Well I'm on day 5 and I'm at my lowest after adding up the debt I'm in.
Me and my hubby are saving for a kitchen in our house and the amount I owe on credit cards would easily pay for a kitchen AND all the appliances required too, I'm so ashamed of myself.
Ive admitted to dh that I'm in debt and he is gutted, we've been through this twice before and both times I promised I'd never gamble again. Yet here I am. I already suffer from depression and tbh this has almost tipped me over the edge. I sat with the pills last night before calling the Samaritan hotline and blurting it all out! Didn't really feel much better but I didn't take the pills either. And although I didn't take the pills I was disappointed to actually wake up this morning (I know it sounds bad but I'm hoping you guys will understand somewhat) I just keep thinking that if I was gone at least my life insurance would pay the debt off.
I feel so low
Hi Pooky
I did try the suicide route. Everything seemed hopeless, I loathed myself. In the end, I couldn't even do that right. 😉
Before you get to that dark place again, think about how devestated your family would be if you did the deed. Given the choice between an insurance payout or having you alive and well, I think your hubby and the family would choose you.
Money does not make for a happy life. Money is NOT everything. Money is just an aid. As long as you can buy food and have a roof over your head, you can have a happy life. It is what you make out of it that matters.
Put barriers in place to help you stop gambling. Attend GA meetings and see counsellors. You can stop gambling, but you have to be willing to work at it. It won't be easy, but you can do it.
Best wishes
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