the end

Hi Paul,

Pleased to read that you have pushed through the weekend, you have been in my thoughts.

Hope you get some sound sleep tonight, Suzanne xxx

Hi- maybe change is right maybe it is the actions and the addiction that is clouding your thoughts about your work. This moment in time must be very hard for you. I hope you can push through it - take care x wcid

Thanks Suzanne, in my sleepless moments over the weekend and there were plenty, I thought of your strength in trying to beat this addiction and keep going x maybe I will sleep a little better tonight x thanks x

Hi

only just joined,been struggling a bit with this online gambling s**t, just done over a grand in knowing full well I wasn't going to win, Been playing them for over four years now and lost a lot of money, I have a wife and kids and I feel guilty 24/7 something just takes over in my head and I find it hard to call it a day!!!! Reading a lot of comments on these forums and I can relate so much to them! Just cancelled yet another gaming site but there is so many more out there, came across this site so thought I'd give it ago So hi everyone!!!

Thanks again to you friends who have posted their thoughts on this thread, it means a lot. As you all know its Monday, Christmas is on it's way again, same sick stomach feeling as last year, lost monies, lost life opportunity's. I had my takeback on the Gambling Industry last Thursday, how just how could I let a lifetime's money away from me, chasing chasing it's the Roulette disease. The pain is ten times worse than before, at least I lost over a period of year's but K.... is 8 hours, it's utter sickness. But they say life goes on ................... when though will I ever be happy again, (I understand people's defination of happiness is different) but we all want a debt free happy retirement, but this addication has destroyed mine. This is a bleak comment to-day, but i don't see many happy days on the horizon.

Hi it's so understandable and obvious from your posts how devestated you feel. Yes you have lost copious amounts of money for which I can sympathise and feel compassion for you but as a non gambler I struggle to understand how this addiction gets hold of people so quickly with devestating consequences. I have learned a lot these last two weeks since finding out my 25 year old son is a cg. It's things that I never thought I would have to learn about as his mother. This addiction is destroying people's lives it takes you from highs to dark lows. You still have your job, an income, a girlfriend, a home, your health, your life! After seeing my father struggle to beat cancer this year, have two eleven hour operations, be left with no voice box due to throat cancer, he could dwell on the fact 'why me, don't smoke don't drink, have healthy lifestyle so why me? No instead he fought through the dark days (aged 76), awful for him and us to go through. You have the same choice do you fight to get out of this dark place you're in at the moment? You do have a future! You have a life, you have choices! Try and fight and pick yourself back up again. - thinking of you -wcid x

Evening Paul,

Listen post whatever you are feeling:) this is what this forum is for.

Paul can you honestly say you were happy within yourself when you had that money back again, ?? You got your retirement money back, but were you happy, relieved and actually content, My Guess would be no, otherwise you would have been over the moon and happily walked away, I know that was your goal when you started again, but when you got to that goal of actually winning your (so you thought) security back, ) it was too late, you actually wernt doing it for the money, you kept gambling because we literally cannot stop and sadly even more so when we do win some money back, we go not overdrive then (not us but our addiction to this does) you are not greedy for more money, you never were, it was the addiction being greedy, Infact dear Paul it is the addiction wanting every last ounce from you.

If you had been happy with that amount, you would of happily Infact deliiously walked away, but the addiction was already inside

Having total control, the addiction wants us to win big, jeez it's a mega feed for it.

Paul,try and look on the outside and think of your loss as the addiction and not you, this was not you dong this.

You will find this hard to understand at this time, but believe me you will feel so much happier with your life when you let this horrible addiction win, beat you, break your heart, whatever, because you will let it go all of it.

Try and stop thinking of what money you have lost, because you know getting it back and more would not be enough for this addiction.

Let it go,and start winning for real, if that money was so important, you would not have gambled it again, it's not about the money Paul, it's about letting go of this horrible addiction.

And it starts with being kind to you

Suzanne xxx

PAUL (shouting lol)

Will never judge you, but what's this about maybe next year, I know you have not given up on giving up yet( in the opposite meaning to how we use that phase in recovery)

It's not you thinkng rationally its this addiction lying to you, ok you start now to win some of it back, but this now is money that is not disposable, so the chase begins, and that is what us CGs thrive on, the chase, near misses, this is the addiction, because it's not about the money anymore Paul, it's about feeding it until we can't anymore.

Ok Hun, catch you tomorrow, please keep posting and venting,

Walking with you on all your bumpy roads.

suzanne xxx

Just testing lol, your answer was was I wanted lol, means to my madness :))) dear Paul, got you thinking positive though lol

Catch you tomorrow, really hope you get some sound sleep, xxxx

Suzanne xxx

Morning Paul,

How are you feeling today, ? slightly better I hope

Take care

Suzanne xxx

Hi Suzanne, got some sleep, first time for four days, really busy at work due to the Xmas break impending, so it takes the mind away a bit, and we have a Xmas lunch today, don't wan't to be appy, but no choice. How are you to-day ?

Am feelng good to be honest, my fog over the weekend has lifted and dispersed;))

Pleased you got some sound sleep, enjoy your Xmas lunch,

Suzanne xxx

Hi everyone who is reading and posting tonight. Christmas is coming soon, apparently a time for happiness, my last few Xmas's have felt really bad due to Gambling. I'm seating here tonight 17.52 after our Xmas do at work, should be happy but am I, oh no - and no-one knows, no-one would understand. This is the same computer terminal - ip address, that allowed me to get super rich and to return to being super poor in 8 hours on a lousy December day. I am so ripped inside I could go and hide away for all Christmas, but the family face has to show ..................... till tomorrow gamcare readers for then another really unhappy day on this earth will begin for me.

Hi there 🙁

You are really tearing yourself up, it's sad to read. I'm sorry for the way you are feeling. I hope you can battle through these thoughts and feelings. Take care x wcid

Hi Paul,

For that short time you felt rich, were you happy? you could not have been my friend, else you would have walked away, you have to ask yourself why you continued to play, until you lost it all, not easy I know,

I do feel for you and do understand, how you are feelng, try and move on from this, this time my friend, as I said let it break you,

this can be the end of your gambling, but you have to really want this, and this can be the start of a much happier and safer life,

This horrible addiction is thriving on your emotions at this time:( draw a line right through it, and start to be kind to you.

You have your counselling session tomorrow, let me know how it goes.

Take care,

Suzanne xxx