I have now hit rock bottom and I am in deep trouble

 yes i remember commenting on your post last week or maybe it was the week before 

you were in a right pickle then but i remember saying at least you had some money left and if you didn't ban yourself immediately you would of lost that too ......

if only we could rewind the clock ( gamblers favourite saying ) 

if its any consolation i didnt have a great weekend either ......had a £40 bet on a Scottish football game yesterday that turned out to be worse than watching paint dry and then i had £50 on man utd to win their game which was looking great for about 15 mins before they fell to pieces 

i slammed the laptop shut in disgust after they conceded that second goal urghh typical utd bottlejobs

did manage to get some yoga in before bed and that mellowed me out a bit 

i have one long standing bet left on the champions league winner and once that is finished i am taking a very long break from sports betting it drives me up the bloody wall at times

anyway if you desperately need to get some money to cover the losses eBay is your freind 

have a look for something to sell it will help a bit 

 AND NO MORE GAMBLING 

all the best 

Just read both these comments and, being brutal, if you really want to stop gambling get all the blocks in place NOW! That's registering with Gamstop for 5 years and putting a blocker on your devices for 5 years. I have Betblocker installed and it works. You both seem to think you can beat this on your own, but what you have written says you can't so get all the help you can. Speak to Gamcare and get some counselling take each day at a time.

Sorry for the abruptness but having been there and lost the best park of £90K over the last 5 years I know the only way is to stop all the temptations to gamble. We all know deep down that we will never win back the money we have lost but keep trying until we are in despair.

I was where you are but put all the above in place and am now 68 days gamble free. It was very hard at the start but now I feel so much better. My finances are still a complete mess but I think I have come to terms with the fact I will never get back what I have lost but know it will not get any worse.

Hope this helps in some way, stay strong and think of the positives of each day not gambling

With this addiction its the rock bottom moments which stimulate or force change.

That is what is so devastating about it. Most carry on in a delusional state until the bitter end. It should be becoming clear now what an illness it is

In no way is it an income scheme and your "considered" bets are actually haphazard. All the risk is with you because the people who set the odds have a large hedge fund of mitigated risk. NOBODY is offering you life changing odds on a no brainer decision. Thats how much of an illness compulsive gambling is

The way you deal with this is a born again moment of reaching out for all the help you need. You can consider how fortunate you are to be still with us.

If you dont stop now you will be thousands in debt. You have to face reality. If gambling was the answer to your woes nobody would go to work 

You need financial advice and you need to be honest. Your partner needs to be looking after all the money and you have some serious cold turkey and recovery to do.

You have to put that money behind you...yes its gone and you have to use every thought process to appreciate what you have in life and get taking several jobs on...get yourself out there

Your mental health comes first...yes its easy for me to say but you will see the light when truly ready for this recovery

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

This is what most compulsive gamblers describe as rock bottom, I was in the same boat and understand exactly what a mess it makes of us. I had racked up loads of debt, I was a complete mess, an awful partner and parent.

I was selfish and when I went chasing my losses and would lose again it was all self pity and blaming everything else but my own actions. It did not stop me gambling though, the self destruction kept going until I ran out of road, I had no access to funds anymore and bills were going unpaid so although I thought about taking my own life, I instead just spoke to someone about my issue. I then came clean to my partner who was shocked but supportive. I started attending GA, where I met people whose stories were very similar to my own. I took their advice and put the barriers to help me battle this addiction. I registered with GamStop and self excluded from all betting shops. 

Now I am in a much better place, I realised that myself and gambling do not go together and although its not a switch you turn off, by being honest with myself and my family I am enjoying the recovery process, I have had a few bumps along the way but I am over 15 months bet free and I am so much healthier physically, mentally and emotionally as a result. 

I know right now you mind is panicking as you have lost money but you can sort that side of things out if you come clean to your partner and stop hiding and lying. That is actually the easy part to sort out believe it or not. You can do it once you commit to holding your hands up and admitting you have a problem. Look up your nearest GA meeting and start attending.

Posted by: Ravloki

I posted a week or so ago about when I lost £5500 in about 20 minutes and that I had £6000 left to my name. Well today I gambled another £5000 and I have £1000 left, I am unemployed and I have a mortgage, and I feel like jumping off a bridge. I drove to it last night and considered it. I am in deep trouble.

I always had that £5500 loss in my mind and started imagining placing very large bets on the football outcomes. First I imagined placing £5000 on both teams to score in the Man City game and it came in. I was gutted. I then almost placed the same bet on the Manchester United game, and to my disbelief that too came in.

At half time yesterday I said I can't believe this and I placed a £5000 bet on "Under 3.5" market, but I actually placed it wrongly and accidently put "over 3.5 market".

Anyway, as usual, the "Under 3.5" came in. I thought I'd won, checked my account, and saw that I had just lost £5000 again. I have been physically sick and I don't understand why if there is a god this would happen. Someone is clearly having a laugh and joke with my misfortune here.

I have £1000 left and my bills are due every 1st of each month. I just left my job 3 weeks ago and was hoping to have some sort of income while I seek work, obviously I've completely blown my life.

I dont think I will get through this. I argued at my girlfriend yesterday and took it out on her. I am an absolute moron and I deserve nothing. I can't see me getting past this. Overall I've lost £10,500 in a matter of a few weeks tops and I have nowhere to go from here.

Wow Jesus, really sorry to hear about your big loss, I really feel incredibly sorry for you, the pain you must feel right now is different level. Unfortunately the worst thing you can do it’s dwell over huge losses, the money in gone forget about it now , don’t you waste that last £1,000 on trying to win money back. As others have said you need to apply the block methods in order to help control your gambling.   This may feel like the worst time in your life, but I promise it can and will get better if your willing to change.  Losing this type of money so quick is only going to end up one way and that’s you in an early grave, so don’t let it.  Fight as hard as you can to quit,    In terms of all your standing orders coming out start of the month etc , can you contact your mortgage lender and ask for a payment holiday, with corona virus you will almost certainly be entitled to a 3 month break, this will give you some breathing space while you try and find another job. Stay strong and try not let them dark thought overtake your life. Gambling is the devil and nothing ever good comes of it.  Please stop 

Hi ravioki, please listen to what's been said, me and bladesman are a week apart in our recovery. We have followed each others recovery and it has been hard but we are now both reaping the benefits of hard work .  It's a powerful addiction and you have to break the cycle 1 everything possible blocked self excluded 2 no access to finances 3 counselling/ GA. Even with all this you still get thoughts urges then you do something different until it passes I come on here read and post. Nothing changes if nothing changes. You could get on the road to recovery but you have to take the temptations away, I can't speak for bladesman but I have finally accepted that this is going to be a lifelong recovery always going to be temptations but like alcoholics can't have that 1st drink we can't have that 1st bet. I'm not a great believer in willpower I haven't really got any so I'm going to keep the blocks on my husband has told me if I mess up again it's over I don't want to be starting over again at 54 , I know he won't tolerate it again. I won't say forgive because I know he hasn't forgiven me I haven't forgiven myself, we have both chosen to move forward. I hope you get the help you need suicide is not an option, you're not a bad person you are a person like all of us on here have succumbed to an addiction. You can get through through this 

Remember this. There is always another page in the book. Always. No money in the world can end a life book like yours. Only you can do that. Everyone here has lost money. Some more than you and some less. Panic is normal but you are not gambling for the money you are gambling for the emotion and that is something you need to work on. Depression false reality and repeat behaviour because of those emotions you are chasing. 

Decide to get over this and you will. Decide to become happy again and you will do it. The mind and body is a magnificent place and you can do anything you want to do. Just decide to and you will find every bit of help you need to make that change.

Best

C

Thank you for the comments. 

A slight improvement I have £1900 left. I counted my money today. I'm absolutely sick to the stomach. I want to die, I'm just too much of a f*****g coward to top myself.

I worked hard for that £10K. I've P****d it up the wall in a matter of weeks. I haven't told anyone and I am scared to ask for help because I feel like such an embarassment.

My house is my pride and joy, I only moved in 6 months ago and I saved up for years. I then left my job just 3 weeks ago and found myself wanting some "income stream". I then turned to a £500 roulette spin, that's now transformed into a £10,500 loss.

I have a daughter and now I can't pay child maintenance. I dont FEEL like applying for a job. I just want to rot. I don't feel like doing anything, yet if I don't do anything, I will lose my house, my beautiful girlfriend, and my life.

I seriously just want a bolt of lightning to hit me and end it. I'm too much of a coward to do it myself and I can't stand the seconds passing by with this sick feeling I have. My mind is racing everywhere.

On the 1st September I have my mortgage payment, child maintanence, gas, electriciy, council tax, all due. It totals about £900. What am I going to do? I don't have the answer. I just dont know what to do.

I have a 0% credit card for £2200, I have applied for a mortgage holiday for 3 months, and I am going to have to ask my dad for a couple of thousand to tide me over.

I was supposed to start a business venture with my friend that was going to cost us £3000 each. We've been working on this for over a year now. I now have to tell him I can't do this anymore.

I am an utter fool. 3 weeks ago I was the happiest person alive, why the f**k did I have to start this rollercoaster with a stupid roulette spin? Absolutely every result since has gone against me, EVERYTHING, and now I am deep in the hole.

I owe £3000 on credit, I have £1900 in cash, and £900 of that is due on the 1st. I don't feel like doing anything. I just want to sleep. I don't have any energy, I always feel tired. I want to die.

I would happily give someone my last bit of money to help me die. I am a f*****g disaster.

And the worst thing is, i still want to use my last bit of money to put a f*****g bet on and double up. Please help me get rid of this urge. I am a matched bettor and cannot block access to bookies as thats how i earn some money at the minute.

Please help me. Someone. I am desperate. I don't know if I will last the night. I am crying for help.

Mate without sounding nasty, the first thing you need to do is snap out of this hate towards yourself and feeling sorry yourself, this is not going to help the matter . What is done is done, its a pretty big f**k up granted, but it’s also not the end of the world. You can get past this.  If you don’t feel you can get through this by yourself, you have to speak to your parents or partner, don’t suffer alone. Talking is good. But again you can get through this .  
If you bet any more (which you will Probs lose) you are only going to feel 10 times worse.   Life is very valuable, your have a great deal to live for, your daughter needs you to pull through this . 

Dear @ravloki,

Please don't feel you are alone with this. I appreciate all the losses are painful and you are feeling a lot of remorse. However this will pass, it is important to try and focus on the your recovery and put all the blocks into place and really take the learning from this experience.

Please call us any time we are here 24/7 https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/

Alternatively you can also call the Samaritans on https://www.samaritans.org/

Please talk and share, this will pass and you can resolve this.

All the very best,

Eva

Forum Admin

You have too start looking for work, it will keep your mind occupied and away from gambling 

Hi, please contact the gamcare forum asap, you can get through this, I know you feel there is no way out but life is precious and your daughter and your family need you and would rather know what you are going through than you doing any harm to yourself.

Posted by: Forum admin

Dear @ravloki,

Please don't feel you are alone with this. I appreciate all the losses are painful and you are feeling a lot of remorse. However this will pass, it is important to try and focus on the your recovery and put all the blocks into place and really take the learning from this experience.

Please call us any time we are here 24/7 https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/

Alternatively you can also call the Samaritans on https://www.samaritans.org/

Please talk and share, this will pass and you can resolve this.

All the very best,

 

Eva

Forum Admin

Thank you Eva

Kindest regards