2014 Challenge

Hi All

Just to introduce myself - I am late 30s and been gambling since I was 16. Although my gambling has been more controlled over the last 2 years it's still a problem which I know I need to overcome because I know until I am gamble free I will continue to lose money that I can't afford.

I have gone periods of 3 to 6 months gamble free before but this time I want to get to a year and beyond. Especially as this year my wife and I are planning on starting a family and want to move.

I am now 4 days without gambling and it does feel good. Just hope that temptations don't get the better of me again.

Chirst21

I haven't had a chance to read all posts, but the early posts talking about suicide are very frightening. I have been there, but not because of gambling, but other reasons when I was mid 20s. Thankfully I came through it and stronger.

For those of you with suicidal thoughts, you must realise that although you may not feel it right now you have worth and purpose and people would be devastated if you were not here.

Also remember this is not your fault! We all have different reasons for gambling but the reason we keep gambling is the same as people of smoke or drink or do drugs. It's because we have something in us that can't shake addiction.

There is plenty of support out there for you including this site (Samaritans). Please don't give up.

Chirst21

UPDATE: 31-03-14

Good Morning all,

Firstly let me start with a positive by saying I am entering my 17th week of abstinance.

Thats pretty much all there is positive to say...

This weekend has been tough for me due to continual problems with my long-term relationship. She still has mixed feelings and to be honest with myself, so do I.

We both would like it to work, but she insists that right now is not the time, which I agree with, but find it extemely hard to take. She is my world and I would'nt know what to do without her.

After disputing things again over the last 2 days it really did knock me for six and yesterday was by far the hardest day in my recovery so far. Usually after an argument the first place I would go is to the casino or a bookies. Yesterday I didn't go, but I felt vulnerable... Very insecure and very weak.

I could'nt concentrate on anything, could'nt be bothered to do anything, I felt annoyed and upset and also to add to that I was bored out of my brains.

I had no intentions of gambling whatsoever, but thoughts kept coming into my head and just would'nt go away. I did'nt feel like talking to anyone or even coming onto the website. I felt alone... 🙁

This went on for a few hours until I decided to play a game I used to play years ago(one I USED to have an addiction to for 7+ years) Whilst this game didn't hurt me financially, the introverted personality I have today is down to that game. It cost me £4.95 for 30 days membership and I was playing for most of the night. I guess some would say £4.95 is better than £495 ending up in the casino. To me both addiction's push me to the same place, which dents my personality and affect's my mental state of mind... So for me the price is irrelivent. Im thankful for the game being there last night, as I definately think it helped me to realise something. It's weird because even though I had'nt played it for year's it felt like I had never been away. Straight back into the swing of thing's and all my old tricks, routines and memories towards how I used to play the game came flooding right back! This scared the living daylight's out of me. How easy would it be to slip back into my gambling routine... Easier than I probably thought.

Well after just having eaten breakfast and reading MR Brightside's update this week I have decided that I need to be on these forum's more often. I have a diffrent approach, which could help many people struggling with this addiction, as im in the casino business. Still everyday I go to work and I have to face with the gambling environment, gambling conversations etc etc. My main goal after I help myself was alway's to help other's who share my addiction. That is what I am going to do from today.

You see MR Brightside, your right. This 2014 challenge is probably the biggest 'organisation' of compulsive gamblers that really are making positive step's to change not just there lives, but other's who also have the same problem. You have started something here that could be huge in the future and who would'nt want to be part of that?

It's time to hit the shower, get myself together and sort my bloody life out. I dont want to hide under that rock anymore. Not because of gambling and certainly not because of some silly game. I beat that game once simply by stopping to play and at the end of this post, I will once again be cancelling my subscription. The last thing I want is to replace one addiction with another.

So... I guess now is the time to chin myself up and start thinking seriously about what I actually want from life.

I'm going to get ready to go to town once I've emailed MR Brightside and do my shopping that I had planned to do 2 days ago...

I know its a long post, so thanks very much for listening!

Feel free to visit my recovery diary to read more about my situation and how I ended up here, titled: 'A Croupiers diary'

P.S - A warm welcome to all of our new members, feel free to share your thoughts or views 🙂

Scambling

checking in on day 10 and feel strong as ever.

keep going all.

Yes at times this addiction drives me up the wall

I feel like screaming

Like disco says i don't need to gamble but its the first thing i think about and often the last thought before i go to sleep

That being said i'm gamble free today and its a beautiful day

keep going soldiers

Another top update Mr B. I'm really grateful for the time and effort you have put into running this challenge. It really is a special place and I don't honestly think I would still be gamble free if I hadn't found this place. The numbers are growing and I don't think it will be too long until we have over 100 members!

Its a tough week for some of us, I think us gamblers all have similar problems when we stop. Debt, lies, relationship problems, depression etc...... For people having a tough time at the moment the only thing to do is try and stay positive. Running back to a bookies won't fix our problems. I like many others have made a mess of my life and it has cost me my relationship, amongst other things. The old me would definitely have run back to a bookies, however this won't make anything better. My life's a mess, but everyday I stay away from a bookies things slowly get repaired. Sadly after years of harm there's no quick fix and on days when we are feeling low we just need to try and remain positive and continue taking steps forward!

I have to be honest today and say I want to go to the bookies. The past couple of days I have wanted to. I want that buzz it used to give me, I have been managing fine until now without many urges. I have no idea why I would want to go back when I know how much damage its caused and how much more it would cause. Fortunately I am no longer as out of control as I used to be and I have a lot of barriers in place. Part of me wants a bet, but a bigger part of me doesn't ever want that life back so I won't be giving in. I hope this is just a phase that will go, I want to go back to the days when I don't have any urges!

As for the big meeting at the end of the week I feel quite positive, it may be a battle, but it won't beat me. When I wake up on Sunday morning I will have passed another test and hopefully be a stronger person. I really hope other members of the challenge can stay strong this week. There will be sweeps going round work and I think its best just to ignore them. Some may see them as harmless, but if I won the sweep it could potentially suck me right back into the gambling so I won't be participating. Don't get taken in by anyone saying its just a bit of harmless fun!

Phil checking in on day 104, really hoping we all get through this week!

Day 6 for me today. Having to fight the urges today as had money go in bank and this always makes the urges ten times worse. Want to be able to say I've completed a whole week tomorrow. I think I may start a diary soon but want to have at least a couple of weeks gamble free first. Sorry to hear disco had a slip, that is so upsetting. Hope you can get straight back into recovery. Good luck everyone

Thanks again Mr B, I keep forgetting these little milestones. 3 months tomorrow seems to have flown by. Still having temptations, but I have this group to thank in keeping me clean as I do not want to be at day 1 and letting the group down.

Quiet study times are the worst and had to come on here to post and remove that devil who is saying "go on it will be fun and much better than studying", but it won't be fun after blowing my hard earned money.

Seeing my bank balance slowly improve too. I love payday as I know its staying with me this time.

Rst - 65 days clean.

Checking in on my Day 29.

Good wishes to all fellow Challengers for the coming week..

Joanna

Hi everyone, checking in having not succumbed to this really awful addication, two weeks down, yet all the old feelings of winning on a Monday came back to-day. Monday lunchtime used to be my favourite on the 'fotbs'- boring Monday morning at work (i should be grateful to have a job) lets liven the day up into the bookies a quick few quid into the machine, 15 mins and out, fill up that car with free petrol, BUT IT DOESN'T JUST END THERE DOES IT?. So to-day I wanted a box of nails (say £1.50) my mindset said the bookies can pay for that, fortunatley my body avoided the well trodden trip to the robbing machine. So I guess a successful outcome i'm £1.50 at least better off, no nails though, but better than the s**m who perade over these machines as a fair chance way of winning or losing money (and i don't mean the staff who work in the shops - I mean the ceo's, shareholders, directors, md's of these mega - giants) they made nothing outta me to-day. Angry at having gambling thoughts but i didn't succumb - i'm still with everyone in this challenge.

On a more caring moment, I and i think we all should be offering support to Molehole on this site tonight/tomorrow - five years free - then succumb's to-day, this really is a long fight - my thoughts are with you tonight molehole - i know the despair you will be having in the wee hours.

its an ongoing fight but today's got better as its gone on

i keep fighting

hope everyone else is too

Evening everyone......why do my spidey senses tell me that we are going to have to be massively strong as a unit this week?

Firstly, I've updated the front page with the check ins and left some specific asks of the guys who have made their first posts in the last couple of days - welcome folks.

Scambling - I'm a bit worried about you mate - you're dealing with a heck of a lot just now - if you want to just download on someone then drop me an email and I'll give you my mobile number - or maybe think about Gamcare too? I hope you are ok soldier - you are doing so well - please continue to post and we'll support you all we can.

bornagain - Phil, we've spoken about the urges and no surprise you'd be given a challenge this week. You are so strong mate and what started out as a hard to read posts still ends positively - you are my ambassador of quan sir - I need you with me!! You know where I am - don't make me hunt you down - yo yo, know what I'm saying? Consider me your Mike!

Spain, bex, triangle, Julie, rst, delboygolf, Joanna, ringer - brilliant to see you guys check in so early this week.......reduces the heart rate a bit.

Disco......I wanted to share a couple of thoughts with you and in doing so maybe help some of the team or brand new members on their journey........bear with me, this could get a bit long winded........

Psychologists will tell you that when it comes to behaviors that an individual knows or thinks is doing them harm, they go through a systematic process of a number of stages that may lead them to beating the problem, lapsing or relapsing. Here's a brief summary of the stages.........

Pre contemplation - headline is that this is the stage when you are doing something that you kinda think isn't right.....say drinking, smoking, gambling etc. and you are thinking that you should do something about it. Could happen after a big loss or when you've let someone down as examples. You can either move to the next stage or you can convince yourself it's not a problem. Quite often we go through the cycle of pre contemplation, convince ourselves it's not a problem and exit the recovery cycle again. But eventually we'll typically move into the next stage.......contemplation.....

Contemplation - this is the first serious step to recovery - it's where you probably admitted to yourself that you have a problem, you really do need to do something about it and somewhere in there you know if you don't then you could be on a rocky road. Again, you may convince yourself that you might be over stating the problem in your mind or it's not really a problem and exit back into pre contemplation or you can admit you need to take action......

Planning - a lot of people move straight to the action phase without really making plans for recovery. Without the right plans in place we will typically fall over when it comes to the action phase. Some find this stage really hard because it may seem too big a task, or uncomfortable because they have to face up to difficult conversations etc. Disco - I think this may be where you are struggling in your recovery - have you set up e right plans to protect yourself and create as many barriers as you can if you really really wanted to stop? Things like planning to self excluded rom the casino? Preparing what you will say to someone you trust around your finances and especially access to funds are just some of the really important plans we can prepare to put into action. Have you got the right plans in place Disco if you really want to give yourself the best chance of recovery?

Moving to Action - with the plans in place we typically move to action - self excluding, finances, changing routines, telling those close to you are just a very small number of actions that can make a massive difference.

Maintenance - probably the most difficult phase so it's no surprise here to see many of our fellow soldiers having a tough time. Lot of soldiers struggling at the moment - the hum drum of life and the mourning of the past to an extent. It's a slog folks and this is time when we are at huge risk of a lapse or relapse........so we have to keep out individual and collective selves right, especially this week.

The last stage is either to come out of recovery with all the tools and experiences in your locker and be able to keep going with all the foundations still in place......or alternatively lapse or relapse. With every lapse or relapse, there was something in the planning, action or maintenance that was missed and we should learn from this, get back into planning and make sure e actions close out the gaps.

So the headline.........plan for your recovery really really well, creating as many as barriers to gambling as is possible. Learn from your mistakes and close the gaps..........and face forward at all times!!

Ramblings of a mad man over - I hope at least it makes sense and someone gets something from it!!

Try to have a great week everyone and apologies if I've missed something!!

Stay strong team,

Mr Brightside

Cracking post Mr B, I think everybody needs a Mike in their life! For anybody in the challenge who hasn't watched Breaking Bad you simply have to watch it! Its the best tv show ever.

Back to reality........ I feel much better tonight, the urge has gone for now. I have made plans for Saturday morning to keep me busy and out of trouble before work. So while I don't feel the bookies will suck me back, its just a further barrier to prevent me going to a bookies on National day.

Its a few weeks since I read those stages for the first time and they make a lot more sense now. Thanks for putting them back up Mr B, it did me good to read them again.

I don't get some people. There's a guy from an external company that comes into my work every Monday to audit our department. He is quite a big gambler and knows how bad I used to be and how long I have stopped for. He is aware I avoid anything to do with racing and betting. He comes in today and tells me his mate has a huge tip for the National, names the horse and tells me the odds. I've told him I'm not interested but it didn't stop him then getting his tablet out and trying to show me the odds on his online bookies site. I had to again tell him I didn't want to see it and he finally got the message. So I know one of the runners thanks to him, hopefully I won't hear of anymore runners.

Stay strong everybody we are all doing incredibly well. Also March is out the way, we are another month closer to completing the challenge!

Hi everyone

Checking in on day 111? Still no computer so will keep this short. Excellent update Mr b I will also email you when I get sorted about meeting up next year.

Welcome to all newcomers, our group is getting stronger each week!

I am finding things tough this week because of the coming race at weekend. Bet on it every year since my granny put my first 50p on a horse for me when I was 6! We have a family day where we all get together and have a punt and watch it but this year will be different. It has to be!

Anyway best sign off this thing before it crashes!

Stay strong

Linda

Hi all,

I feel much better today. I got all my shopping done yesterday, spent £50 on my myself(woohoo lol)

Normally after I would spend money on clothes in the past I would always get the urge to go to win it back. Even though I had a really tough weekend, I can honestly say that thinking back now I did'nt even think of the bookie's at all...

I cant even remember walking past them.

Well just about to go through my finances, as all my bills would have came out today, but I should be doing ok 🙂

Thanks again Mr B for your kind words.

Scambling