2014 Challenge

Hi guys, kept kidding myself that I was in control, then lost it totally today. Need to sign up to check in which is exactly the sort of spur I need to help me. I keep thinking there' s a halfway house that I can gamble a little, but today proved me wrong. I hate letting people down so I really want to join this group and get some pride back in my life when I check in.

Morning all!!

Very very quick update for bornagain.....Phil, can you add John64, MJB and D70 to the group for this week as well please mate?

MJB - that's a lapse on both of the last Saturdays - im thinking that your barriers need strengthening?

Alcanal - I'll drop a note to you tomorrow at some point. Thanks for joining us!!

Axeman has not reposted and shouldn't be added tomorrow at this stage.

Good Sunday all!!

Mr B

Yes Mr B they will be added, I have made a start on the update and once again have to say what a legend you are. I have no idea where you find the time to fit all this in, but you are helping so many people and at the end of this challenge I'm sure a book could be written about all our experiences along the way!

A very early good morning to my fellow soldiers, here is this weeks update......

I am sat at 3am typing this out, two laptops infront of me and scraps of paper everywhere. I’m slightly old fashioned and hate Excel, so I have made notes all week and I am now trying to put them all together. I’m sure Mr B’s spreadsheets make this so much easier, but its all looking so much better on paper! I will also add that if I have missed anyone out or got any numbers wrong then I apologise. Hopefully using a mix of my notes and MR B’s spreadsheets this will all come together.

The Headlines For This Week

We really are building up quite a large army now, we have had 8 new soldiers, four soldiers who missed check in last week are back and another soldier has returned after two weeks away! Sadly 5 soldiers missed check in, hopefully you are all well and will be back this week. As it stands we have 45 active soldiers and I can see us smashing through the half century mark this time next week. Its now June, so well done everybody, that’s another month out the way and another step closer to being clean for 2014! I imagine the last week was quite tough for some of us who get paid at the end of the month, so its excellent to such a high check in this week. This weeks Spotlight is very kindly provided by Joanna (Baggins) and well worth a read. And finally we have hit a huge milestone this week.....................

Welcome To the New Soldiers

Plenty of people come and go on this website, starting a diary is a big help, but by combining that with joining this challenge you are really making a brave and positive step towards dealing with and ultimately beating your problem gambling. So it’s a very warm welcome to John64, mjb4000, D70, mile end, fitzy, sonic boom, Stephen2105 and alcanal. I look forward to reading more about you and seeing you hit targets as your days accumulate. We are all supportive on here, so if you need to let off steam there is always someone here to listen or maybe give some good advice.

The Spotlight Is On................ Baggins

1. Tell us a couple of things about you?

I’m Joanna, a grandmother of three little ones, so as you may have guessed, I’m a lady

of ‘mature years’ and that’s as much as I’m going to reveal about my age. I’ve had a blessed

family life despite some trials and tribulations, and a varied career, latterly as a teacher and

in the theatre. (Er, no, I’m not Joanna Lumley!) I have quite a few academic qualifications,

but this has not prevented me from behaving like an idiot when it comes to gambling.

I started about ten years ago at a particularly stressful time in my life: caring for an

elderly parent, coping with problems with one of my children, a demanding career and also

studying for a degree. Online gambling seemed a fun way to relax, an escape, but how

wrong could I be?

2. When did you realise you had a problem with gambling?

That was nearly three months ago. One night I found myself crawling into bed at 4.00 a.m.,

having lost over 1400 of previous winnings plus a considerable amount of overdraft cash,

trying to chase my losses. I realised that yet again I would have to juggle my finances for

the coming month drastically. To many fellow-soldiers these losses may seem peanuts, and

I am in awe of those who have been in despair and have turned their lives around after suffering devastating financial hardship. I salute you. That said, my gambling was affecting

my life in a destructive way - lack of sleep, wasting money and time, and an overwhelming

sense of guilt and shame about my dirty little secret. I was feeding s into slot machines

without any conscious perception of what I was doing, and the next day would be looking to

save pence in the supermarket. That sums up the lunacy that had overtaken me.

My family knew I played online bingo and treated it as a joke - little did they know the extent

of my obsession with slots - flitting from site to site, self-excluding, and then actually pleading

with some of the more stringent ones to reinstate my membership. What a saddo!

At times I did manage to have a break of several months, but always treated it as a type of

sabbatical, counting the weeks, days and hours until I could start being a zombie again.

This time however I knew it had to be a permanent break.

3. What have you been doing to fill the time since stopping gambling?

I’ve rediscovered many past pleasures: drama, reading, music, gardening, visiting people and

places, and best of all - having more energy to enjoy time with my grandchildren. In short,

rediscovering the old ‘me’ and starting to like myself again. Also now that I have spare money

each month I have started donating regularly to one of my favourite charities - Sightsavers.

This is very satisfying - putting my money to good use rather than funding the playboy lifestyles

of those fat cats in the gambling industry. Oh, and not forgetting this site - I spend some time

every day reading the forums and contributing when I can - a much better use of computer time

than staring at video slots!

4. What has been the most important thing you’ve done to help you stop gambling?

It’s a combination of several things, but firstly it has to be self-exclusion and the installation of

K9. I admit that at one low point I circumvented the K9 briefly to have a look at a new site,

but thankfully found myself repelled by it. I have not been tempted since.

The second most important thing is joining the 2014 Challenge. The camaraderie is marvellous,

good-humoured and benevolent. I really feel that I’d be letting everyone down if I were to relapse.

Finally, and I would recommend this to everyone, is writing down what you feel about your

gambling. I find it cathartic to put things in writing and this site is a good way to do this - I try to respond to at least one newcomer’s posts when I visit the site; I feel uncomfortable when I see

a 0 next to someone’s plea for help. And in replying to a newcomer’s post or contributing to

someone’s diary really helps me to strengthen my own resolve to beat this thing.

5. What is the best advice you have been given?

I have read so many wise and inspiring words on this site, and although it’s been quoted many

times, “I cannot win because I cannot stop” is the mantra which resonates with me.

I am an optimist by nature (perhaps all gamblers are) in that I always expect good outcomes, and therefore always expect to win. When I didn’t, I treated this as a minor blip, soon to be rectified. Hence the ‘hamster on a wheel’ cycle of behaviour of win, lose, win, lose. I foolishly extrapolated a good win into a means of earning a regular income from gambling, never mind the fact that I would keep upping the stakes and ultimately see all my money disappear. Eventually I realised that were I to win thousands, even withdrawing it, within hours I would be requesting reverse withdrawals and it

would all be lost. What good were my qualifications then in preventing my stupidity?

But enough of self-loathing - after all, even Einstein had bad hair days!

Blessings and thanks to all who have helped me along the way, and especial thanks to Mr Brightside

and his fellow-officers.

Thanks for your time Joanna. Good to hear more about you and I’m sure our fellow soldiers will enjoy the read!

Milestones Celebrated In The Past Week

Baggins has hit a quarter of a year, well done Joanna. The days add up so fast and it won’t be long till we are celebrating your century.

ToBeOrNot has hit the big century today, three figures is a huge achievement! Congratulations from us all, the more members of the 100 club in our ranks the better.

Delboygolf, Spaingone and Shorty8 all passed through the ten week mark in the past week. Well done to the three of you, it’s a big achievement to get into double figures of weeks clean.

Pinky333 hit 50 days in the week, so a massive well done from all of us, looking forwards to seeing you smash through the ten week mark.

This Weeks Milestones

Wednesday 4th June is a good day for Kickitnow as it brings up a quarter of a year, early congratulations for your achievement.

Friday 6th June brings another quarter of a year celebration, this time it’s for lostafortune or should it now be savedafortune! Well done, keep up the good work.

Saturday 7th June is a big day for our group and especially for Scambling as it brings up an amazing 6 months clean from gambling. Well done soldier.

Sunday 8th June is a day for us all to celebrate three amazing milestones. Firstly we have Drew2002 bringing up ten weeks, well done Drew. Up next is Mr B who will be celebrating 6 months clean! Superb achievement Mr B, and as well as 6 months clean personally, he has also helped so many of us to stop on his journey. Thirdly Delboy79 is 300!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely amazing stuff Del, you are showing us all the way and I look forward to the celebrations in August when you hit 365!

This Weeks Roll Of Honour

Name Days

Hardtimes 173

babybluesky 173

bornagain 166

Happy Days 171

lostafortune 86

Mr Brightside 175

rst18 27

Delboy79 293

Hitthefan 120

luckygirl 45

Baggins 91

ToBeOrNot 100

triangle 80

Scambling 176

Kickitnow 88

NoCrisis 18

delboygolf 73

AdamPrice 130

Spaingone 76

Drew2002 63

Gladsdad 57

Batman 108

Pinky333 56

Wolfgang 61

Mo 42

jess2910 35

Granite 19

Time4Reform 36

help2604 26

Shorty8 71

julio 88

Mikesaf 18

Vtr729 16

Leigh2014 5

Daz71 14

4evahopeful 14

John64 2

mjb4000 2

D70 8

mile end 8

fitzy 7

sonic boom 15

Stephen2105 6

alcanal 1

FlyingFox1 7

If you remember right back at the start I mentioned us hitting a huge milestone this week heres the numbers DRUMROLL.............................................................................. (I now feel like Lenny Henry on Comic Relief)

5146 Days = 257,300 saved from the bookies! We have smashed the quarter of a million!

Well Done Everybody!

Check in is now open, lets make Mr B’s first week back a 100% retention, have a good week soldiers!

Wow #1 - Phil - awesome update mate and the earliest on record!! Brilliant read and thankyou once again for taking the time out to step into the breach.....I owe you a good number of beers in August at Del's first birthday!!!!

Wow #2 - Joanna - just re reading your spotlight and wanted to say another massive thanks for the contribution - it's superb!! The Century is close Mrs.....so proud to be walking towards it with you......and way way beyond!!

Wow #3 - 45 soldiers!!! Only once in the 5 months of the challenge have we had over 40 soldiers going into a week.......and a poor retention the following week saw us slip back into the 30's again. We are a team, a growing army, common goal and a huge commitment to one another to stay clean.......this is a test of our individual and collective strength.......a team is only as strong as it's weakest member......my challenge to everyone this week is......no matter how bad the temptation, no matter what mail with fantastic offers you may receive........just no matter what.....don't be the weakest link and make sure you check in!!

Wow #4 - a quarter of a million pounds saved by us and this challenge.......it is still my aspiration that we will be at a million by the 31st December!!!

So it's the 1st June!! Happy new month everyone - I'll do the monthly update next Sunday.....but managing expectations......it won't be on by 4.50am!!

I would also like a volunteer for the spotlight for next week........but I would like to "volunteer" someone - Phil - you've done an amazing job for the last 2 weeks.....would you do us the honours??

I'm just heading for breakfast and will update the front page when I get back......but don't worry, if you check in from now on, it'll still count!!!

Thanks again Phil and Joanna!

Mr Brightside

I love reading these Sunday summaries - thank you so much Phil and Mr B for all your hard work, and for the nice words about me!

I don't know how I managed to type my little effort to look more like a poem, but I hope people haven't found it too hard a read.

Congratulations to all the milestoners, not forgetting the newbies - every day free of gambling is a milestone remember.

Checking in for the coming week on my Day 91.

Joanna

That's fine I will email over my Spotlight answers in the week.

Brilliant Phil - thanks!!

Front page is update now to reflect the active soldiers and check in activity.......I always giggle now when I get to my last post on the front page.... "But at least I know that there's 4 of us up for it"!! Never did I think that nearly 6 months and coming on 1400 posts later that the 4 would have a 5 directly after it!!

So so proud to be part of this team!!

Mr Brightside........out of the cage and doing just fine!!

I'm sorry everyone I have been on line and gambled away 5k last night in about an hour

I feel so alone right now I have no one to talk to and am in a really bad place I feel sick I can't stop crying I don't know how I'm going to get through this

Hi Mike, I'm not sure I'm in a position to offer advice as I'm still at a very early point in my recovery from online gambling. One thing I will say is I'm sure there's no need to apologise everyone on this challenge understands that we all have a serious problem. Your post really hit me as I have over the years woke to the same awful self loathing feelings many times. I'm sure other members can offer better advice than me but I just wanted to say your not on your own and if possible get up dust yourself down and start again. I'm thinking of you and really feeling your pain be strong brother don't let this set back destroy you. Daz.

To Mike18, Man I feel your pain - I've been in that situation before. There's no words or advice I can give in a moment like this. All that helped me was to know I wasn't alone. So I'm saying the same to you - You aren't alone on this, there are people here that care because they've done exactly the same, been through it, and by the grace of good support have come out the other side to a happier life gamble free. You can certainly do the same. Take comfort from that, and all the best mate.

Molehole

(To Mr B, hope y'all don't mind me jumping on the thread when I'm not a member, but I wanted to help if could. mx)

Hi Mike - You will get through this and like other posters have said, we are all behind you.

To use Mr B's analogy, we are all fellow-soldiers and you have been wounded in action - thankfully this is the best field hospital around and you'll soon be back on your feet.

You can do it!

Joanna

Fitzy checking in

Hi mike you can do it, I echo everything joanna said, just dust yourself off and straight back to the fronting soldier 😛

I'd say been an ok week few ups and downs but generally no massive lows, few urges, but defeated them with my range of weapons.

Keep fighting everyone let's not let gambling breach any of our armour, if you concerned about weapons you have or want to bolster up with new ones were all here to help

Fitzy

Not missing still here been busy working loads a overtime to make up for recent mistakes. Not gambling sorry I missed the check in thanks mr b