Wake up call.

good luck mate , it is progressive aswell , just need to focus energy and our money on other things , sounds so easy in pratice but in reality the temptation will be with u again , like me its always around da corner so self exclude good start but long battle ahead

I'll wish you look. You've come to the right web-site for help, even if it is reading peoples stories. When you realise you have a problem that's a good start, when you actually post it on here that's even better!

The £5 Saturday football accumulator, I remember those and wish I'd stuck with that controlled gambling fun!

I've just told my wife last week about my addiction and the debts that go with it, not easy but glad I did.

Keep posting Wilko and I hope you can remain bet free. All the best.

I appreciate the replys guys thanks a lot. I'm just trying to take one day at a time, I've no way to fund it anymore as I've burnt my credit card and I've got 20 quid to my name till payday. Having hardly any more actually feels good. Think I will wait till I have everything in place till I tell my partner so atleast she can see I've made an effort to stop.

Thats great Wilko. The blocks must be in place as willpower alone wont do it.

Please remember that honesty is a key asset in beating this. Your family can be a real help but I will leave it to your judgement when to tell someone close

A healthier state of mind does come. The plan is generally that you think about it less and less until you wonder why you ever did it.

Counselling and a chat with the doctor will help you with this

Being gamble free is a great feeling. I dont have a great deal of money but I feel good knowing Im managing it very well

All the best

Hello, Wilko,

I am the wife who wasn't told for fifteen years plus, I found out the hard way and it was devastating.

There are a lot of posts about telling the OH, see Kelmar as an example. From your point of view, it's a relief to have it in the open, possibly she can support you by encouraging meetings, managing your money etc. As you've said above, it's best to show her and keep showing her what you're doing to overcome the problem, do get the blocks in place. But I would advise you to tell her, there'll never be a good time for it but she does need to know.

One reason for hesitation is the risk to the relationship? It's the gambling and addict behaviour that jeopardises it, not the telling.

Recovery involves honesty and transparency.

Wish you well,

CW

Thanks for the advice cynical and joydivider it's much appreciated. I know I should really follow your advice and tell my partner but there's one thing that's stopping me, she's 9 weeks pregnant and I really don't want to stress her out at this stage. I've made an appointment to get local counselling as the gamcare help is 50 miles away and there's no g a meetings in my area. It's going to cost me but it's probably money I'd have blew on the roulette anyways. All my other blocks are in place I've no where to play live roulette as I've self excluded from every single one of them. This has to be the end.

Thanks for the advice cynical and joydivider it's much appreciated. I know I should really follow your advice and tell my partner but there's one thing that's stopping me, she's 9 weeks pregnant and I really don't want to stress her out at this stage. I've made an appointment to get local counselling as the gamcare help is 50 miles away and there's no g a meetings in my area. It's going to cost me but it's probably money I'd have blew on the roulette anyways. All my other blocks are in place I've no where to play live roulette as I've self excluded from every single one of them. This has to be the end.

Thanks for the advice cynical and joydivider it's much appreciated. I know I should really follow your advice and tell my partner but there's one thing that's stopping me, she's 9 weeks pregnant and I really don't want to stress her out at this stage. I've made an appointment to get local counselling as the gamcare help is 50 miles away and there's no g a meetings in my area. It's going to cost me but it's probably money I'd have blew on the roulette anyways. All my other blocks are in place I've no where to play live roulette as I've self excluded from every single one of them. This has to be the end.

There'll never be a good time to tell her, I wouldn't leave it too long. My father took ill and died unexpectedly when I was seven to eight weeks pregnant, not a happy experience but we survived.

Wish you well,

CW

I wish you all the luck in the world wilko.

Tricky re coming clean, cynical wife says previous that theres never a good time to advise a loved one of gambling debt, BUT there are some times when the subject would do more harm, this is such an instance IMO.

I would advise every time to come clean to your wife, BUT stress at 9 weeks pregnant is something which should be avoided at all costs.

Does she know about the previous £7k loss, does she know about this recent debt through gambling?

If not, only you alone know how she would react when told.

I'd involve a family member, set up blocking software with there help (for passwords), this ensures you cant open any new accounts.

Go through with the counselling, and when the time is right involve your wife, a compulsive gambler who doesnt involve his/her partner in my opinion is not fully committed to abstaining.

My vice was also roullete, gambled on various forms, but predominately roullete on FOBT's in bookies.

Only a matter of time before that winning streak was coming eh?

You cover that many numbers that you've GOT to win the next spin?

Law of averages state you MUST win next time?

Then you win, so you double your stake, that streak is here?

These are thoughts that used to go through my head, no doubt yours also.

Then we're down to our last pound, we then look for ways to fund another spin, I begged, borrowed and stole to fund a session on roullette.

Found myself in exactly your position many a time, gambling someone elses money, losing it then having to replace with a growing debt.

Once realisation hits us that we cannot win because we cannot stop, then and only then do we stop and think of the folly of continuing to gamble is.

I hope that counselling gives you some of the answers that you seek.

I wish you well.

roulette is all you hear through these forums now ... curse that it be .

I totally agree with the compulsive gambler who doesn't tell his partner is not committed to abstaining, I just can't do it now it. In all honesty Andy she hasn't got a clue about my dirty secret, most of the money I've lost was saved from a previous job when I worked away and the credit card I used on Friday is now in ashes thankfully. I lost 4K in a very short period of time in 2012 and i think I've been chasing that for years, I kept saying I will get that back one day and obviously I lost more in doing so. I've finally decided that I can't and wont ever win that money back, the bookies have won. I will tell my sister for support and I've got a counselling session on Monday night. Wish I found this site 4 years ago it really has helped me. Thank you so much for the valuable advice it's much appreciated.

Hi wilko, I can understand that you don't feel it's the right time to tell your oh, but good for you that you are going to talk to your sister. It would also be worth referring your sister to the forum read some of the posts on here which will help her to understand. If you stay strong and determined you will get through this and for each day that passes gf you will get stronger. Don't let your guard down or ever think that a quick bet will be ok as it never will be. You are a CG and that is what has brought you here like the rest of us.

Remember this..... the bookies/casinos are businesses out there to make money......if we was all to win then they would go bust.......how many bookies/casinos do you know that have gone bust?

Take care of yourself and stay gf

I think it's very important to involve your sister, and when the time is right come clean with your wife.

Letting a debt fester away with the intention of paying it back only ends with that debt growing, it then grows into an amount that is un-manageable and then has a detrimental affect to your your life in many forms.

Hopefully the counselling goes well and you get some answers you seek.

Chat room each night between 8-9 can be good especially in the early days of recovery, very good advice is given out by those who have gone through this, some have abstained for years and still log in to help newcomers rid themselves of this evil affliction.

I wish you well.