How do we stop for good?

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CM3003
(@cm3003)
Posts: 399
Topic starter
 

Hello all, back on here for first time since May.

Im 26 and up until Nov 2015 I had my gambling under control, most i had lost in one month until then was no more than £100. Out of nowhere i lost control in Nov 2015 and that month i lost £1200. I would usually bet £5/10 and all of a sudden i was betting £100 a bet.

I went 16 months fine until April this year when it happend again, £1200 i lost in three weeks.

I paid for betfilter after my last big loss in April and didnt bet for two months until I unblocked it and gave in a few weeks ago.

Up until today i was £20 down but today ive lost £40 leaving me £60 down since i started again a few weeks back.

I dont want to lose £1000 in a month again, im on here because i had the urge to chase and being £60 down i find annoying but just need to realise that £60 over a few weeks is nothing compared to what it could be if i dont control it.

Just wondering what everyone does to help control there gambling and if anyone has any advice to try stop for good.

 
Posted : 3rd August 2017 10:14 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 6125
 

Hi CM3003,

It is obvious that you are not able to control your gambling and stay within your limits. This is a clear sign that gambling is not for you or at least it’s not for you any longer. It’s pointless trying to control it. It’s a losing battle. You do know what to do as a start, which is to block you access to gambling. Put back betfilter and this time make sure that you don’t know the password. You can either type something you won’t remember or ask someone else to do it for you.

Next, get in touch with GamCare for further advice and to set up counselling. There are no quick fixes. If you want to stop for good you will have to deal with each day at a time and work out a strategy that can help you stay away from it. Different things work for different people. It’s important that you replace gambling with another activity that you enjoy. It could be as simple as spending time with people close to you. The possibilities are endless. Counselling can help you explore what would work for you. Don’t rely on will power only as the urge will always win.

I hope you get more feedback from other users here and I hope you take the next step by contacting us.

Best wishes,

Forum Admin

 
Posted : 4th August 2017 8:24 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Can i suggest getting rid of your debit card? At least then you will not be able to play online which I feel is the most dangerous form of gambling. Natwest has an app where you can withdraw money using a code andits limited to about £100 a day.

For me gambling is very impulsive and spontaneous. I dont plan it, I just get a split second of "what if" and I end up going for it.

 
Posted : 4th August 2017 10:10 pm
CM3003
(@cm3003)
Posts: 399
Topic starter
 

Its just too easy to gamble online, I think more needs to be done to stop making it so easy for everyone to gamble, its an addiction and one that ruins lives but all you see on tv every advert break is a gambling.

I have put betfilter back on and will stick to it, when i have access to gambling its just too easy to give in and what i think will be a £10 flutter easily turns into me losing a few hundred quid, its not all about winning money its the rush of the bet which i seem to be addicted to and it can be dangerous, have read stories of people losing everything and dont want to go down that route.

 
Posted : 4th August 2017 11:17 pm
DaveUK
(@daveuk)
Posts: 504
 

Hi CM3003 - you sound very much like me ! You start low, maybe win, start to lose then chase and end up giving your winnings back plus a little more? I also note you are very precise about what you have lost which makes me think like me, you love the buzz but hate losing? You also are able to stop gambling but only after a loss?

Although I don't think you are addicted I do think you will lose quite a bit as you are quite dismissive about your losses and use the old 'it could be worse' phrase. As an idea go back to when you started regular gambling and try to add up what you have lost overall - I wouldn't be surprised if you already done this - it soon adds up.

Well done for getting betfilter on, I think there's a danger you will remove it again so also email tne sites and self exclude - it will help. In the end I had to admit that although I didn't have a huge problem, I hated losing money and couldn't resist temptation and always had another go eventually so had to take measures to put up barriers. If you do drift back (and I think you may) set your deposit limit to £5 a month as although you can change it you have to wait 24 hours which allows the urge to reduce. The suggestion re the debit card above is also very good - not just for you but for anyone who gambles online.

I may be well off the mark but hope this helps and wish you well.

Dave

 
Posted : 5th August 2017 7:48 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi CM

I'm not sure there is a stop for good.

The goal is to get GF and stay that way so taking everyday as it comes and anticipating what could lead us to relapse so we have a step or an action to take that we've already thought out so we don't go back to gambling.

I'm over 21 months gamble free and everyday I'm build on staying away from gambling

I wish you all the best on your journey.

Conradnose

check out my blog www.conradnose.com

 
Posted : 5th August 2017 1:46 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

ProblemGambler wrote:

Can i suggest getting rid of your debit card? At least then you will not be able to play online which I feel is the most dangerous form of gambling. Natwest has an app where you can withdraw money using a code andits limited to about £100 a day.

For me gambling is very impulsive and spontaneous. I dont plan it, I just get a split second of "what if" and I end up going for it.

Iv been with natwest for many years and have always asked for limits on my account but they always say that cant becasuse they cant stop me from having accsess to my own money

 
Posted : 28th August 2017 6:01 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)
Posts: 2156
 

Hi CM3003.

My take on it is that you are not in control at any level of betting. I used to delude myself to ride my losses...Oh it was only £100...its not the end of the world or I havent gambled for two weeks so I must be good and have some control...then bang out of the blue Im stood sweating in an arcade having put £500 in a slot in a few hours.

You are doing what we all did at that stage of confusion. you are looking for gaps as a sign of control and you are over mentioning the lower amounts as a balance or upside if you like.

I realised that I never had £100 to throw away never mind the thousands a year it ended up as. It was an addiction that would hit me out of the blue and it was random to a point...it would spark on stress or just a feeling that I couldnt really afford something that day....then I would put 10 times that amount into a slot. All the £30s £70s and £100s I put into the fruit machines began to seem like the good old days but I could never afford to chuck those amounts. My oh my did they add up when I thought about it properly

I was addicted since I was twelve and I have never been in control of gambling until I put the measures in place for full abstinence. Even then I realise I must never be complacent.

Ive been six months or a year without gambling in the past but I realise that I was never what I would call in control.

What you really need to do is sit down with a piece of paper and focus on your total losses. You need to talk to someone close if you can because its a deadly addiction which weedles its way in and then you end up blowing a months wages every time.

Gambling is not for you and you have seen how dangerous the addiction is. Its got new lows in store if you dont stop now

You need all the advice on how to self exclude and block this now.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

 
Posted : 1st September 2017 1:44 pm

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