the end

Hi Paul,

Welcome back, I read a couple of posts yesterday that had your profile name, but was not sure if it was you 0)

It was only this last week that I posted on your other thread to see how you were.

I am really sorry to read you were drawn heavily back into this horrible addiction,

No judgement or lecture coming from me, my friend, because I know only too well, the more we win the more we lose:(( because we cannot stop once we start, we think we can before we start, but we just can't, until it has all gone, and that is where the money side goes straight out of the window, the addiction takes over, else we would be over the moon to win and walk away.

I can imagine how you are feeling now, so I will just say, take some very deep breaths, let the money go, it's not doing you any good health wise, dwelling on it,

Have you tried GA or councilling, something to think about, when you feel calmer.

My support is here as always, unconditionally, (you have bought tears to my eyes because I know how you must be feeling)

Take care

Suzanne xxx

Hi Suzanne, thanks for the post, I am going back to counselling on Wednesday, I can't really say I how feel, I guess its the worst I have ever felt, except when my wife left me. Not only to lose your life's saving's once but twice, I don't now how I am putting one foot in front of the other. Thanks for being there this morning for me

Hey I know it's easier said than done, but try not to dwell on it, good idea to try counselling again, Just push through for now, and pleased to see you are putting one foot in front of the other, it shows every even one minute you are slowly moving forwards,

xxx

This has to be one of the hardest days of my life, to spend the whole day looking at a screen that showed me yesterday £120000.00 is yours to be all gone is so so tough. Where was my self-control, why could i not accept a reduction in the available balance to £100000 life changin amounts that one would be happy with. What was i thinkin, what was I doing. Today is so so hard to be normal at work.

Because the addiction was in control, don't look at the screen it will make you feel worse.this will take a while to sink in,

At least it's Friday and I know you spend the weekend with your girlfriend, rock bottom now means the only way is up,

Let it all go at the weekend, at least blot it out, one positive Paul you are not in debt, you did not borrow money and then lose it, try and think of that as a positive

Take care

Suzanne xxx

Thank-you so much for being there for me to-day Suzanne, nobody else can be, nobody else understands. I hope your week-end is good, I will be back Sunday night. You are a rock x

See you Sunday Paul, and try not to be too hard on yourself,

Take care

Suzanne xxx

hi paul

heartbreaking story mate , i lost my salary this month after being able to draw a small profit if i could walk but we can,t walk , but i gotta learn from this payday which is next week not to make same mistake but its not in any comparison to your story but i know how bad i felt when i lost it all and the feeling of helplessness and consequences in the cold light of day as my gf lives with me and small baby and my selfishness , we need food milk etc but i must draw from you how destructive it can be be it a 1000 , 10000, 100000 , , take care joe

Oh nooo I am sorry this has happened to you and here I am feeling sad For the situation my son (cg) has gotten into. I'm not in a position to judge you, I have not walked in a cg steps, I can only empathise with how you must be feeling. Please please try and stop and take control of this awful addiction for your own health and wellbeing. Take care. J.

Hi you, proof indeed that we cannot win because we cannot stop! I understand why you needed to post the exact amounts but I hope & pray everyone reading this reads it with eyes wide open, knowing that they are no different to you & no amount of money, no big win is ever enough!

It hurts of course it does but you must draw a line & move on now Paul because punishing yourself all over again isn't going to make it hurt less! You have lost time & maybe a bit more pride but you still have enough of your heart left to know that you cannot give up on giving up!

All that money didn't make you happy so you have to figure out a new way! You must close the door on gambling once & for all & figure out a way to keep moving forwards - ODAAT

You need god my friend. Seek refuge.. How can you get into this devlish stuff and not pray to get out. Gambling is satans game, no gamcare or advice will help you. Turn to the most gracious, the most merciful. Why watch a ball spin when you can praise your lord, who created you, the heavens and earth and everyhing thats between. Believe its your only hope, if you dont try I promose it wont end for you

Hi Paul , just read your post and Wow ! I really feel for you right now .

Difficult as it is you have to accept it's gone , it's not your fault mate , it's the addiction and like all of us on here your a decent man who as a compulsive gambler , simply can't walk away !. Wev'e all done it and thats why we're all here .

Big respect for the honesty , don't be ashamed just keep walking toward the goal my friend.

Alan

Hi to everyone who offered me support on this thread over the last 48 hours, its been a horrible weekend, from riches to rags, I,m not functioning to well at the moment, so words are hard to come by. I will go to work tomorrow, even though I hate it, I guess the observations on here, if you have a happy fulfilling life you don't need gambling are very true.

Thanks the being so honest over the past days. You taught everyone on hear lessons from your own story. re the job. I hate mine but as I abstain for longer I start to enjoy it slightly more so it might be the other way round... gambling makes us hateful depressed people and without we can start to enjoy life.