2015 Challenge

Morning sorry I'm late checking in been really busy not had any issues with gambling this week at all- Glads dad =happy bunny

Checking in on day 325.

Signing in day 15

Sorry guys, i am out; i cracked last weekend (Saturday) then on Monday & Tuesday.

Need to get my head back in it, although it wasn't the usual financial disaster that happens when i gamble i obviously didn't win; we all know compulsive gamblers can't walk away. Will need to get my head down and concentrate on each day as it comes.

answers are

hitting rock bottom again for me was the biggest trigger to stop.

Going back to GA is the thing I look forward to the most as it reinforces my barriers, talking to the wife who has my credit card and a separate account for spending money which is just enough to keep me in beer- petrol- etc. I know this isn't an ideal for all but it works for me - people say that they don't have access to money etc which is totally acceptable for them, but this works for me... the reasoning behind my abstinence is looking forward to a better HONEST life for me and my family- keeping myself straight to me is fundamental in my recovery. GA is a wonderful partner in this fight

The future is what keeps me going now - a better future, and a better life... But by the same token remembering the bad times that put me here are always in the back of my mind to bolster my recovery.

Thanks Glads dad

Checking In - day 241.

No gambling urges lately. Always aware that I am only one bet away from the downward spiral of chasing losses. Life is calm and I will keep it this way. Take care everyone. Suzy

Challenge Update Week 6

Introduction

Do you want this???????? That’s the first thing that comes to my mind on this very disappointing morning where we are missing 16 check ins! I want it and the 54 fellow troops safely checked in clearly want it as well. I can’t believe pay day weekend has wiped out so many troops, I hope some of you are doing so well in your recovery that you’ve forgotten to log in as life becomes full again. Clearly there have also been some slip ups, if you have slipped up or are struggling right now then get posting on here, we are in this together and we can help each other. I have lived this journey through the 2014 challenge and at times I wanted to give up and accept I couldn’t beat my addiction, but I fought on and now I’m loving every day that recovery gifts me. Don’t give up on the fight, if you want to do this get checked back in and make 2015 your year!

On a positive note there is now a core of people making that daily choice not to gamble. We as a group are strong and the days are really adding up. I enjoy checking my spreadsheets on a Sunday to see more milestones for the group. I believe there will be plenty of us still going strong on December 31^st looking back on a superb year!

Thanks to those who have posted their answers to last week’s update question. I really think it’s useful for new soldiers to see what’s helped others to stop gambling and if anyone is struggling then it’s worth a read back through last week’s posts to see if anything can work for you.

Missing Soldiers

Last week I said I would check in missing soldiers who had been here for more than 4 weeks, however I have had a change of heart. It takes 2 minutes to do a quick check in and I believe for anyone trying to stop gambling this challenge is a huge help. So from now on if you miss check in I will leave you on the front page as a missing soldier and if you miss two weeks on the run I will remove you from the list. But don’t feel excluded, if you have had a slip you are welcome back at any time and will get a warm and supportive welcome. We have the Wednesday night chatroom run by Sergeant triangle, a telephone list you can get by emailing [email protected] and a wealth of knowledgeable fellow troops on here. Any soldier in need simply has to get back on here as by getting back or staying on track we have such a bright future!

StoneRoses,barney2909,Elfie17.Stephen2105,baggins,Promise,LEST-WE-FORGET,matty21,Ab89,willz82,Pabby,lollypoplol,Scambling,Billm883,mjb4000,Down and out. You are all missing, but welcome back at anytime and looking at some of those names I know you won’t have slipped up!

The Stages Of Change

This was something that Mr B highlighted in the 2014 challenge and with us having so many missing check ins and potential slip ups I feel it could be useful for anyone struggling right now. I have taken this from the www.addictioninfo.org website.

The Stages of Change Model was originally developed in the late 1970's and early 1980's by James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente at the University of Rhode Island when they were studying how smokers were able to give up their habits or addiction.

Addiction: The negative end state of a syndrome (of neurobiological and psychosocial causes) resulting in continued or increasing repetitve involvement despite consequences and conscious efforts to discontinue the behavior. Addiction to any particular substance or behavior is seen mainly as a matter of personalhttp://images.intellitxt.com/ast/adTypes/icon1.pn g" border="0" height="10" src="image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAAoAAAAKCAYAAAH6Nf8rAAAAtklEQVQYlW3PsW3CUBSF4e9hD8AIGYGS0soiHoAU6SxRQIMiWZEQRVK4g0WYIdnAA6SgCKZJ9FIYjAk+5b3/OfdcoBJ5Ft0osRI9qu19uoAJmHrouGDdWQ/aoCz1hV9jiY0XO+xC56mux672aCL4aIcXrUSpsR+HdjA/0/P/femeCPebnt7k2MJIORBTypWib5knwZGRpgcs5JaiRqYQnExAIaQ34EnttVenOYMIZkMf9PTeGv8A1RA0C5x/7MQAAAAASUVORK5CYII=" width="10" /> vulnerability, exposure and access, and the capacity to produce a desirable shift in mental state.

This definition was originally formulated by Howard J. Shaffer, Ph.D., C.A.S.Harvard Medical Schoolhttp://images.intellitxt.com/ast/adTypes/icon1.pn g" border="0" height="10" src="image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAAoAAAAKCAYAAAH6Nf8rAAAAtklEQVQYlW3PsW3CUBSF4e9hD8AIGYGS0soiHoAU6SxRQIMiWZEQRVK4g0WYIdnAA6SgCKZJ9FIYjAk+5b3/OfdcoBJ5Ft0osRI9qu19uoAJmHrouGDdWQ/aoCz1hV9jiY0XO+xC56mux672aCL4aIcXrUSpsR+HdjA/0/P/femeCPebnt7k2MJIORBTypWib5knwZGRpgcs5JaiRqYQnExAIaQ34EnttVenOYMIZkMf9PTeGv8A1RA0C5x/7MQAAAAASUVORK5CYII=" width="10" />, Division on Addictions.

The SCM model has been applied to a broad range of behaviors including weight loss, injury prevention, overcoming alcohol, and drug problems among others.

The idea behind the SCM is that behavior change does not happen in one step. Rather, people tend to progress through different stages on their way to successful change. Also, each of us progresses through the stages at our own rate.

So expecting behavior change by simply telling someone, for example, who is still in the "pre-contemplation" stage that he or she must go to a certain number of AA meetings in a certain time period is rather naive (and perhaps counterproductive) because they are not ready to change.

Each person must decide for himself or herself when a stage is completed and when it is time to move on to the next stage. Moreover, this decision must come from the inside you (see developing an internal locus of control) -- stable, long term change cannot be externally imposed.

The stages of change are:

• Precontemplation (Not yet acknowledging that there is a problemhttp://images.intellitxt.com/ast/adTypes/icon1.pn g" border="0" height="10" src="image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAAoAAAAKCAYAAAH6Nf8rAAAAtklEQVQYlW3PsW3CUBSF4e9hD8AIGYGS0soiHoAU6SxRQIMiWZEQRVK4g0WYIdnAA6SgCKZJ9FIYjAk+5b3/OfdcoBJ5Ft0osRI9qu19uoAJmHrouGDdWQ/aoCz1hV9jiY0XO+xC56mux672aCL4aIcXrUSpsR+HdjA/0/P/femeCPebnt7k2MJIORBTypWib5knwZGRpgcs5JaiRqYQnExAIaQ34EnttVenOYMIZkMf9PTeGv8A1RA0C5x/7MQAAAAASUVORK5CYII=" width="10" /> behavior that needs to be changed)

• Contemplation (Acknowledging that there is a problem but not yet ready or sure of wanting to make a change)

• Preparation/Determination (Getting ready to change)

• Action/Willpower (Changing behavior)

• Maintenance (Maintaining the behavior change) and

• Relapse (Returning to older behaviors and abandoning the new changes)

  Stage One: Precontemplation

  In the precontemplation stage, people are not thinking seriously about changing and are not interested in any kind of help. People in this stage tend to defend their current bad habit(s) and do not feel it is a problem. They may be defensive in the face of other people's efforts to pressure them to quit.

  Are you in t he precontemplation stage? No, because the fact that you are reading this shows that you are already ready to consider that you may have a problem with one or more bad habits.

  (Of course, you may be reading this because you have a loved one who is still in the pre-contemplation stage. If this is the case, keep reading for suggestions about how you can help others progress through their stages of change)

  Stage Two: Contemplation

  In the contemplation stage people are more awarehttp://images.intellitxt.com/ast/adTypes/icon1.pn g" border="0" height="10" src="image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAAoAAAAKCAYAAAH6Nf8rAAAAtklEQVQYlW3PsW3CUBSF4e9hD8AIGYGS0soiHoAU6SxRQIMiWZEQRVK4g0WYIdnAA6SgCKZJ9FIYjAk+5b3/OfdcoBJ5Ft0osRI9qu19uoAJmHrouGDdWQ/aoCz1hV9jiY0XO+xC56mux672aCL4aIcXrUSpsR+HdjA/0/P/femeCPebnt7k2MJIORBTypWib5knwZGRpgcs5JaiRqYQnExAIaQ34EnttVenOYMIZkMf9PTeGv8A1RA0C5x/7MQAAAAASUVORK5CYII=" width="10" /> of the personal consequences of their bad habit and they spend time thinking about their problem. Although they are able to consider the possibility of changing, they tend to be ambivalent about it.

  In this stage, people are on a teeter-totter, weighing the pros and cons of quitting or modifying their behavior. Although they think about the negative aspects of their bad habit and the positives associated with giving it up (or reducing), they may doubt that the long-term benefits associated with quitting will outweigh the short-term costs.

  It might take as little as a couple weeks or as long as a lifetime to get through the contemplation stage. (In fact, some people think and think and think about giving up their bad habit and may die never having gotten beyond this stage)

  On the plus side, people are more open to receiving information about their bad habit, and more likely to actually use educational interventions and reflect on their own feelings and thoughts concerning their bad habit.

  Stage Three: Preparation/Determination

  In the preparation/determination stage, people have made a commitment to make a change. Their motivationhttp://images.intellitxt.com/ast/adTypes/icon1.pn g" border="0" height="10" src="image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAAoAAAAKCAYAAAH6Nf8rAAAAtklEQVQYlW3PsW3CUBSF4e9hD8AIGYGS0soiHoAU6SxRQIMiWZEQRVK4g0WYIdnAA6SgCKZJ9FIYjAk+5b3/OfdcoBJ5Ft0osRI9qu19uoAJmHrouGDdWQ/aoCz1hV9jiY0XO+xC56mux672aCL4aIcXrUSpsR+HdjA/0/P/femeCPebnt7k2MJIORBTypWib5knwZGRpgcs5JaiRqYQnExAIaQ34EnttVenOYMIZkMf9PTeGv8A1RA0C5x/7MQAAAAASUVORK5CYII=" width="10" /> for changing is reflected by statements such as: "I've got to do something about this - this is serious. Something has to change. What can I do?"

  This is sort of a research phase: people are now taking small steps toward cessation. They are trying to gather information (sometimes by reading things like this) about what they will need to do to change their behavior.

  Or they will call a lot of clinics, trying to find out what strategies and resources are available to help them in their attempt. Too often, people skip this stage: they try to move directly from contemplation into actionhttp://images.intellitxt.com/ast/adTypes/icon1.pn g" border="0" height="10" src="image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAAoAAAAKCAYAAAH6Nf8rAAAAtklEQVQYlW3PsW3CUBSF4e9hD8AIGYGS0soiHoAU6SxRQIMiWZEQRVK4g0WYIdnAA6SgCKZJ9FIYjAk+5b3/OfdcoBJ5Ft0osRI9qu19uoAJmHrouGDdWQ/aoCz1hV9jiY0XO+xC56mux672aCL4aIcXrUSpsR+HdjA/0/P/femeCPebnt7k2MJIORBTypWib5knwZGRpgcs5JaiRqYQnExAIaQ34EnttVenOYMIZkMf9PTeGv8A1RA0C5x/7MQAAAAASUVORK5CYII=" width="10" /> and fall flat on their faces because they haven't adequately researched or accepted what it is going to take to make this major lifestyle change.

  Stage Four: Action/Willpower

  This is the stage where people believe they have the ability to change their behavior and are actively involved in taking steps to change their bad behavior by using a variety of different techniques.

  This is the shortest of all the stages. The amount of time people spend in action varies. It generally lasts about 6 months, but it can literally be as short as one hour! This is a stage when people most depend on their own willpower. They are making overt efforts to quit or change the behavior and are at greatest risk for relapse.

  Mentally, they review their commitment to themselves and develop plans to deal with both personal and external pressures that may lead to slips. They may use short-term rewards to sustain their motivation, and analyze their behavior change efforts in a way that enhances their self-confidence. People in this stage also tend to be open to receiving help and are also likely to seek support from others (a very important element).

  Hopefully, people will then move to:

  Stage Five: Maintenance

  Maintenance involves being able to successfully avoid any temptations to return to the bad habit. The goal of the maintenance stage is to maintain the new status quo. People in this stage tend to remind themselves of how much progress they have made.

  People in maintenance constantly reformulate the rules of their lives and are acquiring new skills to deal with life and avoid relapse. They are able to anticipate the situations in which a relapse could occur and prepare coping strategies in advance.

  They remain aware that what they are striving for is personally worthwhile and meaningful. They are patient with themselves and recognize that it often takes a while to let go of old behavior patterns and practice new ones until they are second nature to them. Even though they may have thoughts of returning to their old bad habits, they resist the temptation and stay on track.

  As you progress through your own stages of change, it can be helpful to re-evaluate your progress in moving up and down through these stages.

  (Even in the course of one day, you may go through several different stages of change).

  And remember: it is normal and natural to regress, to attain one stage only to fall back to a previous stage. This is just a normal part of making changes in your behavior.

  Relapse

  Along the way to permanent cessation or stable reduction of a bad habit, most people experience relapse. In fact, it is much more common to have at least one relapse than not. Relapse is often accompanied by feelings of discouragement and seeing oneself as a failure.

  While relapse can be discouraging, the majority of people who successfully quit do not follow a straight path to a life time free of self-destructive bad habits. Rather, they cycle through the five stages several times before achieving a stable life style change. Consequently, the Stages of Change Model considers relapse to be normal.

  There is a real risk that people who relapse will experience an immediate sense of failure that can seriously undermine their self-confidence. The important thing is that if they do slip and say, have a cigarette or a drink, they shouldn't see themselves as having failed.

  Rather, they should analyze how the slip happened and use it as an opportunity to learn how to cope differently. In fact, relapses can be important opportunities for learning and becoming stronger.

  Relapsing is like falling off a horse - the best thing you can do is get right back on again. However, if you do "fall off the horse" and relapse, it is important that you do not fall back to the precontemplation or contemplation stages. Rather, restart the process again at preparation, action or even the maintenance stages.

  People who have relapsed may need to learn to anticipate high-risk situations (such as being with their family ) more effectively, control environmental cues that tempt them to engage in their bad habits (such as being around drinking buddies), and learn how to handle unexpected episodes of stress without returning to the bad habit. This gives them a stronger sense of self control and the ability to get back on track.

  In addition, there is one more stage, Dr. Kern has added which is not part of the Prochaska-DiClemente Stages of Change model:

  Transcendence

  Eventually, if you "maintain maintenance" long enough, you will reach a point where you will be able to work with your emotions and understand your own behavior and view it in a new light. This is the stage of "transcendence," a transcendence to a new life. In this stage, not only is your bad habit no longer an integral part of your lifehttp://images.intellitxt.com/ast/adTypes/icon1.pn g" border="0" height="10" src="image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAAoAAAAKCAYAAAH6Nf8rAAAAtklEQVQYlW3PsW3CUBSF4e9hD8AIGYGS0soiHoAU6SxRQIMiWZEQRVK4g0WYIdnAA6SgCKZJ9FIYjAk+5b3/OfdcoBJ5Ft0osRI9qu19uoAJmHrouGDdWQ/aoCz1hV9jiY0XO+xC56mux672aCL4aIcXrUSpsR+HdjA/0/P/femeCPebnt7k2MJIORBTypWib5knwZGRpgcs5JaiRqYQnExAIaQ34EnttVenOYMIZkMf9PTeGv8A1RA0C5x/7MQAAAAASUVORK5CYII=" width="10" /> but to return to it would seem atypical, abnormal, even weird to you.

  When you reach this point in your process of change, you will know that you have transcended the old bad habits and that you are truly becoming a new "you", who no longer needs the old behaviors to sustain yourself.

Milestones In the Coming And Past Week

mac09, pellekanin, Markb117, gingermotty, blue in the red and Better Life all hit their half century in the past week, well done troops!!

Jm24, sonic boom and boxingday1 all reach 50 days in the coming week, top stuff soldiers!!

brutus123C, Bornagain and elchipper all hit ten weeks in the past seven days, the century is in sight!!

DINO hits ten weeks on Thursday next week, congratulations pal!!

On Friday Taxi man will hit three months gamble free, awesome work mate!!

egfr celebrated three months last week, but more importantly becomes a centurion on Friday!!

I Wished smashed through 40 weeks in the past 7 days, the full year grows ever closer, well done!!

Del79 is gamble free for 18 months on Tuesday!! Wow that’s a seriously good achievement, well done mate!!

baggins who hasn’t checked in but is almost certainly still gamble free hits 50 weeks next Sunday, top stuff Joanna!!

Roll of Honour/ Days Gamble Free!

• happy days 423

• SuzyLemon 241

• Emily82 15

• blue in the red 52

• mrbrightside 427

• qprloc12 39

• triangle 332

• Better life 51

• Del79 545

• Mo 39

• Rst.Ex-CG 147

• I Wished 286

• Bornagain 70

• mjc1974 10

• mba 112

• egfr 95

• gingermotty 52

• Glads Dad 77

• delboygolf 325

• Jm24 43

• elchipper 75

• Markb117 51

• wolf57 248

• sonic boom 46

• boxingday1 45

• ICanDoThis2015 24

• spud1966 39

• Greggsboy 41

• OneMoreDayLesMis 39

• pellekanin 50

• Ringerbell 332

• New-Start 39

• Garyl1976 310

• Honk 38

• insanity 39

• Taxi man 86

• mac09 52

• Lemon25 33

• somethingsgottagive 38

• scotty 1971 35

• John64 243

• brutus123C 70

• MrStop 22

• DINO 66

• lara123 8

• Ryan18 11

• Change 9

• shep 16

• TickFollowsTock 36

• Leah1991 9

• mrdaniel1 7

• tt1980 7

• kchurch 591

• damagedone 5

Please have a look at the count and make sure its correct, I lost my spreadsheet file this week and had to start again and it’s been tough to get it back up and running, the counts should be correct, but if not please let me know.

Now for the good news our total savings for 2015 stand at a whopping…………….£114550………….what an amazing amount, well done troops!

Summing Up

It’s been a hard week with so many missing check ins, I’ve also had computer problems which have made it hard for me to keep track this week, however all is fixed now. I really hope that this week some of the missing soldiers come back. We do however end the week 54 strong and we are making this our year. Keep fighting, keep battling, this challenge is worth it and together we are making a difference!

Phil

Sorry for the spacing on the number of days list, I am on a new laptop and its not working the same my old one. I'm off to work now and will have a look at it when I get home tonight.

Sorry to hear you slipped up Pabby, theres loads of help on here for you, don't give up!

Just checking in safe and well!

I've been staying away from the forum a little as sometimes when I read it too much it triggers too many thoughts and urges around gambling!

Feel so sick, just spent about £250 online gambling 🙁 Back to day 1 tomorrow, i got far too confident and complacent, let this be a lesson to all.

Thanks for all the hard work you put in on here Phil.

Very interesting post.

Stay Strong Everyone.

Apologies for me belated check Inn been away this weekend with the Mrs and no signal 57 days for me I ain't done this long since I've been 18 I'm now 30 still getting urges but I find planning things and filling your time is the key. Hope everyone is good and keeping up the good work 🙂

Pabby wrote:

Sorry guys, i am out; i cracked last weekend (Saturday) then on Monday & Tuesday.

Need to get my head back in it, although it wasn't the usual financial disaster that happens when i gamble i obviously didn't win; we all know compulsive gamblers can't walk away. Will need to get my head down and concentrate on each day as it comes.

Dont worry Pabby,

Try again, we're all with you!

Strength for a reason.........

Matt

I've been looking forward to reading the update since reading through the whole post and finding them very intrest ing and helpful reads this one I've attually pasted onto a note so I can re read when I want the stages are incredibly helpful as the reminding your not on your own and these feelings are felt amongst lots thanks Phil, on day 7 today for me a small victory due to having gambled every single day in the last few months hard going with life stresses and the urges pulls have been hard but I'm here I'm committed today I shall not gamble
I appreciate reading the honesty of those who have slipped but had the tremendus courage to come straight back on the big battle I believe is not giving up on giving up
congrats to all the milestones well done everyone xx
oh and lest we forget must have forgotten on the check in as he has been on here this week on the poem thread x

Phil,

Thank you for the terrific update - so much useful stuff in there, my personal aim has to be:

"This is the stage of "transcendence," a transcendence to a new life. In this stage, not only is your bad habit no longer an integral part of your life but to return to it would seem atypical, abnormal, even weird to you."

Thats where I want to be - one day at a time I'll get there with this place.

Stay focused stay strong all!