what a difference 12 months can make

hi guys i thought i would share my story with you all although im going to cut out the bit that so many of us are familiar with so in short. bad gambling addiction since i was 16 got in debt and gf found out when i was 20 forgave me thought i was off the hook and did it again and then one further time. at this point we have a daughter and i am determined not to do it again to lose her and my daughter. but low and behold 5k in 3weeks later im crying on the bed thinking i have lost it all.b i had no idea what the value of money was and didnt even enjoy the feeling of winning hence why i always put it all back in.

this is when i was saved she told me this was the last straw and she was taking it into her own hands. basically told me she was nto going to treat my as a baby as she already had one child to look aftewr so she didnt want to keep checking up on me or manage my money. she told me if we want to get married and have our own house one days then i have to do this on my own as no one else can make you stop. i came home from work one day i had been a week gamble free. i was very proud.. she then asks to see my phone and i pad i knew i hadnt gambled so thought this is good. she put them on the table.., took out a hammer and smashed both of them to pieces. i shouted at her that they were really expensive .... she then smiled at me and told me she was proud of me as it was the first time in nearly 10 years that i had spoken about the value of money.. she then bought out a new nokia 3310 and said for me to use it as if we had no computers or smart phones then there is no way i can do it at home...

this has been a godsend yes sometimes i think about it but not having easy accsess to it makes it so much easier to cope with. instead i have taken up running and just works as many hours overtime at work to pay off the debts...

i had a really good month at work loads of overtime and commission and i told her i was really happy as we could pay off 2k worth of the debt... bthat was until she then came and said sorry we cant do that i said why not? she then tells me she has bought me a surprise so we get in the car as she says its at my mums house. we geet there any all my family are there. the first thing they all do is hug me and tell me its ok and that none of them are mad at me. i then burst into tears and tell them how sorry i am and the sense of relief that there was now no more secrets was the best feeling i can ever remember having in my whole life. after a lot of emotion etc i turn to my wife and say well this cant of cost you 2k to get all my family to forgive me and then she tells me that were going on holiday me her my daughter and all of my family 2 weeks all inclusive in portugal... i was overwhelmed she had even surpised and booked the time off work for me. she told me i need time away now to relax and we can get the debts sorted when we get back. after 2 weeks of an amazing time away with not even thinking about gambling we are all having our last meal while away and my wife raises a toast as says something that made me really think about how stupid the gambling was. about how this holiday with so many loved ones and good memories cost £2100 which only 4 months earlier i blew in a 1 hour stint of gambling...... WOW the value of money was back for me and it was never going away again....

im not going to lie i went on an ITBOX at the pub about 2 months ago hence why my days without gabling is not in the 300s [i know its not much but i was still angry with myself lol]

any way 12 months ago just befor that holiday i thought i was going to lose everything and hit rock bottom.... 12 months later im happy again, we have gotten married in florida and and just had our mortgage approved today [hence todays post as i finally feel like i have defeated it and could not feel any better.]

my biggest 2 peices of advice from my story are

1. get rid of anything smart device you can gamble on you really dont miss the phone that much and the nokia 3310 has snake on so who doesnt love snake haha.

2 and morst importantly just be honest as hard and embarassing as it is that releif wwhen i found out that all my fmaily knew and still didnt want to disown me was the best feeling i have ever had.

YOU ALL CAN AND WILL DEFEAT THIS 12 MONTHS AGO I WAS AT ROCK BOTTOM.. YES MY DEBTS ARE NOT FULLY ALL PAID OFF [Only 3k left on a credit card] BUT LIFE WILL GO ON BUT ITS UP TO YOU IF YOU WANT IT TO GO ON WITH YOU BEING HAPPY OR NOT :]

HOPE THIS HELPS EVEN JUST 1 PERSON.

ELLIOT