2014 Challenge

Wow!!!!! I nearly missed this.......

SCAMBLING - 26 weeks today!!!! Congratulations mate..........half a year of being stopped!!! Woop woop!!!

Mr B!!!!

Checking in on Day 24. Congratulations to Everyone who has added days to the total this week. Together we can do this.

I've had a few moments this week but I'm learning that I can handle far more than I previously thought possible. We are all stronger than we think as long as we don't gamble.

Very late check in today

Apologies for being so late I'm hopeless at timing 🙁 checking in on 114 days hope everyone has a gamble free week with no temptations !

All the best

Batman x

Well on the eve of my 300th day rid of gambling I have mixed emotions. I am extremely proud of the journey I have made so far and thankful to have shared it with wonderful sincere people.

I am so looking forward to tomorrow's spotlight but also will be a sad day when it is over, my friend Big P you a're a skyscraper .... love and respect to you.

Del 299 GF days 🙂

Well Mr Del.......the Daddy.......the Godfather......the Boss.......

Another milestone set for the team and I've stayed up until midnight to mark it!!!

Congratulations mate on the 300 days - 65 to go and never been more confident that the first ever full year will be clocked up then!! Roll on August!!

I can also reveal.........NOTHING will take the gloss off your day. The Big P is going nowhere. 🙂

Mr B

Jackpot:):):)

checking in ,no gambling since joined site may 26th 2014.....

Going to start setting little targets and goals to help me.

Did my first 5k parkrun today in 36 mins which felt great , you know what it gave me same euphoria and buzz as gambling.

I totally recommend running , I feel addicted and high still , and it's positive unlike gambling a true high not fake !!

Just going to chill tmrw and spend time with wife.

Onwards and upwards got through first few weeks , can only get better.

To anybody that may read my rambling you can do it , we're all in this together read so many posts on here that have inspired me , keep it going .

I'm working through sh*tty days and feelings now rather than gambling.

I'm determined to see out year gamble free and will.

Tc everyone , thanks mr b for starting this thread is really helping me.

Fitzy

First of all congratulations del for 300 days enjoy your gambling free day!

Sorry mr b for my late check in, but still gambling free and happy.

I am still very aware that i reached this point earlier this year and it took something so little to take that away from me so even more determined to not go down that road again. The difference this time I have self excluded so have taken that option away and have taken control.

Keep strong everyone.

LG

Sorry for the late check in, I've been keeping busy, taking time out of my triangle and it works very easily. I think this is day 33, time really does fly, can't believe it's almost 5 weeks.

Well good morning everyone!!

The holiday is over for this year……..and it was amazing!! Lying on a sun lounger, spending time with my amazing family (not just being there in person……..being there in spirit, in mind…..absolutely invested in them), missing my friends and family at home……………I allowed myself to think about what gambling has deprived me of for the last however many years. I am truly blessed. While I may be a compulsive gambler and I guess I always will be, I am now really winning and have got so many things to look forward to. 6 months ago today I walked into a bookmakers for the very last time and lost the best part of 1k to add to the 10’s of 1k’s I’d lost over the years. Today, my life is completely different…….I am liberated. I am hopeful. I have life. I am born again.

Talking about bornagain, once again, I can’t thank Phil enough for his superb support over the last fortnight. It was brilliant to read the update and watch the progress while I was away, but even better to know that someone was sufficiently committed to take the time to provide the stats around this amazing journey we find ourselves on.

I’ve listed a lot of things that “I am”……but missed one other significant one. I am thankful. Of course I’m not thankful that I am a compulsive gambler or that I face many months of financial difficulty or for the many people I completely let down……..but accepting that I am what I am, I can’t influence the past and that the losses have happened has been important. I am thankful that I am letting the heavy load go. I am thankful that I have amazing people around me. I am thankful that I found this site. I am thankful that you all found this site. I am thankful that we have found each other. I am thankful that many of us will arrest the addiction and be able to move on to new lives. I am thankful I have found new friends courtesy of this thread…………ones that I know I will have for the rest of my life……..but that I will meet more. I am thankful that we will continue to lift each other up when we forget how to fly.

Apologies for hi-jacking the start of the update, however, for those of you starting the journey or toiling at whatever point of recovery you are at……..it does get easier, it does get better and you have so so much to look forward to, even though it may not seem that way right now. Life without gambling is unrecognisable to the old life when it existed as an activity.

In this week’s update, we have the usual sections of headlines, roll of honour, welcoming new members and of course our money saved. We also have the monthly update seeing as how we have seen May come and go, plus we have a fantastic spotlight from bornagain. We have also got a lot to celebrate with our milestones………with more victories to be celebrated in the week to come.

Here are the headlines for this week……….

A total of 39 soldiers of the 45 who started marching in the week checked in giving us a retention rate of 87%. With 2 new members of the team to be introduced, the return of a soldier and a couple of the team from the previous update checking in too, we are 44 strong for the week ahead. Disappointingly, had the members of the team we are missing managed to check in then we would have had reached a major milestone as a group and hit a total of 50 soldiers - a new target for us! Of the 44 who are now together, we have just moved through an incredible combined total of over 8 years being gamble free, while the challenge itself has seen almost 15 years of members being free. Each of us is carrying an average of 68 days gamble free into the new week - target for the soldiers who have less days free than this is to get to having a higher number than the average! You will get there!

The other headline that merits a seat in this section this week is a new milestone that our longest gamble free member has reached! As of today, Del79 has abstained for an amazing 300 days! As long as everyone continues to target Del’s days free……..one day at a time…….and Del continues to lead the way for us, then we will in pretty good shape!! Congratulations Del……while most of the rest of the world are partying in Rio over the next month (without a Scotsman in sight - pah!), when it’s all over for them, we’ll have a more important party in Glasgow!

The Monthly Update for May………….

With May complete and the half way point of 2014 just over 3 weeks away, here are the stats for the group by way of Calendar months:-

Of the 44 members who are officially checked in right now, we have a total of 67 full calendar months free of gambling behind us.

Del79, babybluesky, bornagain, Scambling, HappyDays and Mr Brightside have gone the full calendar year of 2014 without gambling! (Linda - where are you Mrs……..you should be making up the magnificent 7!!)

Gladsdad, pinky, Wolfgang, Mo, jess and Time4Reform despite having many more days than a Calendar month have just enjoyed the full month of May being free - a first for each of you on the Challenge - congratulations!!

Amazingly, 25 of us have gone the full month of May without gambling - by far the highest number for the team so far………….and with 39 of the current group in the position where a free June is possible……….added to that at least 3 of this week’s missing soldiers who I am convinced will be continuing to fight their good fight and will return……….I am confident that we can see 40 members seeing the month of June through!!

Welcoming our new team members………and our returning soldiers!!

It’s great to see ringerbell and Strange rejoining the ranks this week and that life is keeping you busy! Don’t forget to check in this week or you’ll be in bother! I’m equally delighted that CasinoLoser has found his way back to base after a period of absence - take the learnings mate and walk with us to freedom!

We’ve got 2 new members this week in the form of Stopnow12 and Wolf57 - it’s great to have you with us guys and welcome to the team! We really hope you can find this challenge the additional support that you need (with a bit of peer pressure!) in order to gain freedom.

We have the potential for another 4 new members too, with Gazza26, ZZZ, skippyblue and Charlie1720 all expressing an interest to join. Hopefully by next Sunday each one of you will have reposted as requested and I’ll formally welcome you then!

For the new guys this week I read a few amazing inspirational quotes that I thought would resonate with you………..and most of the rest of us too!!

“Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.” - Les Brown

“I don’t regret the things I’ve done, I regret the things I didn’t do when I had the chance.” (Unknown)

“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.” - Bill Cosby

“Forget all the reasons it won’t work and believe the one reason that it will.” (Unknown)

“When you say “It’s hard”, it actually means “I’m not strong enough to fight for it”. Stop saying its hard. Think positive!” (Unknown)

“Don’t worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.” - Jack Canfield

The spotlight is on………..bornagain!!

1. Tell us a couple of things about you?

I’m Phil, a 34 year old compulsive gambler, struggling along with my recovery. My problem is mainly horses and dogs, although once the madness kicks in I have been known to bet on the most bizarre of events (beach soccer springs to mind). My gambling mainly took place in a betting shop, online just didn’t give me the same ‘buzz’. I have tried and failed to give this up many times before, however I am currently on my longest run without a bet since I was 16 years old. Gambling has deprived me of years of my life, cost me friendships, relationships, happiness and turned me into a pretty bad person. I’ve struggled along and now find myself living back with my parents with a very empty bank account and plenty of regrets of the past. For some reason Jim Bowen and Bullseye has just come into my head, the bit where he says look what you could have had..........I could have had a lot more than the speedboat but I gave it to the bookies. I do have a lot of remorse and regret about the past and realise I need to work hard at leaving these memories behind and moving forwards with a more positive attitude.

2. When did you realise you had a problem with gambling?

I think I always had the gambling ‘bug’ from when I was a kid and would play the 2 penny slots at Butlins. Then this progressed to regular nights at the races with my dad when I was in my early teenage years. Things took a turn for the worse when I was 16 and this is when my problem started. I lost my sister at the same time as starting a new sixth form college and I found life tough. While my classmates were socialising on lunch or free periods I was spending time alone over the road at a bookmakers. I was very lonely and pushed people away from me and gradually felt more and more of an outcast. When people reached out to me and invited me on nights out or to go for a drink at lunchtime in college I thought they just felt sorry for me because of my sister and knocked them back. Very quickly this gambling turned into problem gambling and I think it was Christmas 1996 when I realised I had a problem. I was always good with my money until then, I hadn’t decided what I wanted for Christmas so my parents gave me the money. I very quickly spent it in a bookies and then had to lie about where it had gone. Since then I have practically gambled all my wages from every job I have had. Typically I would get a weeks or months pay, visit a bookmakers and stay till I had lost everything or till the bookmakers closed. I would very rarely have any money left the day after payday! Over the years I have told so many lies, hurt too many people and generally changed from a nice 15 year old lad into a crazed gambling addict and a total shadow of my former self.

3. What have you been doing to fill the time since stopping gambling?

This is one aspect of life that I am struggling with. I am proud of the days adding up, but don’t feel I have made enough progress. Life is very empty for me, I pushed all my friends away and missed out on far too much. So I guess I am still trying to pick up the pieces and fill my empty life. I have however started playing golf once a week and watching live sport as much as possible. I have got to lots more football and rugby matches since I started my recovery. I’m looking forward to going to Yorkshire for the start of Le Tour and a full week at the British Open golf this summer. I am also hoping to get to Wimbledon if I can get last minute tickets. Once my debts are paid I hope to do some travelling, I really want to visit San Francisco. I also fill my time watching American tv shows which can be really addictive. Breaking Bad is my favourite, followed closely by Game Of Thrones. I’m also doing a lot of reading and currently trying to learn Polish. I think changing my empty life is going to be a slow process after all the years I damaged myself and my relationships with others, but life will come together for me.

4. What has been the most important thing you’ve done to help you stop gambling?

The most important thing I did was giving control of my finances to my mum. In the past when I had stopped I had gone weeks without a bet and then slipped up and blown all the money I had saved up. Now I only have access to small amounts, which are far more manageable for me. I have found I don’t count down the days till payday like I used to because I always have money in the bank. I was kidding myself when I used to think I could keep control of my money and deal with this problem.

A very close second is this forum and especially the 2014 challenge. My diary has been a huge help, its good to have somewhere to express myself and say how I feel. The 2014 challenge is an even bigger help, there’s a special bond in here and the positivity throughout has helped to spur me on. I feel lucky to be part of this and look forward to completing the challenge.

5. What is the best advice you have been given?

Sorry to be boring and repeat what others have said, but it’s most definitely ‘you can’t win because you can’t stop’. There were days when I won big and would go home on top of the world with a bulging wallet, but it was never enough! I would always be back the next day and always lose it all. I could have bought a car or booked a holiday with my winnings, but it always went back to the bookies! I believe that if I went to a bookies tomorrow and won a million it would all be gone in a few weeks. So that’s why I need to continue with my recovery, ‘I can’t win because I can’t stop’!

Something else that springs to mind and Mr B may remember the poster on here as I’ve forgotten who posted it. But there was a really good post relating to life music and keeping the volume higher than that gambling thing that we have in our head. (Note from Mr B - the post was by a guy called Kyle, Username is “KRS” and here’s the link to the post bornagain refers to…… http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/index.php?tid=293733 - it really is a phenomenal theory which the “older” members on the thread will recognise me having used from time to time. Kyle’s story on his recovery diary is well worth a read too - it’s called Sure Sharp and is just an incredible piece of writing.)

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Superb Spotlight bornagain - with some great hints, tips and insights in there for everyone. I’m not going into details, but we are aware how difficult things have been recently for you. Equally, it’s disappointing to have witnessed some of the unnecessary additional things you have had to contend with. It serves as an amazing reminder to us all that even when we have “an excuse” to return to gambling and when we are at our most vulnerable point that we can continue to win and abstain - I am so delighted that you will continue to walk with us despite all of that………and I know I’m not alone in saying that!

Milestones celebrated in the past week……….

Del79 celebrates 300 days free from gambling today…….words still cannot express how great this is Del!! Congratulations!!

Scambling and Mr Brightside have both reached 26 weeks……..half a year of recovery!! Scambling, I’m sure it feels as good for you as it does for me!!

lostafortune and Kickitnow both reached the quarter year in hitting 3 months free! Next stop for both of you is to join the Century Club in the next week! Superb!

Drew2002 hits the 10 weeks free today! Congratulations Drew…..you’re now moving into the exciting milestone periods of a quarter of a year and the Century! Keep going!

Luckygirl broke through 50 days this week too - as she posted, this is familiar territory, however I am super confident that this time the defences will not be penetrated!! Congratulations Lucky!!

Milestones coming up this week…….and there’s a lot of them!

Monday 9th June - Mo celebrates being 50 days free!!

Tuesday 10th June - Babybluesky reaches exactly 26 weeks, or half a year free from gambling (as would Hardtimes if she’s with us?)! Superb BBS and HT!! The dame of the challenge, our very own Baggins joins the Century Club - awesome going Joanna! Wolfgang celebrates hitting double digits in weeks free - 10 weeks clean……….congrats to both you and the LouWolf soldier!!

Thursday 12th June - Happy Days hits 26 weeks free and moves onto half a year clean! Woop woop Mike! Ringerbell and triangle both celebrate 13 weeks free and as such have been free from gambling now for a quarter of a year! Great going folks!

Friday 13th June - Kickitnow and Julio both join the growing numbers in the Century Club!! You guys will make it numbers 10 and 11 in this prestigious group!! Fantastic!!

Saturday 14th June - Gladsdad reaches the 10 week mark - 70 days free and sunning himself in Greece - not bad soldier!! Have a great time!

Sunday 15th June - lostafortune makes it a round dozen in the Century Club - 100 days LAF…….or as Phil suggested last week, savingafortune!! Pink moves onto double digits of weeks free and Time4Reform hits 50 days free - a great day of celebration next Sunday - congrats everyone!!

And onto the Roll of Honour for this week……….

The soldiers marching into this week and their number of clean days is as follows:-

Name Days Clean

babybluesky 180

bornagain 173

Happy Days 178

lostafortune 93

Mr Brightside 182

rst18 34

Delboy79 300

Hitthefan 127

luckygirl 52

Baggins 98

triangle 87

Scambling 183

Kickitnow 95

NoCrisis 25

ringerbell 87

delboygolf 80

Spaingone 83 (Have a great holiday Spain - I'll check you in!)

Drew2002 70

Gladsdad 64

Batman 115

Pinky333 63

Strange 30

Wolfgang 68

Mo 49

jess2910 42

Time4Reform 43

help2604 33

Shorty8 78

julio 95

Mike18 8

Leigh2014 12

Daz71 21

4evahopeful 21

John64 9

MJB4000 9

D70 15

Mileend 15

Fitzy 14

Sonic Boom 22

Stephen2105 13

Alcanal 8

CasinoLoser 6

Stopnow12 5

Wolf57 3

Drum roll………total days free of gambling since the Challenge began……….

5440 Days = 272,000 in our pockets………………..0 in the bookies!!!

With a great week we will be hitting the 300,000 mark very very soon!!!

Well done if you’ve got this far in reading the update - lol!! I’ve been away for a fortnight and had a lot to talk about!! Have a superb week everyone and stay strong!!

Check in is now open for w/c 9th June!!

Mr Brightside

Wow - what an update Mr B! Thank you so much - Sundays wouldn't be the same without reading your lovely words. And I have a new title .... 'the dame of the challenge'... now would that be more of your pantomime dame or a 'Guys and Dolls' dame? I think I'll opt for the latter.

Many many congratulations to all fellow-soldiers for their individual service records, and a really big hand for bornagain for his Spotlight feature. You really do deserve a medal!

Best wishes to all and a welcome to the newcomers.

Joanna :o)

checking in on day 87

lovely update thanks

well done to all our fellow soldiers in arms keep fighting together

triangle

Hi

Just logged on to read the weekly update..

Thanks for great spotlight bornagain - your honesty is appreciated my friend - I do hope that San Francisco is a trip that you will achieve, just look at where you are now and how far you have come.

Incidentally I can relate to the 'set weekly allowance'- it has certainly helped me in moving forwards with getting things in order.. Great advice for the newbies!!

Keep up the good work - Best Regards

I'm picturing myself celebrating the same goal now!!!

Thanks again to Mr B - he continues to support us and carry the army forward ( with great help while away)

Hello to the new recruits and good luck with your journey to recovery.. Use this site and advice from the 'elders' as your tools to a better future -STAY STRONG

Life is better not being a better -

I hope we all have a good week

Hi to Wolfgang - not spoke for a couple of weeks - I hope you are well

Glads dad- I am a compulsive gambler

Checking in on day 80.

"Life is better not being a better" - that's a great motto - thank you GladsDad. I think we should have that as the regiment's cap badge - or perhaps I could work it into a sampler......

or a tattoo!

Joanna