Well im back again

welcome back lostcause

firstly the dark place will go!secondly the money you owe can be payed back evicted or not it can still be payed back!dont go back to the bookies or casino or online stay away the money you get can be used more positively then losing it even pay your landlord some,get a big bag of potatoes and a shed laod of super value cheapest of the cheap baked beans lol.

do you have anyone who can help you montor your cash flow?it helps as silly as it may sound but you know having cash or money or cards isnt a great idea at the moment.take it one day at a time things will get better!your landlord cant evict you tomorrow it takes time and there is a process to follow so deal with that then!

your sons stuff can be replaced eventually.

keep coming on here when ever you feel the need to gamble or jsut want a chat or rant and rave about s***e start a diary and follow it through and watch your progress from the lows to the highs but were all here for the same reason and thats gambling isnt our thing were bad at it and cant control ourselves.its an addiction and a very gripping one at that dont be to hard on yourself just hold on it will get better!

mark

also get some photos printed up and ban yourself from all the bookies it helps if you cant go and gamble self exclude from all gambing outlets and online sites sorry forgot to put this before.

Thank you mark your reply has me in tears I really needed to hear your kind words. I just don't know what to do. My parents have a rough idea and have asked me all day to tell them the truth but I couldn't I lied and told them housing benefit has been held up due to Christmas and that something fraudulently came off account and will be refunded tomorrow. Even though I know I can't get any money tomorrow it was so much easier to lie than tell them the truth. They know iv gambled before but I can't put them through the stress of trying to help when they don't have it. I just want to close my eyes and not wake up to deal with this tomorrow. I would love someone to deal with my cash flow for me but it then unravels the extent of my spending and the shame is what I fear most. Iv known for couple of months things where getting bad but found gambling would be the only way to fix the mess I am in. I know that's not how it works but I'm so desperate to fix it I let that cloud my judgement. I should be financially ok with my part time wage tax credits and housing benefit yet still I'm struggling to make ends meet as I blow my money week in week out. What's the best way to let go of the loss if that makes sense I really struggle to move on after a big loss and even weeks later still try chase it again xxxc

your parents arnt just there for financial support bud theyre theyre for emotional stuff too!come clean to them maybe not about pawning the consoles but about the gambling having them on side to talk to and monitor your money will be a great help having them take you shopping or go with them means they can pay for your stuff with your money and you cant take out more than needed.youve done the hard part they knew somethings wrong so come clean it breaks the chain of lies and deciet and will be a huge burden off your shoulders that your not in this alone.dont accept or ask them for any money and tell them not to give you any its probably the worst thing that can happen someone else funding your addiction!

the biggest step is your here and you admit your an addict so begin looking at this from and addiction point of view.nows the point of change in your life the turning point stick with it keep coming back when you feel you have to if your feeling down if you need someone to chat to if your angry if your happy get a diary going so you can progress and follow from this low point.

chasing losses sucks only thing i can suggest is just dont do it put it down as a loss put all this gambling down to one big kick in the nuts and its bigger then you and nothing you do can change it ever!

find if there are any gambling anonymous groups in your area or close by it sounds like many of us here we gamble to escape we gamble because we dont have many friends we gamble because were anxious many triggers but having a local like minded group you can attend and befriend people who are in a similar situation will be so helpful for you.thats what im doing in second week in jan cant do it before because im broke lol cant afford the fuel.gamblings like legalised mugging may aswell walk in with a wad of cash in hand walk upto the counter hand it over smile and walk out and say see you next week.just look at the bookies like you will never win!look how low it gets us its not a good feeling we dont even walk away when we win just keep feeding them machines till were broke.

just keep strong you can do it theres alot of good guys and gals here

Hi lost cause

Welcome to the forum.

Now deep breaths because there is help and there is no shame in admitting gambling got to you.

Now honesty is the main thing in dealing with this and you must now act on this dark low and start self excluding and seeing if anybody close will help manage your money

Please dont face this alone. The forum will be a great help but getting the words out to people close will be an invaluable help. I mean it as they wiull help you block and you cant do this alone with only willpower.

Please remember that willpower alone is not enough now and you need to reach out for all the help you need. The doctor can help with a check up and counselling

You have tennants rights and this can be sorted out with the help of the CAB for example. If its all being sorted Im sure the landlord will understand. Nobody wants to see you on the streets as you have to be housed

You must now finally realise that gambling is extremely dangerous and addicted behaviour.

You need the born again or phoenix moment because you must stop gambling right now. That is the main issue here and the darkness you feel now will lift.

You have been ignoring the odds and playing for escape. Gambling creates addicts and its too easy to get carried away. Its not a get it back later scheme and its not an income scheme to boost your earnings. You dont need it in your life at all.

Life is much better gamble free. You will finally understand whats important and thats you and your family

keep in touch and please ring gamcare as many times as you like and overnight if necessary. Ring for the support that is out there for you

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Well my lies have turned my family against me I'm sat here in tears again my dad went and payed 300 towards my rent and now wants his money back as I told them I would have something today and I don't. I tried to talk to him and he went off on one at me. I can't come clean when he's already so angry. I need to find money to pay my dad back today or he's done with me. I can't handle this. After speaking in here last night I felt more positive and wanted to tell the truth and then speaking to my dad there has proved there is no coming back from this for me. My gambling has ruined my life and I now face New Year's Day alone as I can't face anyone and can't handle the arguements anymore

Hi Lost Cause

I feel for you but your situation is recoverable. I had a big loss yesterday. I've been back on the gambling for a few months but yesterday shook me up. Previously I had stopped for a couple of years. Over that time my financial situation improved dramatically. I won't take long to get out of this dark place if you don't gamble.

Is there an opportunity for you to get more hours at work or even a second job. Getting out of the house will help take your mind off of things. My parents bailed me out on numerous occasions in the past. Your Dad may be angry, but he still loves you. Can you not ask him to take control of your finances.

Your situation will change, the darkness will lift. Do what ever it takes not to gamble. Today is my day 1 gamble free. Take the journey with me.

Wishing you a happy 2017

Stay Strong

Lostcause0311 wrote:

Well my lies have turned my family against me I'm sat here in tears again my dad went and payed 300 towards my rent and now wants his money back as I told them I would have something today and I don't. I tried to talk to him and he went off on one at me. I can't come clean when he's already so angry. I need to find money to pay my dad back today or he's done with me. I can't handle this. After speaking in here last night I felt more positive and wanted to tell the truth and then speaking to my dad there has proved there is no coming back from this for me. My gambling has ruined my life and I now face New Year's Day alone as I can't face anyone and can't handle the arguements anymore

Hi

I understand but there have to be new angles to this. Obviously you dont need arguments. Have you thought about handing control of your finances to your dad for a while. Im sure you can sort out a new start with him if you explain that you need help for a gambling addiction and cant cope.

Have you told him he can help you block. Does he understand how this powerful addiction works on people. Have you told him you are now seeking his help and the help of others for a gambling problem

I know its difficult with parents but surely they wouldnt see you in real trouble? When I stayed at christmas I was being told when to go to bed and what I can and cant own. They are loving people but we sometimes have little in common. Im over 50 so I do understand that its not always easy

I know you have your pride but you have let the gambling industry damage your self respect

Please keep ringing gamcare and use the chatroom

The citizens advice bureau are very helpful and its great to have another person that can ring people on your behalf. Be honest with them and it works wonders.

Have a chat with the doctor because that is a great help for stress and depression that this causes

Please dont get too depressed. Talk to us about your worries and what you feel a worst case scenario is. You will get through this and there is a point where you can only pay what you can. Your mental health is whats important here and everything else has a way of sorting itself out

Best wishes

The good news is that other people just like you, starting in equivalent messes to yours, have successfully turned their lives around. Usually via GA, but they've taken the right help and support, they've become honest, they've self excluded and blocked their phones and handed over financial control, they've basically done what it takes for recovery ODAAT. They've done it, so can you. If you choose to.

The bad news is that gambling has consequences. If you gamble, you lose money. If you lie, it turns your family against you. If you don't pay your rent, you end up on the streets. If you gamble your food money, it's not there to pay for food and you go hungry. One of the key ideas for f&f is that preventing these consequences doesn't help you long term, it just perpetuates the gambling. So your father is doing you a real favour by stopping the handouts.

You can help you, there's no magic wand and no quick fix. But there's hope, long term has to start somewhere. Start now to turn back into the person you can be. Stop lying, stop making excuses for lying and get yourself to GA meetings and to counselling. Call your creditors or contact the CAB or StepChange for financial advice. Take on the responsibility for your own actions.

Hope you change things for you.

CW

Your dad may be doing the best thing possible for you... though I am sure it doesn't feel like that at the moment. I am the mom of a compulsive gambler so I am seeing things from the other side. What reason does your dad have to think that anything has changed? Why is this rock bottom any different than any of the other ones? As parents we have heard it all many, many, many times and been disappointed in equal number.

This is an exceedingly dangerous addiction.Things are obviously dire so get yourself to a GA meeting... something , anything to show you are serious about changing things. You are not going to get well on good intentions.Your parents love you but we all have our breaking point when we realize what we are doing is not working so it's time to change things... because we LOVE our kids.

Please get yourself some face to face help!

Best Wishes

Cathyx

I need help so bad everytime I get paid from work is manily the time i gamble all my money. I also end up back in the street. I have to start again I gamble and wi n some good end up losing everything again. I feel so depressed, now I have move out again because I can't pay my rent. I usually control it because is mainly on payday. Sometime I could go for 2-3 months and don't gamble. This is ruining my life because my family don't my situation I only tell friend.

antlayes wrote:

I need help so bad everytime I get paid from work is manily the time i gamble all my money. I also end up back in the street. I have to start again I gamble and wi n some good end up losing everything again. I feel so depressed, now I have move out again because I can't pay my rent. I usually control it because is mainly on payday. Sometime I could go for 2-3 months and don't gamble. This is ruining my life because my family don't my situation I only tell friend.

Hi

Please give gamcare a ring.

I understand the stress in your life.

You must take action now to use this forum and put self exclusion blocks on. Gambling will destroy you. Ive seen gamblers who lose their jobs because they are begging for money at the workplace

Are you now ready to stop?

We are all here to help you

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Lostcause-keep your chin up, there is always light at the end of the tunnel! On your next pay cheque instead of gambling, but a copy of this book you can get a used version for £4......the best money I have ever spent and have not looked back since!good luck

Batman

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Easy-Way-Stop-Gambling-Control/dp/1782124489

Hi lost cause,

Wow what a roller coaster of emotions you have been through! But look at it this way if your at rock bottom which can and will improve by not gambling.your dads not a happy bunny but can you blame him? Its totally understandable but on the same note ask for his help not to bail you out the s***e again but for his help so he can monitor your spending and help you emotionally to become stronger and become your former self before this addiction the happy go lucky chap who was confident wasnt so anxious kind caring person who is still there just trapped under a spiral of s***e from gambling! It will all take time and focus to get yourself out of this but a few months down the line things will change you will feel alot better and your dad will see himself that transformation financially and in your personality and thats the fixer that will help regain his trust and eventually (not over night) respect.you may never get all your family back onside but its okay not alot else you can do about it but prove them wrong become stronger within and carry on regardless this is 2017 its time for a change a new outlook give yourself goals and targets to aim for and compleate you can beat this buddy 😉

All the best and happy new year