time for change

Hi, my name is darren and I have recently admitted that I have a gambling addiction, I did not find it easy admitting the fact but decided to tell my partner a couple months back, I had received my monthly wage earlier than the usual date I get paid due to a weekend falling on my pay day, I kept this from my partner and decided to put some money in to my online betting account, i had been gambling for months before this but not to this extent, I only deposited £20 or so in the beginning but got drawn in and before I knew it I was hundreds of pounds down, at this point I felt like I’ve already messed up, I may as well keep going, I felt myself chasing losses and before I knew it, more than half my wage was gone, I felt so low and depressed that I could have blown everything I had earned that month with absolutely nothing to show for it, but even when I felt this way, I couldn’t help myself. Trying to win the money back that I had lost, I got a few little wins but nothing to cover the money I had blown, this money was meant to pay rent, car and other household bills, I decided that it was time to tell my partner so that hopefully we could battle this together, i was so embarrassed and ashamed of myself for being so selfish and so stupid, we got through that month after a lot of talking and I felt great, a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I didn’t think about gambling because I knew if I did, there was a huge risk of losing my partner and that’s something I’d never want, but due to the money I had lost, I had borrowed off friends and family (which I hadn't told my partner about) and found myself in a hole because I owed everyone money and thought I could win back the money I had borrowed, turns out it made matters worse, I blew more than I had borrowed and I couldn’t fix the problem anymore, I was too embarrassed and scared to tell my partner that I had got myself back in to this hole again incase I lost her but she found out herself anyway as I wasn't acting my usual self, my mood and behaviour completely changed and she knew something was up, I tried denying it but I wish I had just told the truth from the start and I wouldn't be in this mess, I acted like a complete idiot and I wish I could take it all back, even through all this she has stuck by me and we are trying hard to make things work,  I am more motivated to change than ever and I am willing to do whatever it takes to stop gambling for good and make this relationship my main priority, I realise I have taken so much for granted and it’s time to change, I am going to speak to someone about my problem and have granted my partner access to my bank to keep me on the straight and narrow, gambling is such horrible addiction and it’s so hard to get out of the frame of mind where you want to gamble but I am sure I can make this work this time.