Breaking point, limit reached. I can’t go on

Hello, 

So sorry to read all that and how you’re feeling. 

Step 1 - you’ve realised you have a problem, that’s a massive achievement, so don’t beat yourself up anymore. 

Yes the money is gone, and the debt is there, but it can be sorted out. Who is the DMP through?? I think you need to speak to them and tell them everything, the new debt, the addiction etc. Get all the debt in one place and on a new DMP? You physically cannot afford to pay £500 a month out of your wages so don’t do it - the stress of that will not do you any good. 

I’ve accumulated £30k plus in debt and although it’s horrible to read, I’ve accepted that it’s there and a DMP was the only way. It will take me YEARS to pay it all back. 

Put all the blocks in place today! 

There is so much great advice and support on here, no-one will judge, so don’t judge yourself or put yourself down. 

There is ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel. 

Stay strong, 

Claire x

Posted by: @onehundred80

I’m 22, been doing this since I was 18. Had exclusions, had periods of gamble free but I’ve always had debt. I have some debt in DMP’s, I have other debt not in the DMP’s. I’ve reached my breaking point and I’m not sure what to do anymore. Why did I do this to myself? I know the money is gone, that’s hard to accept in itself, but I can’t accept why I would do this to myself over and over again? I had a year long stretch of being paid and only having £50-£100 left over and I’m about to experience that again for even longer than a year. I’ve had so many opportunities to escape this cycle. I even got a debt consolidation loan this month and guess what I did? I didn’t consolidate anything, I made 1 payment that I should have already made and then sports bet it all away. What really makes me sad is I’ve been on and off this forum since I was 18. The problem has always been there and I did nothing to actively change it. My life is wasting away. I work in a supermarket. I feel like I’ve got nothing. This next payday, I don’t know what to do. I have a phone bill in the few hundreds, I’ll be paying £500+ towards debt each month for the next however long. I can’t motivate myself for that. I feel like I’m truly finished. I’m sorry for it being a bit of a messy and downbeat post but I don’t know where to turn. I’m lonely and I feel like I just need to read some words in response to this

Its s**t I been gambling for so long owing money for my gambling habit its with me for for few years. I have put so much pressure on myself to pay off everything i got in more financial hardship gambling. I been so low at times it something we have to live with and pick ourselves up and start again when we relapse its apart of being addicted to self harm behaviour. Stay talking to people on the chat and put things in place gamban on phone and laptop speaking to family or friends. It will get better 

@cpparch Hello, thanks for the reply. My DMP plan is in place with Pay Plan Plus. I have added the new payday loan on there. I admitted to my mum I had a problem around 2 years ago (I didn’t express how bad it was and she isn’t aware I’ve gambled for the past 2 years) and she gave me a second chance by taking out a loan in her name which I pay £168 P/m for so that can’t be added to a DMP. I also did something very stupid and probably illegal where I double barrelled my middle name and surname to create an account with a loan company and I was approved and I’ve been made aware that one cannot be added to the DMP. 
I just feel so stupid if you get me? Like, I accept the money is gone. All the winnings are lost, my wages for the past 3 years have been lost. What I can’t accept is how I was given a second chance by a family member and a third chance with a debt consolidation loan company and I blew it. And my closest friends who knew about this think I’m nearing the end when unfortunately I’m just beginning yet again which makes me upset and guilty. Thanks for the message and good luck with your recovery

@bozza This addiction makes us think that the only way out of the debt and bad affects of the addiction is to carry on feeding the addiction and chase losses. It’s just sad really, a harsh reality. I’ll try and fight it, good luck in yours too

Posted by: @onehundred80

I’m 22, been doing this since I was 18. Had exclusions, had periods of gamble free but I’ve always had debt. I have some debt in DMP’s, I have other debt not in the DMP’s. I’ve reached my breaking point and I’m not sure what to do anymore. Why did I do this to myself? I know the money is gone, that’s hard to accept in itself, but I can’t accept why I would do this to myself over and over again? I had a year long stretch of being paid and only having £50-£100 left over and I’m about to experience that again for even longer than a year. I’ve had so many opportunities to escape this cycle. I even got a debt consolidation loan this month and guess what I did? I didn’t consolidate anything, I made 1 payment that I should have already made and then sports bet it all away. What really makes me sad is I’ve been on and off this forum since I was 18. The problem has always been there and I did nothing to actively change it. My life is wasting away. I work in a supermarket. I feel like I’ve got nothing. This next payday, I don’t know what to do. I have a phone bill in the few hundreds, I’ll be paying £500+ towards debt each month for the next however long. I can’t motivate myself for that. I feel like I’m truly finished. I’m sorry for it being a bit of a messy and downbeat post but I don’t know where to turn. I’m lonely and I feel like I just need to read some words in response to this

Look at it another way - you are 22 years old with your whole life ahead of you and have managed to realise you have a gambling addiction. If i could turn the clock back to that time in my life and get a grip of the issues before they spiralled further, i would jump at it in a heartbeat. 

Get rid of the phone - you don't need an expensive model/expensive bills. Go and get a sim only deal and a cheap mobile from somewhere like CEX - that will give you some more free cash each month to put towards your bills. 

Pay the monthly payments each month - it will feel like its going to be a long hard uphill battle, but you will get there. 

Hi

So sorry to read your post, with your debts , i would put everything into your dmp apart from the loan your mum took out for you ( this can be added on a dmp as part of your outgoings, loan from family so they know you have less money left you have to be honest) , the load where you said you double barrelled your name , they credit checked you so its still in your name you need to put this in your dmp , loan companies shouldn't be lending to you while you have arrangements on your credit file , shame on them.  If i was you also i would talk to your mum about what you've done at 22 years old you need all the support you can get and maybe she can help manage organize your finances.

Having been in your situation at 22 the first thing i will say is you have a long and arduous 5 years ahead of you 

Secondly i would stop messing around with DMP's and repayment plans because it is fairly obvious you are going to be unable to stick to them go and see a proper insolvency practitioner and get them to write off as much debt as they legally can 

You agree a token monthly repayment and then you are done for 5 years no more credit no more gambling no more borrowing you are back at square one

Use this period to knuckle down and build up some savings, investments and skills 

Hello OneHundred80.

You need financial advice! Some debts can be repaid and some can not be in any sustainable way

Therefore sometimes debts have to be written off the legal way. You are allowed a significant living allowance and creditors have to accept a token payment of very little in many cases.

Your main issue is the gambling problem. Can you talk to your family or anyone close?

I've been a credit controller and I've also been bankrupt due to spending and gambling. I know that paying too much towards debt is not sustainable for longer periods

I agree with others that meeting commitments is noble but sometimes it's too deep...too much

You are not alone.....you have a future and you must get all the help to stop gambling. I understand your fears and this is about you and why you were vulnerable to gambling addiction.

When I opened up about being depressed anxious and lonely I began to see how I was craving gambling as a drug...... as an escape....it reached the point where it would calm anxiety by replacing it with a devil may care soup of drugs which included fear like I was past caring about life.

I was actually crying for help in a lonely way...hit me with the adrenaline dopamine of the spin.....make me feel good for this moment.....and on and on until I was playing to lose...... to feel cheated....to see the near miss.....to punish myself for feeling a failure........Anything but going home to my small flat

Its a very dangerous addiction. The money has gone but you have to see a future in the simple pleasures or really experience what life can offer

Gambling was never the answer to how we feel about our lot or being stuck in a rut...the answers are within you.

Keep talking and let us know who could help you self exclude and monitor your money

Best wishes to recover for a gamble free life