Grand National help

Hey

To be honest I'm perplexed by this whole thread!!

I've been engaging with bornagain a lot in my recovery and he has been an absolute rock for me in the last few months. Equally, I've read a lot of what JamesP has posted and can see why people really value his opinion and his coaching.

However, I just can't get my head around how the original post had turned into this......here's an interpretation coming in at this stage.....

1) The Aintree week is going to be tough for a lot of people on this site so why don't we use this thread as an outlet for our fears, our coping mechanisms and to support each other through it. Absolute positive intent.

2) Recognition that it's going to be tough but this is what you should do differently. Could be interpreted as advice for the group, but also in a very personal way. Absolute positive intent.

3) I feel that you have personalised this to me rather than seeing this as a beneficial tool for the group and I rather you not personalise this. I feel vulnerable at the moment because there's a risk coming my way and I want to support and be supported.

4) the world vs bornagain and others speaking on behalf of JamesP.......who has more than enough credibility on this site to respond for himself and I'm absolutely certain if he realised that bornagain was impacted by what he had said would have demonstrated his amazing humility and corresponded with bornagain to course correct......and I'm just as certain that bornagain would have come back with as equally a humble response.

5) subsequent posts.......I would ask the intent of some of them.......if they are to attack or to "hold up the mirror" or advise......then I'd ask the posters whether the intent landed without the possibility for further misinterpretation?

6) is there an output to all of this? Where is it all going to finish? I can't see any positive potential in it.......unless the focus returns to the very purpose in which the thread was started in the first place.....to support people in their recovery from gambling.

I accept that this is an open forum and at times we will disagree in approaches, in the words we use and in the support we offer.........it should never be about what can be perceived as the collective "ganging up" on an individual who is doing superbly well in his recovery and while maybe on reflection would perhaps word an original response differently, certainly doesn't deserve some of the harsh and personal posts directed at him.

We are all vulnerable or have been.

bornagain - hope you are ok and congratulations on reaching the significant milestone.

JamesP - hope you are doing well and thanks for your continued support of recovery on this site.

Anyway, Ramblings of a madman over.

If it continues.......rename the thread to "Aintree to Crimea" so that no-one comes on here thinking they'll find anything constructive 🙂

Mr Brightside

Mr Brightside, that is an excellent, intelligent, thoughful and brillantly written response. I am also very grateful and humbled by your comments, thank you.

I have to say that this thread, and the responses on it, have confused me too.

Bornagain, i'm enormously sorry if you felt I was being condescending my friend; that was certainly not my intention. You are quite right when you say that we are all equals - there is a good phrase that GA uses which says "The person who woke up first this morning is the person who has given up the longest" - it's true, we are all equal partners, fighting the same battle; that phrase helps to keep your feet on the ground.

It's great that people have helped you reach 100 days and i'm glad you are getting a lot out of being a member of this Forum. I have a lot of experience, but I would never profess to be an expert - no-one, not even the medical profession has the answers so what we say and discuss is all based on theory. I'm sorry that my take on things didn't help you in any way.

To the other posters here - I really wouldn't want anyone responding negatively to anyone, whatever that situation involves. Bornagain is perfectly entitled to his opinion and I took no offence from his comments - I was slightly taken aback but no more than that.

Well done again on your 100 days Bornagain and I sincerely hope you continue on this positive path.

JamesP

Whilst GamCare encourages freedom of speech, it is also important to recognise that we all hold different views and opinions, and it is essential that despite this, respect and consideration needs to be upheld. Many of you have shared very personal experiences of individual struggle with gambling addiction - which is sensitive in nature, so GamCare encourages individuals to think about how their post may be perceived, and it is also helpful to think about what it would feel like personally if you were addressed in this manner on a forum. In particular, many users repeating the same point to someone can come across quite negatively. It’s also worth remembering that the online medium can be very subjective, and it is hard to know how something was exactly meant. For this reason, please give leeway when commenting on others views and opinions.

It is important that all remember that the Forum is a space that fosters an environment that is supportive, encouraging and empowering to each other no matter the length of abstinence and lapses.

Best wishes,

Saffron