Morning all,
I hope you don’t mind me posting on this board. I just wanted to introduce myself and perhaps get some inspiration from you guys to finally did myself of these demons.
Ive been reading these pages for a while and sharing in your troubles but haven’t had the courage to post until now.Â
Reading your stories is like reading my own life. It’s scary how this can take hold of us and it doesn’t let go until everything has gone. How can we keep letting it get the better of us. We know the feelings when we’ve lost it all but still we go back to give them our hard earned money again and again.
enough is enough. I can’t ever let it happen again. I’ve lied, cheated and done things I’m not proud of to fuel this addiction. Almost lost my partner and I’m not prepared to let this waste any more of my time.
To be honest, I can’t even believe I’ve let myself do it again. What started off as XX tonight became XX and then XX. Depositing with money I needed for my bills. I got lucky and won XX. Amazing. I was on top of the world for about an hour. I can keep playing and win more. Of course not. Because I didn’t win did I? It wasn’t real as it was just numbers on a screen and sure enough, I couldn’t stop til it was all gone. Just one more spin, the next one has to be a win right? No! And you hit the point of no return. You can’t accept what you’ve lost even though you are still up so you carry on and can’t stop til your balance hits zero and then deposit more til that’s gone to. Here I am. Casino account at zero, bank account at zero. Bills not paid. How stupid. I’ve been here so many times so why do I keep doing it? I’ve lost around £30,000 over the last couple of years and every time I feel sick and vow never to do it again. All the things I could have done with that money. Instead, I’m in debt. Hate myself and just can’t seem to muster up any confidence anymore. I constantly feel pathetic and worthless. I used to be so happy but not anymore. I’m just agitated all the time thinking of what could have been and wishing that money back. So the cycle continues every time I get paid. What can I do? Any advice greatly appreciated. I’ve tried everything but I always seem to find a way around the blocks. Like self sabotage. I just don’t get it. I’d love it if I never gambles again but I can’t get away from this feeling that I’m owed the money back and surely one day my luck will come in. Of course it won’t but it’s too hard to walk away knowing how much you’ve lost. Take care all xx
You need to block the gambling sites!!! Believe me I tried and tried, over 7 times to quit on my own it never lasted more than a week but I had to do it because I was about to lose my home, my husband and my sanity! I was self harming & wanting to end it all! The moment I used gamstop and put a block for 5 yrs on, I felt free! I haven’t had the urge to gamble at all because I know I can’t even if I wanted too! It takes the temptation away!
the self loathing and feelings of hopelessness will stay with you until you properly stop gambling! If you’ve got a partner who is in the dark, be honest and get it off your chest! Then you can start making better choices and the debts and money lost will soon start to go down because the amount you save from quitting!Â
While you gamble it isn’t going to get better ever! It will get worse and worse until you have nothing!
jadie
I'm sure you will get lots of practical advice on blocking sites, seeking some counselling, etc... and please do take all of the advice on board as the people on this forum really understand your plight and many have gone through everything you are going through.
So i am not going to offer any practical advice as others will do it much better than me. What I will say is it is absolutely fundamentally important that you draw a line across your loses and accept that they have gone. The biggest danger and damage to us all comes from chasing losses because we can't accept that the money has gone. This single issue creates the biggest damage to us all.
Accept the £30,000 has gone and there is nothing you can do about it now. It's in the past. If you think you can make the money back you will end up with even more worrying debt. Your best chance of coming through this and moving on with your life is to put all your concentration into the here and now and preventing yourself from gambling anymore.
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Thank you for posting on the Forum. It looks like you have got some good support from our other members here already which is great to see.Â
I just wanted to let you know that our advisers are available 24/7 and can help you talk this through. It sounds like you have had a tough time recently and we can offer support, advice and guidance on how to move forward. Our advisers can also refer you for one to one treatment which sounds like it might be useful for you. You can contact them on the HelpLine - 0808 8020 133 or on Livechat any time.Â
For now, take care and keep posting.Â
RebeccaÂ
Forum Admin.Â
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