats all it took. My £50k house proceeds were gone. And I had still run up card debt. My once clean credit record, gone. I even spent on the same day my husband got paid,as his wages used to be paid in my account, all his wages. And that's how he found out about my gambling. He went to use the card & it was empty. I promised him I would stop & he supported me. But 10 years & many, many £'s later, I'm still gambling. It made me a good liar & very sneaky hiding it. It's been my family & best friend for 10 years. I hide away as I cannot face my son's & their families, my grandchildren. Too tired & hungover after a nights gambling, hoping for that 'big win' that never came, to socialise with my real family. The fear, the dread, the looking at myself in the mirror the next day & telling myself I m going to stop it must stop. But it never did. Until now..... after telling my doctor the truth a few backs, who advised me to tell my husband. And yesterday I called him & said we need to talk,this was the morning after the night before of gambling, where I spent every penny of my OD & maxed out my credit card. I lied at first when he came in & said nothing was up. My dread returned, my stomach turning, I plucked up the courage & asked for his help. So this is the start. He is going to support me & help me stop. I have self excluded from my sites, but I'm not kidding myself, there are thousands more.. the big test is payday in a week or so. And for me to sit down with my sons & tell them my story.