Back gambling again

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 West
(@west)
Posts: 2
Topic starter
 

I stopped gambling completely for a few years and I find myself wanting to go back even though I know what it’s done to me in the past. Fortunately, I have never had an online account and don’t want to get one. I have also never got out any loans but I always lose everything I have and can never save any money. 
I went in to the bookmakers with a friend last week whilst he went to put a football bet on. I ended up going on the machines. I put hundreds in which I didn’t intend to spend.
I can feel myself getting into old habits even though I really don’t want to. When I went back the other day after winning the night before I told myself over and over I wasn’t going to go in. The next day I was sat playing again. 
Does anyone else feel like they have been in this situation and what’s the best way to go about it. 

thanks for reading

This topic was modified 2 years ago by Forum admin
 
Posted : 9th September 2022 7:54 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)
Posts: 2156
 

Hi West.

The addicted part of you ie the part of you that likes a gamble won't like what I'm going to say.

The door was wide open to gamble and it was easy or super casual for you to go in.

A gambling addict or a gambler with serious problems needs to be blocked an you need to know now that means a lifetime 

You know it's a complex illness and I know what went through your head and you didn't mean to get carried away.

Problem is you are like me and every other gambling addict....you have no control even though you talk about a gap.....I've had gaps throughout my gambling life but it never meant I was in control ....the next binge was coming any time out of the blue until I finally realised I needed SERIOUS help.

You can not dabble with this and I know part of you will think I'm OTT........it's an ALL IN recovery for you and you can't play at it...truth is you've been playing at it.....get miffed at me because I speak the truth you need to hear

Ring your dad or other non gambler and start reaching out for help or there will be a next time and you will chuck even more money away......I've given the dens the price of a nice house.....imagine all the nice things I could have bought ..hi fi etc.

I was very ill and I am a compulsive gambler in full abstention recovery.

Best wishes for a gamble free life

This post was modified 2 years ago 2 times by Joydivider
 
Posted : 10th September 2022 1:29 am
 West
(@west)
Posts: 2
Topic starter
 

@joydivider thank you for this. I understand everything you have said and I agree 100%. I felt like I was in control at the time and it wasn’t till after that I had the realisation. 
I’m here now because I realise it’s a problem and I want to stop for good. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone I know about it because I don’t want them to be ashamed of me because of how I was many years ago. I felt it would be easier talking to people online and trying to get help on my own. 
I know I should tell someone close to me but they all have a lot on there plates at the moment and I don’t want to add to that. 
I’m glad to hear you are doing well and hopefully I will be able to say the same in years down the line. 

thanks for taking time to reply

 
Posted : 10th September 2022 5:30 am
(@trixyvixy)
Posts: 1
 

Hi there. I am reading your story and feel like I am also going through exactly the same at the moment, so you are not on your own with this. I had a problem with gambling last year when I go into online gaming sites and lost so much money. I put blocks in place and had to admit to those I love what I had done which was not met with much support. I promised I would never do it again. Well here I am, I’ve slipped. I came across an app that allows you to gamble even if you are blocked on sites and it was a slippery slope from there on. It used PayPal and has maxed out my PayPal credit. I am currently trying so hard to figure a way out of this mess 🙁

 
Posted : 10th September 2022 11:47 am
Joydivider
(@joydivider)
Posts: 2156
 

As long as you realise that telling someone close is not a fraction of how deadly this addiction is.

You may be thinking its awkward embarrassing or shameful but they will come to understand that overall its an illness. You know that you never gambled with an evil laugh as you were hurting yourself more than anything

You need that reality check of what you have been doing. Naturally we hide it because we know its nothing to be proud of to put it mildly. You know what you have done makes no sense but it can be explained when you know its a compulsive illness

Don't be afraid of the words mental illness....it doesn't mean you are thumbing your lips in a straight jacket

It means your mind can control the body in a very unhealthy way and it needs corrective therapy and abstention.

Telling people gives you a reality point so you can get help and protect money.....it means they won't lend to you so it protects them also......it means they can help and offer love and support

Keeping this a secret is no good for you......yes the forum is great but telling people close is a whole other level of reality checks.

I was killing myself.....picking up the phone to my dad was hard but felt a great relief compared with my self destructive illness.

Best wishes

 
Posted : 10th September 2022 12:55 pm

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