Grand National help

I quite agree, don't give them any money.

Hi Bornagain,

The Grand National reminds me of Wimbledon - for one week a year, everyone is suddenly a tennis expert; same principle for Aintree's big event.

It is a lottery; there is almost no chance of picking the winner - they are all capable, and they are all capable of having good and bad luck. Even the so called "professional" gamblers leave it well alone.

Change your way of thinking my friend - if a horse you like wins, then thank your lucky stars you didn't back it because it would have made you craved more, at bigger stakes; in the long run, it is extremely likely that "winning" is worse than losing. Don't fool yourself into thinking that any other scenario is even remotely likely.

Try to distance yourself from it emotionally and let people do their thing; this is part of the life you are trying to get away from, don't let it get to you - this is part of your past.

JamesP

This my next big test in giving up betting. I relapsed after 5 months during Cheltenham so know it's going to be hard also I was opposite I prefer sintered to Cheltenham as always found it easier to pick winners at aintree

I'm just trying to avoid any coverage of the racing has been working so far so hope it will work during aintree

Its going to be hard to avoid next week Ringerbell which is why I started this topic. It will be a good place for us to vent and hopefully get each other through a difficult few days.

James P thanks for the advice, I didn't find it helpful. Lots of great people have supported me on this site and its thanks to them that I am now on day 100. So I would prefer it if you didn't comment on my personal situation in future.

To be honest Bornagain, JamesP has been posting on this site every day for seven years - he gambled for twenty years before stopping five years ago and is without doubt the most experienced and well-informed person on this website. If he is taking the time to advise you, then I would treat his words like proverbial gold dust.

Maybe you don't want to look at yourself? Maybe you don't want to hold up a mirror and see the real you? JamesP is absolutely right when he says that you need to change your mentality and your outlook, otherwise you will be prone to sucuumbing to the same mistakes again.

If you don't want people to comment on your personal situation, then I would say that it is a respectfully not the website for you - this is a place where we have to open out hearts and souls and let others, like JamesP who knows far more than we ever will, tell it like it is. I am struggling to see where he has actually "commented on your personal situation"..........

Congratulations on the 100 days. Keep going. You can beat this. x

Well done Bornagain mate, brillant stuff.

Don't understand you comments about JamesP commenting on your personal situation though. I have to back up Graham C's comments about changing your way of thinking - I did, I am learning to fear winning money.

Bornagain mate, this is an open Forum about a very personal subject. You should listen to JamesP above almost anyone else here because he is a clever bloke - he must have helped thousands and thousands here over the years.

Not being negative mate; none of us want to see the evil within - you are no different. 100 days is great though, keep it up matey.

I am lost too - am I missing something in what JamesP has said to you? He is really the GAMCARE angel - I can't comprehend how many hours he puts into helping others here.

Those people who have helped you reach your hundred days must have said things along similar lines surely? I don't get it.

He helped my husband and saved my marriage because he made him take a long look at himself and analyzed the person he had degenerated into. Does this intimidate you to do so? Why should it bother you if people comment on personal things, when you have posted personal details?

100 days is good, but you need to listen to those who know a great deal more than you do and who have beaten this long-term. Being negative only makes you look worse and people will be less inclined to help you.

I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt Bornagain, so I read some of your early posts, including your first one which you posted in 2013. I am still perplexed - your poured your heart out and people responded in the same way as JamesP did. This clearly and understandably has provoked some reaction so I would suggest you explain yourself - maybe you didn't mean it in the way it came across? Your early posts make you come across as a nice guy - this seems out of character and quite disrespectful, especially when you consider what he has done and what he continues to do.

I wasn't disrespectful, I thanked James for his message but said it didn't help me. I have found a way that works for me and while all advice is welcome I don't need someone to talk down to me. James post came across as quite patronising.

I'm glad he has helped some of you. However in my opinion we are all equals on here and nobody has the right to talk down to another member. I am on day 100 but that doesn't mean my posts are anymore important or anymore helpful than someone who has just joined today.

I started this topic to help people who may struggle next week. I did a similar one during Cheltenham and two members commented on it wishing they had seen it earlier as they had slipped up. Its a shame its been derailed now.

I think you were. I think it is obvious to myself and to others here that you were quite rude and disrespectful. How on earth you can say that the way he spoke to you was condescending and patronizing? It was polite, friendly & helpful - if someone is repeating things you already know, then fair enough, but you could be grateful instead of reacting in a negative way because your negativity has provoked other negativity - people here are unbelievably grateful for what JamesP has done for them. I'm sure he would agree that we are all equals too; no-one is better, I agree, but some people do more to help others, and then there are angels like JamesP who devote hundreds and hundreds of hours to help others.

Again, I agree with the others here that your comments were quite rude and disrespectful.

You should be enormously grateful that someone has taken the time to write to you, whether you agree with them or not - you should never, ever, criticize them for taking time out of their lives to try and help you, however it comes across.

I honestly don't think this Forum is the place for you if such an innocent post provokes such a strong reaction from you, which in turn has upset other vulnerable people here.

What should matter is im here wanting to stop my gambling and wanting to help others to do the same

thanks

I am with everyone else here - Bornagain, you weren't nice, you really weren't. Where was he talking down to you exactly? You say you were not disrespectful, but you said "Please do not comment on my personal situation". You don't know JAMESP - there was nothing in what he said that could be judged to be talking down to someone. People post here for advice, and that comes in ALL SHAPES AND SIZES - you cannot pick and choose who says what and how. My son has been without a punt for three years now - JamesP spent hours and hours giving him advice on here and was solely responsible for getting him to where he is today. If people respond to you, they are doing it because they think it will HELP, whatever and however it is said.