Hi all, i hope you are all well and are fighting the demon which is gambling!
Let me introduce myself; my name is ‘Em’ and im 30 years of age (31 in Sept) and i have been a compulsive gambler for the past 3-4 years. What started off as the odd pound or two on football coupons, spiralled out of control into the world of roulette, whereby, i have spent an estimated 30k on FBOTs and Online Gambling. The years of 2016-2017 were really bad but 2018 had been the worst by far. Its now got to the point where its affected everything- my health (constant tingling in nerves developed, i thought it was MS but MRI ruled that out for now), my job (taking 2houlunch breaks to try and win back money on FBOTs leading me to lie to my bosses as to why i was late back), my relationship with family and friends (isolated myself, portray constant anixety and basically not being a fun guy to be around) and of course the main one-finances!
I’m at a stage where i should be moving out my parents house but i simply do not have enough money due to gambling. Its utterly embarrassing after planning to move out at 28. I onlt have 7.4k savings and 5k credit card debt mostly due to roulette gambling. I knkw things could be worse but i should at least have 20k minimum in bank by now and no debt! I feel sick and constantly trying to win money back. After losing £650 in one day on FBOTs , i signed up for a second gambling site (barred myself from first one) and luckily won money back. That was my last chance-i could sense it. However, what happened? I blew the £650 yesterday firstly within the shop then online trying to win it back again. I feel completely sick! I feel as if i have got worse and worse as times goes on. It went from spending a few hundred a month to over a £1,000 a month (worat being £2500 in one night).
I have self excluded online and considering doing same within shops. Ive phoned gambling helplines but there is only so much they can do/say. Thus, i am thinking about GA as this is a crucial time of my life. I’ve watched people i know marry and move into big houses etc whilst im with parents, watching (or blowing) money away every week. I feel as if time is running out. Luckily i can save £1,000 a momth from Sept onwards as car will have been paid off but the guilt/addiction never leaves. Cannot believe my life ended up like this.
Guys, i would also be interested jn hearing how you can reclaim some money back (even few hundred pounds) WITHOUT gambling. Tried selling stuff on Ebay but having no luck and ridiculously low offers.
hi mate, you need to sign up to Gamstop as soon as you can as it was a revelation for me and reading on here, plenty of others.
Gucci87 wrote:
Guys, i would also be interested jn hearing how you can reclaim some money back (even few hundred pounds) WITHOUT gambling. Tried selling stuff on Ebay but having no luck and ridiculously low offers.
Mate, that money is gone, forget about it , its done with, concentrate on sorting yourself out and repairing your finances day by day, there are no quick solutions and if you get in the mindset where your losses are eating away at you it will make you inclined to think about relapsing, that is the classic gambler chasing losses which is a constant theme in all of us on here. You need to view your losses as a lesson (an expensive one) as to why you as an individual do not possess the ability to gamble sensibly and therefore cannot gamble at all. Reading your story , you are relatively young and you live with your parents so a few quiet months you'll be back where you need to be financially.
Thanks so much for the advice-it means a lot! May i ask what Gamstop is? How do you go about signing up?
Gamstop is a national registration scheme that allows you to self exclude from multiple online sites . It’s not foolproof as there are still other companies that operate away from it but it’s a good start . You can join SENSE with the casinos that you have to literally go in and do an interview to re join later . You need to also bite the bullet and self exclude in person at the bookies . All these are just stemming the flow of your losses and give you a bit of thinking time . I recommend being honest to people around you and to try and change your lifestyle , habits and also confidence . There is a better life out there that doesn’t involve gambling . GA may work for you and also starting a diary on here .
Thanks Bryan-i really appreciate it! I will be looking into doing all of the elements you mentioned. I will never gamble again.
I think we all are very similar in the way gambling has stolen things from our life and made us live a month to month existence . Many times I have lost a months wage on payday and lived like a pauper until it happens all over again . The brain thinks we need to win money to live through the month . The composed person after a short time realised that we only needed to win because we lost in the first place . Twisted logic but when you live it that’s what you think . I am over 200 days now and after 20+ years of this cycle , things have healed and now I am thriving . Got more money than I ever need and now am treating the family to holidays and we are looking to move up to a bigger house , all happened in 6 months but when I was still gambling just a pipe dream . You can do this if you apply the correct mindset and blocks to it
totally agree Brian, Ive been skint the last couple of months but a 'good' skint because the money has gone on the house, the kids, holidays - material goods that improve your life rather than £4 a spin at 4:00 in the morning ending up with nothing.
Thanks guys! Im sick of throwing money away on payday then scrounging until the next payday. Luckily im going on hol soon and i never gamble abroad so that will be the stepping stone i need to stop for good. I find also that leaving bankcard in my house helps. The hardest thing is getting over the losses mentally. If i only i could get 30k again! Pretty worried about my 7k odd savings at my age (nearly 31) but guess its better than nothing!
Thanks for the advice guys-it means a lot! Ive literally hibernated all weekend.
You are approaching this problem from the wrong mindset your posts read as though you are obsessed with money and attaining money you have a scarcity mindset and this is probably the root cause as to why you are having such an issue with gambling
You talk about having 7K savings and 5000 on credit cards…….this makes no sense as the interest you make on your savings is nowhere near the interest you will pay out on the credit cards
Pay the debt off and then start looking to move out of you parents house on a clean slate
There’s not a lot more anyone can say about the gambling …..other than self exclude and try to limit yourself to finances
At the end of the day you need to determine whether you’ve really had enough of gambling or not personally I would say 30 grand is a very good stab at it might be time to call it a day
It took me 5 years to get out of the FOBT/ casino racket and rewire my brain I suspect it will take you a similar amount of time
good luck
I agree it with everything you say . I think chasing losses has been my biggest downfall. As the credit cards go its interest free for another two years so not a priority (yet) and i will do another balance transfer.
30,000 is certain a good stab and way too much. Thanks for the advice. Hopefully my brains gets back to normal over time.
I agree pay the credit card off while u have the money, what's the point of it ur living with ur parents why do u need 7k?
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Hi Adam, i think it’s peace of mind having something rather than barely anything. Like for emergencies
I will balance debt and savings at same time then in two years once interest free period runs out do a balance transfer of a quarter of the debt.
Hi Gucci, maybe my tale might help you a tiny bit in the battle ahead. I remember my dad taking me into an amusement arcade on Brighton pier when I was 7, and I fell completely in love with the sound, smell and vibe of the place. We gambled a few pennies on a coin fall machine and that was it, I have been completely hooked on slot machines ever since. Now I don't even have to bother to drive to an amusement arcade, there are thousands available to me on my laptop, just need to settle down in my favourite chair and off I go again. The reason I am telling you this is that I am now 64 and still addicted! Over the years I have wasted hundreds of thousands of pounds. My partner and I have recently retired and I have already spent almost all of our retirement pot that was supposed to last us for the many happy years still ahead of us. However, I have recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer and now I am terrified I will die and he will find out the true extent of what I have done. He has no idea that I am still gambling since I told him, for a second time, 12 years ago that I really was going to stop and he believed it. I believed it at the time but here I am again, with no chance of making up any of the money I have spent as I now only have a very minimal income. Don't be like me, stop it now, completely, for good, whilst you are still young. This is my new 'day one' but this time I really will do it. I wish I had stuck to it on my very first day one but it's never too late! Good luck to us both and all the other addicts who want to stop, now, and forever.
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