Little Voice (1998) Starring Jane Horrocks

Firstly, this is one of my favourite films of all time starring the utterly amazing Jane Horrocks. I doubt if she ever thought it would be used in gambling recovery. 

I love writing these daily topics and the subject matters is either prompted from my own thoughts at the time or something that is topical in meetings.

So I wanted to talk about speaking out loud. Now I've spent my life as a salesman and when I was MD I was the same. So I never thought I lacked in confidence and talking about myself is surely a subject I can't go wrong on ? Well I can. When I entered recovery I found in person and online meetings where I was petrified of even identifying myself. My self esteem was at rock bottom hand in hand with self worth. In fact, self didn't exist in a positive or negative way. Broken didn't describe it, snapped into a million shards of glass did. 

So it's taken me a long time to feel comfortable but not yet confident to speak in meetings. At my home GA meeting and online, the various sheets are ready out at the start by different participants. I found this so hopeful to find my voice. Listening to other shares gave me the confidence and acceptance that I share for myself, not what I think people want to hear. 

I've already mentioned on here that I had the great honour to speak in public yesterday to a large audience. It was slightly different as I wanted to say thank you to the audience so they know what a difference they have made to me in recovery at their annual conference. I had legs of jelly but also some form of confidence. I am so proud that I did it and once I started talking I enjoyed it. Never spoken to such a large audience before but it felt good and once I did it, I know I can again. 

This sector needs a voice as I feel we aren't heard by governments let alone normal earthlings who don't cross the line. I urge you, presented with the chance to speak to any number, please find the inner courage to do so.