Struggling with demons

Hi King

Well done on being gamble free as that's the hardest step.

I can totally relate in terms of money as I secretly remortgaged but am also in a similar situation where I also have £50k in debt over 4 loans and 3 credit cards and I think about it every minute of every day. I keep wishing my life away as I know things will be different and better in a year, but then I'm trying to focus my mind and take each day as it comes and live in the moment.

I was considering a debt management plan to reduce payments but we remortgage next year and I know this will have a major effect so I think I will just have to live with paying the debt off so my credit file isn't completely demolished.

My husband knows what I've done and I really want to share the news with family to get some emotional support but struggling with knowing how to explain it and deal with their reactions, and the shame and guilt of it all as it doesn't make sense now that I'm not gambling anymore.

How are you feeling overall? Do you have support around you?

Hi King.  Sorry to hear this. It’s not nice having to consider a debt management plan.  I was one of those people - had an impeccable credit score all my life until I reached my late forties.  It means absolutely nothing the minute you get into debt! It is so very black or white. There is no in between for people like me,who had built up an excellent credit score for many years, was never in debt and never missed payments on anything.  Now I am treated just the same as anyone who has never had a good credit score/missed umpteen payments 👎.

The thing is however, if this is how it is making you feel about your debts and how it is crippling you paying them back on a monthly basis, maybe you should consider at least having a chat with Stepchange? I did and although my credit score sky dived, it did at least take a huge amount of pressure off me.  I still have my Stepchange plan and just don’t even think about it but each month the payment comes out of a separate bank account to my main account and I just tell myself that each month, my debt is going down. They don’t mother me at all and each year, I just do an online review of my spending, which then determines my monthly payments.

Take care and keep going.  52 days g.f is fantastic!👏👏👏. Whilst you are not gambling, you are not losing another penny to those rich gambling establishments 👌.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Hi King, 

I’m 362 days GF and feel exactly the same. Constantly thinking about the debt I stupidly built up blind and not thinking about the consequences.

It’s done now and that money is gone. Try and stay strong and think about the long term goal. There is a happy life out there.

I feel your pain though as I still get thoughts of trying to gamble and win something to pay off some debts and free up some money.

I know that’s isn’t the answer though and it will only lead to more debt and mental damage.

Good luck mate, I wish you well.

G