The blame game by the addict

Hi Highmum, 

Thanks for posting about this. It's extremely common for people with gambling issues to blame family and others for their actions when they are in the denial stage.

Gambling recovery about acceptance , acknowledgment and self reflection amongst other things so I hope that your son gets too a place where he is ready for this and to make the changes and accept the support. 

In regards to money and debt then we always advise strong boundaries and no bailouts . StepChange – 0800 138 1111 can also be contacted . They will be able to give advice on debt and help your son build a plan. 

There's support available for your son and yourself and anyone affected by this , and you are certainly never alone .  You can contact us anytime on 0808 8020 133 or via our website on our Netline service , and please try to encourage your son to also do this. 

All the best 

Kirk 

Forum Admin. 

Hi Highmum, 

Thanks for posting about this. It's extremely common for people with gambling issues to blame family and others for their actions when they are in the denial stage.

Gambling recovery about acceptance , acknowledgment and self reflection amongst other things so I hope that your son gets too a place where he is ready for this and to make the changes and accept the support. 

In regards to money and debt then we always advise strong boundaries and no bailouts . StepChange – 0800 138 1111 can also be contacted . They will be able to give advice on debt and help your son build a plan. 

There's support available for your son and yourself and anyone affected by this , and you are certainly never alone .  You can contact us anytime on 0808 8020 133 or via our website on our Netline service , and please try to encourage your son to also do this. 

All the best 

Kirk 

Forum Admin. 

Thank you for the advise. I think even though he has accepted the problem, he is still not accepting its his debt and that's where the bullying is coming from. After I spoke to you the other evening, I felt more positive I was doing the right things, we have stopped the financial help and suggested step change to him, hopefully he will contact them when he is in the right frame of mind, at the moment he is struggling with the mental side, he feels guilty for his addiction. I'm glad for your support

Hi... I think its a very common thing for compulsive gamblers to play the "blame game", whether intentionally or without even realising. I remember many years ago getting very drunk and writing a letter to my mum blaming her for my gambling addiction as if she had put a gun to my head and told me to gamble. She was not surprisingly very angry.

You have done the right thing in stopping the financial help. Dealing with debts is actually surprisingly easy once the gambler faces up to them and makes a commitment to sort them out. High street lenders will ask you to pay only what you can afford and if all you can afford is £1 a month then one pound a month it is. Often all it takes is a single phone call to each creditor, fill out an income expenditure thing and then job done... they review in 6 months or a year or even longer.

Of course the bigger challenge is stopping gambling and staying stopped and that's another story.

All the best going forward.