How can I have a normal life?

Welldone mate being 1 year clean thats a great achievement, first thing first get your blocked if it online get Gamban moses for bookies sense for casino this will help has it will make it more difficult for u to gamble second step you need to confide in someone close to about the gambling just like you i managed 3 years without a bet until i had a major relapse and got myself in debt for the first time since gambling the difference now i took my recovery more seriously i learnt no matter how much time passes i will never be able to bet in a safe mannor and coming on most days is enough to keep my mind fresh that i am still a gambling addict, i am on day 654 days without a bet and i have managed to clear my debt however i feel im in much better position as am aware i can slip at anytime urgues can come and i am more prepared to ask for extra support if required having this peace of mind i feel like progress is being made and it the only chance i have to remain positive i wish their was a drug or some form of therpy to take my addiction away sadly i will live it on a postive note my life is great and 100 better then when i was gambling regardless hoe the gamblimg went i would alway end up worse off then i began and the mental trauma along with the time wasted you too can do this too, start a diary on here to help keep u in check one thing i learnt never get complacent one bet is too many and if u have an urgur come a read the threads the temptation will always be their you need to find a way to not give into those urgues and by making it difficult to gamble will make it just that bit easier

You mentioned in your post that you can't tell your family or partner, I think this could help, the bigger your support group the better, plus we can all let ourselves down, but letting others down is a whole different thing.

If its understanding and support you are worried about, they may surprise you and it is is a huge massive weight off your shoulders, no need to lie anymore when the truth is out there.

As said in the other comment 1 year is a massive achievement, and you have had a taste of life without gambling, you will get there again, but its a difficult challenge alone.

Hi,

Sorry to read all this, but you’re in the right place. 

Why do you think your life will be over if you talk to family etc? It honestly was the best thing I could have done was talk to people, the pressure that is released is truly liberating. I took out tens of thousands of pounds in my husband’s name without him knowing, but he’s still with me and supporting me. This is an illness you’re fighting, be kind to yourself. 

You must triple locks the doors, don’t leave anything to chance. Put all the blocks in place and try and talk to someone, you could even write a letter?

Tomorrow I’ll be 21 months GF. I don’t even think about it now. Still hugely in debt, but it’s being sorted through StepChange. 

Wishing you all the best, 

Claire x

My name is Tommy. I have just joined this site, I called for help last night. This is the first story I have seen and I understand exactly how you feel.

I said the same thing about not wanting to tell anyone, because of the shame I feel, about my lack of control. And I didn't want to face their hurt, or reactions to my problem.

The man I spoke with has urged me to do this very thing. And has also suggested that I tell my doctor.

I will do this. I feel so afraid, of my head telling me to gamble again, because when it does, I find it so hard not to listen to it. As you said, I may win, and cover up my last nightmare. But I never have really done this. On the odd occasion when I have. I have lied to myself again, saying was I really that bad, I can't have a gambling addiction, I only play the slots. I don't do it every day etc.

All lies to self.

I am on my knees today, I clearly see I need help. I see that I have no control of this urge. Trusts why as soon as I woke this morning, I looked on this site for someone to talk too.

I feel that if I don't stop this, I'm done.

I am in no position to offer anyone advice, but I have decided to do what has been suggested to me. So I will tell someone, I will tell my doctor.

I am so afraid of never getting on top of this, the lack of control is scary.

I am useless on the internet, I type very slowly, but I need help, so I will learn to use this stuff. I wish you well and thank you for saying what you have said.