Do i enjoy pain and suffering ?

Hello  RTR2023

Welcome to the Forum where you will find the 'Hope' that you are desperately seeking.  Problem gambling is cunning, powerful and baffling and without help it is too much.

Along with the Forum, we have Advisers available 24/7 to help you through.  You can contact an Adviser by calling our HelpLine 0n 0808 8020 133 or using our LiveChat, WhatsApp or Facebook options. 

Please know that you are not alone - we are all here right behind you....

Best

Amanda

Forum Admin  

there is hope! I have gone 470 days away from gambling and that took me over 6 years to get to this point with having a lot happen along my journey.

Addiction to gambling is indeed very cunning and clever at tricking you on you're road to recovery but if you truely want recovery you need to want it and work at it too better yourself.

Go to GA meetings or check in on this site and read stories of people in much similar situations who can also provide guidance in a sense.

Youre not alone and lots of people are here to help 

Just for today I will not gamble 

Dave101

Hi

Thank you for being so honest and exposing more fo your self.

The word you use is numb which for me was an indication of emotional trauma.

Pains of the past caused fears in me that I did not understand.

In time we will understand that the addictions and obsessions were just the symptoms that I was emotionally vulnerable.

I use to want to escape people life and sitautions because |I dfelt that I could not cope emotionally.

Being angry indicated my pains my fear or my frustrations.

Every time I went gambling was a form e self abuse.

I was working hard for a moth then giving my hard earned money away and only getting pain back in return.

What would I say if my boss asked me to work for a month with out being paid.

By gambling I was not only losing money but was working for nothing and in return getting more pains.

By paying back debtors to quickly I was causing my self more stress and anxiety, which in turn would be more pain.

You say you feel stuck and I need a bit of Hope.

Today the last thuing I want to do is gamble.

If I gamble I just made thinsg much worse and more painful.

In time I would exchange my unhealthy habits in to healthy habits. 

One Saturday I told me wife that I felt very emotionally vulnerable.

She told me to egt my jacket on and we would go out.

I questioned her and he rlogic and she said just go.

We found a ten bowling alley and after that day it was a weekly healthy habit.

Instead of fearing Saturday I looked forward to it.

I honestly use to think that I would be the last person on this planet to give up all forms of Gambling.

I use to think that I was so helpless and a complete wase of time. 

The most important thing is to not gamble.

I had 5 debtors which took some time to pay back.

Even when I broke out gambling the most important thing is to go to meetings and get more opena nd honest.

To get to understand each of my emotional triggers.

My emotional triggers were pains fear frsutrations loneliness and boredom.

To hand over my finances to a person I could trust.

By atteding meetings  you will understand that you are very young being 24 Years old.

By seriously getting focused on your recovery you can save a lot of your life becoming so much healthier.

Sadly the longer you are consumed by your addictions and obsessions the harder it is to heal and find a healthy recovery. 

I use to question why people clapped me on my last bet and going to meeting.

It took so much strength to go back and admit that I had broken out gambling again.

But they clapped me for my honesty and my new found inner strength.

Recovery is not the easy option yet by getting to meetings we find a much healthier way to live our life.

Often people will say they need to Buzz.

For me the buzz was very much adrenaline rush due to my fears.

My fears were due to pains not being healed.

So by attending meetings I would give up talkin about money or gambling and talk about how I was feeling.

Exposing more about how emotionally vulnerable I was feeling.

I could not articulate my feeling and emotions I was just use to running away in my fears gambling which in turn caused more pains in me.

Therapies work because I learn about my feeling and emotions I get more honest which in turn reduces my fears and my trust grows in me.

I got to understand my unhealthy reactions to people life and sitautions.

I left school with no qualifications what so ever.

By my recovery I got to go to college and then took electronis courses and finished up being an electronics engineer.

I have met people who were living on the streets and in time found jobs, found healthy realtionships and found very healthy home life.

Being in the recovery program you find your true life rewarding potential.

JUST FOR TODAY I will not gamble.

You are correct there are no magic cures and happy days come when you make much more healthier choices with your life.

It is very important to write down your Needs and your Wants and stay focused on healthy activities..

Thanks For you taking the time to write own your emotional vulnerability.

You are much stronger for it.

Dave L

Hey im also 23 and ive lost roughly 75k lifetime and im in big debt right now. Today is day 3 for not gambling for me. Its hard but I have to take it day by day. I have been trying to keep myself occupied by working extra jobs and taking extra shifts. 

Hi

The recovery program is abaout healing our pains facing our fears and reducing our expectations of people life and situations.

There is physical pain and emotional pains.

I have suffered so much from both tpes of pains.

I at one time was so badly hurt physically that I could not feel any pain what so ever.

The doctor warned me that having so many physical was very dangerous.

The emotional pains whuich were a form of emotional trauma affected me in so many ways, it adversely affected my response times, it adversely affected my, it caused me to with draw from any kind of intimacy, it also affected my ability to learn and absorb inforatiobn and education.

One day after counselling I was in a state of healing yet my response time was even slower and my awareness was also reduced, yet after 11 days I became far sharper than ever before in my adult hood.

Being with out fear, having intimacy helps me reach new levels of awareness.

Due to emotional trauma my legs use to judder and twitch and it happned from traumas in my life.

Once we heal we gain so much more from life.

I do not attend recovery meetings today because of vulnerability towards unhealthy habits.

I do attend recovery meetings today because there is often light bulb moments that help me reach another level of healthy living.

The only limit I have in my life today is that I set up on my self.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

You definitely still have time. It is great you are coming to terms with the issues you may have. I am 34 and only just doing it after 10 years of compulsive gambling. I know exactly how you feel. I would get my wages and I would lose it all by the next day and the cycle continued. It was hell! I have not gambled for 5 months. I still have issues and debts but feel much more control of my life. I went through the gamechange treatment which is done partly online but you do have access to a therapist if you want it. My therapist saved my life so would look definitely look at getting help. It’s not easy facing up to it to all but honestly wish I had done it sooner. I can’t believe what I used to put myself through when I was gambling. The suicidal thoughts, not eating not sleeping, my life revolved around gambling. Now I enjoy the little things in life and feel much more grateful of the things I have. Please reach out and get help, you deserve it!!! 

Hi

The recovery program is about healing the hurt inner child in us. 

When in action and we are being very unhealthy we cause more trauma up on self.

The idea of the recovery program is to stop hurting ourself ferom all kinds of pains even those we cause our self to stop abusing our self emotionally an verbally and only then can we start to heal the hurt inner child.

The question I asked my self when I was walking out of the gambling establishments having caused my self considerable pains and losing time and money why did I not understand I was in pain and was filled with even more fears.

The recovery program helps me see and understand my self and understand I am not only self destructive but also traumatized.  

The recovery program helps me help me understand more about my very unhealthy reactions to people life and situations.

When my fears reduce I start to be able to do more with my life and my time in healthy ways.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

@g5q04a3jze 

It is important to fufill both your needs and your wants.

Now and gain reward your self for you efforts.

Dave L.