I haven't gambled a single penny since 24th October, my finances are now in some semblance of order and although my monthly loan payments are fairly substantial if I manage to stay away then they will be cleared in 11 months. I have spent the last two weeks reflecting on the emotional investment I made in gambling and the futility of it all. I hope I can stay strong. I am paying for CBT which I think will help me on my journey. I have managed to stay away before, I know I can do it in the short term, what I fear most is complacency creeping in, I just hope I can stay strong. Does anyone have any strategies that have worked for them?
Well done for not gambling over the past two weeks. You are right to be concerned about complacency because that is where most people, including myself in the past, slip up or relapse. What are the benefits of gambling? What are the costs, both real and potential? It depends how long you have gambled for and how intense your gambling has been as to how you tackle your recovery. I gambled for 40 years and it controlled huge parts of my life; I realised I needed to completely change my mindset and how I viewed life and reacted to situations.
I have not gambled for nearly two and a half years and I have made the changes that I needed to. I am the same person, only better, more engaged with life, more considered and less instinctive. I cannot give you the answers that you are looking for, because everyone is different. Just discover the real you and you will never feel the need to gamble again. You may be addicted, you may just need to break a bad habit. Try smart recovery UK and maybe GA, search the web for information on problem gambling because information is power and will help you in your quest. Good luck.
Ken
Hi Good Karma,
My goodness there is a definite pattern to CG's as my actions and thoughts over the last 10-14 day's have been similiar to yours. I think one of the secrets to stopping is actually being committed and really wanting to stop gambling. We can spend thousands on therapy etc but if the desire to have the odd gamble is still there then we will never stop. I know because I thought I wanted to stop before but my desire to stop was for the wrong reasons. I only sought help to stop because of the financial mess I had left us in but didn't really want anybody telling me I couldn't have the odd gamble on the slots etc. This was not what I wanted to hear. I was after an easy solution and sought advice from GA, counselling etc to appease my family, all the wrong reasons. I was oblivious to the change in my personality and behaviour and it has been through true reflection that I recognise what gambling has done to me. I am slowly getting back to that vibrant person I once was and make myself available to all of my friends and family when able. They are all re-engaging with me too and sadly some of them blame themselves for not supporting me through my periods of loneliness and isolation which is a place that gambling takes us to. I will never blame them, I blame the psychologists who advise the manufacturers of slots how to keep the vulnerable feeding them. I blame the owners of Land and On line Casino's for continuing to entice the vulnerable, I blame the Government, TV and pay day loan companies for advertising and encouraging more debt, but most of all I blame myself for being sucked into this ridiculous industry that is causing misery and heartache to so many. Alot of anger here Good Karma but it's seeing gambling for what it is. Slots are just a collection of pre arranged numbers with superficial cartoons and music to draw us to playing them and to distract us from the realisation that they are actually costing us alot of our hard earned money. We never win because we inevitably put it all back. I have made sure now that every device in our house has the protection of net nanny, we had to pay for it but my goodness it's pennies compared to the thousands I was losing.
Complacency is also one of my biggest enemies but if you block every device you have access to, have your money paid into your partners account and exclude from all your local Casino's then you are minimising the risk. I had to sit down with my husband in my "sane" moment and tell him every devious way I could access way's to gamble and then we put the strategies in place to stop me doing so. It does take a bit of time but well worth it in the long run. I keep myself occupied all the time but have also learnt, the busier I am then the distance between thoughts of gambling gets longer and I am confident that one day I will hopefully never give it a second thought. A counsellor once gave me good advice and said to consider winning when gambling on slots or any other gambling is just a myth. There is no evidence or truth in the belief that we will win. She is so right.
Keep strong and stay focused and just take one day at a time and eventually those urges will leave you.
Best wishes
Rosie
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