Hello, I am feeling positive that this will be a new start. Having read many of your reflections on gambling addictions and struggles I feel compelled to be part of this forum to share and learn.
welcome to the forum
Its a big step, admitting you have a problem. Something supposed to be fun, went a little wrong. Some people drink too much, others take drugs or smoke. We gamble (or should i say gambled!)
No-one will judge, we have all felt the way you do, took a deep breath and climbed aboard. Enjoy the forum, go to the chatrooms, use the tools and counselling available.
Say an earnest goodbye to gambling and take it one day at a time, forget your losses, the money is gone, but you have your health ( I hope). It wont take long to put the sleepness nights and anxiety behind. Find another outlet. You will be okay.
Thankyou 21246pjc for your kind welcome. Yes you're right that we need to say goodbye to gambling and look forward to a brighter, healthier future. I am keen to keep in touch with other members to gain strength and share ideas as I realise only too well that the best attentions in the world can become unstuck in our moments of weakness or desparation.
We all have addictive personalities - find something cheaper to do! There are plenty of apps for mobile that have games - find one thats challenging and addictive - set yourself a score to beat and keep at it......I love word games and when I get an urge, I use these to distract me.
Could be anything
Yes I agree that we need to find other things to occupy ourselves with, because without doubt, boredom is a major factor which may return the gambler to their previous 'exciting' activities. Even when we're losing there will still be a buzz of adrenaline. Personally, I've not been into computer games but other pastimes such as reading, artwork, exercise and films can fill the time. Although I have only just joined gamcare I have, like many others, been on a long and destructive journey of addiction. Sadly I have addressed my problems many times over the years when things have 'come to a head', re-financing to provide a fresh start. But unfortunately things don't always turn out that way. This time I have self-excluded myself from all the bookmakers within a 10 mile radius - not an inpenetrable barrier but certainly a deterant to the route of gambling. My last gamble was 6 days ago and I feel confident that with support and willpower I can be gamble free.
Hi changemylife, welcome to the forum 🙂
What support have you had before & what are you using now apart from the forum? When I came here, I had an exclusion zone of about 20 miles & it was costing me an absolute fortune in gambling tokens to fill up my car & that was before I even made it to somewhere I hadn't excluded from! I also 're-financed' repeatedly over the years, never fixing the root cause (not that I know what it is yet) & whoop whoop, more money, ok then, just another £10, £20, £100...
This is a great starting point & for sure, support & willpower is definately required & with the right support, this can definitely be arrested - ODAAT
Thankyou ODAAT for your input. In the past I never really had any support, partly due to me bottling things up and living in denial. My family knew of my gambling but not the extent, also they could never fully understand the power of addiction which drives us on to make crazy decisions and neglect our loved ones. I tried GA once but did not feel the connection. I was refered for councelling 2 years ago and completed 10 sessions which certainly helped me analyse my reasons for gambling, past influences and coping methods. But unfortunately, until now I had not made the connection between gambling and depression, or the vicious cycle of alcohol, tiredness, stress, despair and gambling which leads to irresponsible and irrational actions. However, I am back on anti-depressants and a further course of councelling. I feel embarassed and disappointed that I have accumulated a further 8K of gambling debt during the last 18 months, but I know that when my work and family life had become unbearable coupled with the obvious problems, I was prepared to risk everything again for the chance of a life-changing 'big win'. Right now I feel much more positive because the problem is out in the open and I feel that I have the support of my wife and parents.
That sounds really promising 🙂 I don't think our loved ones can ever make sense of something we can rarely understand ourselves & I don't think they need to but it's vital that we have them on board!
Surprised the counsellor didn't join the dots for you before! HALT (Hungry, Angry, Tired, Lonely) was something I read & then heard (@ an AA open meeting) very early on. Hopefully this time around you can fit the jigsaw together & frame it for life!
If you're planning on sticking around, it may be worth getting yourself a recovery diary. The forum is a bit flat @ the minute but there's generally more support over there & it's a fantastic place to come when you need to ride out any urges - ODAAT
Thanks ODAAT thats really helpful. Yes I think I'll start a recovery diary as it will be good to express my thoughts and actions as well as reading the encouraging responses from other members.
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