I need to stop, please can someone help me!

Hi ManOnAMission

Welcome to the forum and well done for reaching out for support. It sounds like this is a big step for you and really positive that you are acknowledging that you need support with your gambling. 

It sounds like you are struggling with debt issues too currently and you can find support for this at https://www.stepchange.org/ they give free financial and debt advice. They have information on what to do if you need help with money, essentials, bills and rent at https://www.stepchange.org/debt-info/emergency-funding.aspx . 

You can find a local food bank with the Trussell Trust: https://www.trusselltrust.org/get-help/emergency-food/food-vouchers/ and  https://olioex.com/ and https://freemymeal.co.uk/ are food sharing apps you may find helpful.

If you have any concerns due to loss of housing, you can find support at https://www.shelter.org.uk/

If you contact us we can advise you regarding blocking your access to gambling opportunities, protecting your finances and can potentially refer you for one to one support.

I would encourage you to contact us in the following ways via the helpline on 0808 8020 133 or via our live chat available from the website https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now /"> https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/  both of which are open seven days a week, 24 hours a day and where one of our advisers will be able to talk, for as long as you need, and look at all the support available to you. 

As well as the forum, you can also connect with other people with problem gambling issues on via our chatroom at https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/group-chatroom/

I wish you all the best going forward

Take care

Jane

Forum Admin

My heart goes out to you mate - and I don't say that too often either.

It goes without saying but I'll say it anyway - have you put the blocks and bans on to self-exclude you from gambling or are you just whinging about it and not actually doing anything to stop?  Because if you haven't put the blocks on, and I mean ALL of the blocks, you should do so immediately as this 'problem' isn't going to go away just because you want it to or because you are upset about it.  You have to help yourself too!  All blocks and self-excluding mechanisms need to be done immediately. All of them!!

Everything you have lost has gone, every single pound. Get that in your head. It isn't coming back. You aren't going to win it back. Its gone..........understand and accept that or you will keep chasing it and lose more and more......

You need to contact Gamcare and speak to them. They have shed loads of help and ideas that will help get you through this but you have to follow the previous reply and pick the phone up. Have you done it yet - ring them immediately and don't be embarrassed about it.

Forget about the money....pull your finger out and start day 1 today by contacting Gamcare and by self-excluding. Get the block on your mobile too while its free via Gamcare.

You have a lifetime ahead and in no time you will have spare cash...you will have time to go out...start meeting friend again...your debts will be cleared and you will have a life again!

Good luck mate as its not easy but boy is it better than the alternative which is a lifetime of misery.

Mick

Unfortunately your story is not unfamiliar around these parts

We get around 5 of these a day exactly the same thing , "all money gone don't know what to do , please help " 

There are some whom will offer a shoulder to cry on but from my own experiences this won't do much to aid recovery 

You need a dose of reality , and reality is one thing a gambling addiction really doesn't like !

Gambling is the most unproductive activity on earth in it costs time, money and energy as you are quickly starting to realise

Once you run out of your own resources you try to get it from elsewhere 

There's no quick way out of this , you gotta go cold turkey for 30 days to begin with to let your mind clear after that you need to aim for 90 days then you have put some distance between you and it 

Next up is 180 days and then you go for the full 360 

after one year you shouldn't really want to go back to it but you must always remain diligent 

The debt i have no solution for , you will just have to scrimp and save and pay it back bean by bean 

that is what i did and it was a great lesson 

Again none of this is what people on here want to hear when they arrive but this is the reality if you want to recover 

Hi mate. Your post has really hit home the desperation and situation I was in myself. Prior to the start of my journey to recovery I was also 25, crippled by debt and unsecured loans, an overdraft that I was drowning in and uncertainty around the longevity of my relationship with my gorgeous girlfriend.

On 05/11/21 I had got to the point where I felt like life was no longer worth living. I mustered up the courage to call GamCare and received comprehensive support on the first steps I could take to start my journey to recovery; this included a referral to ARA, Recovery for all. I immediately applied to be self-excluded via GamStop which worked a treat considering I only gambled online. In a matter of hours and days my emails stopped being bombarded by promotions from the tens of casinos I had membership with.

Around 4 days after my call, I was contacted by ARA who wanted to provide me with 1 to 1 sessions over the phone. Initially I was apprehensive and uncertain about opening up to a complete stranger, however, minutes into my first session we started to explore my addiction. It was liberating! There were many highs and lows I experienced through these sessions, with many laughs and many tears too... After my first session had finished, I felt lifted. An impartial, non-judgemental ear to hear me out.

I still find it hard to put my experience into words. And I honestly can tell you I still get the "itch". Those cravings are hard to overcome; however I am proud to say I am 14 months gambling free.

Im going to follow your journey mate. I wish you all the luck in the world.

Corey

Hi mate I know exactly how you're feeling at this moment.

Believe me or not the only way to stop gambling is to STOP counting days that you didn't gamble don't count days 1st day free of gamble,2nd day free od gamble because when you count something there's always an end to it and you will start gambling again.Its similar to for example counting how many days is there left until Christmas and then Christmas comes but,done.

Never ever count days,just do other things in time that you would gamble watch netflix,play computer games,read the book etc.Theres so many other things to do.And most important thing is stop thinking about gambling.Just take it out of your mind like gambling doesn't exist.Dont think about it.After few weeks your brain will forget about it and you become gamble free.I know what I am talking about I lost over 900 thousand pounds I last 20 years of gambling and I am on the journey to become gamble free forever 

Hope that's helps Vladimir 

@chatmoderator 

Thanks a lot for the information, I will be checking it all out for sure!

I will also contact you guys, I seriously want to get out of this mess.

@mp 

I seriously appreciate your reply mate. I have put gamstop blocks on and I've been looking for software which can stop me going on websites which are gambling related, but I haven't found anything for that yet.

I agree with you, I know life will become better if I just stop, I will stop and I'm the most determined ever to stop this horrible addiction. It is only ruining my life, I was very motivated with business and building communities myself before the gambling got out of control, I then just stopped everything and I've been depressed for a while.

I will beat it though, I will become successful one day and remember the horrible times I used to go through with this addiction and think why I even done it for so long!

@suckedin 

Thanks for the advice buddy, I totally understand where you are coming from, it's pointless I know. I believe reality has hit now; I've realised how bad it has got and I was always trying to win money, thinking I will have a lucky day one day, but that lucky day never comes, or it's very rare and by time the lucky day comes, you've already lost thousands anyway. It's a lie.

I will begin to save my wages and pay them as soon as the money hits my bank, I am in work when the money hits my bank and I have time to pay everything before I have the urge to gamble again, I need to become more disciplined. I never gamble in work, I believe this will help me a lot.

I appreciate your comment and for you to take the time out of your day to give me advice!

@coreythegrey 

Wow, that's insane, I feel the same way you did. It's a very horrible feeling to be trapped by this addiction and debts, but you've give me hope; knowing you were here and you've sorted your addiction out, I know I can do it just like you did. I've went 30 days before, but that was a very long time ago. The urges do die down, but they try and creep up on you again.

I have Gamstop and I'm looking for all the software/apps to block me from visiting or signing up to any gambling sites. I know I can do WAY better with my life, I was always motivated and ambitios with business ideas and taking action on my goals, but ever since I gambled it's just gone. I feel stuck; but I know soon I will get back to how I felt years ago. I'm too special to be doing this silly gambling, family and friends will be totally disappointed as they know themselves I'm so much better than this. I know I can become successful and live happily with a family and business in the future.

Thanks so much for the story; I can relate and it seriously has opened my eyes. I will be looking to do meetings on the phone with ATA.

Appreciate you mate and thanks for following my story and my recovery. I will be making sure I post here daily. I don't want to let myself down and everyone who has posted, I feel even more obligated to remove this from my life now you guys know about my problem!

@vladimiruk 

I totally understand you; I need to think about it as if it's gone, as if it's no longer available to me. I will try to block it out as soon as possible and now I will withdraw all my left over cash after paying my bills for food etc. I know this has helped massively in the past and I know it will work again. I need to be disciplined, I can't keep living life like it's a game; throwing away my money and thinking I will have another chance. I will be screwed if I carry on and now I'm on my mission to kill this evil addiction.

I have started to go to the gym and I'm planning my future business for the end of this year when I save up the money; I haven't even passed my driving due to me always being broke and throwing my money into the online casino. The positive is that I never ever go to the casino in person and I never have the urge too, it's always online which ruins me, when I'm sitting at home, but I need to occupy myself with other hobbies as you say.

I never watch films or series; maybe that might take up a lot of my time for the first few weeks. Then when my mind is straight I can start my business plan and save up to start my driving while also paying off my bills in the mean time.

Thanks a lot Vladimir, I appreciate your comment!

Stop looking it up yourself and ring 0808 8020 133 now!

Gamcare have been through this thousands of times and they will advise you how to get the blockers etc etc.

Strike now, quickly, while you are feeling strong and have some enthusiasm or it will quickly fade.

@manonamission hi mate i can relate to your story am fortunate i have a family and could have easily been in your situation at the height of my addiction i also worked as delivery driver night and weekend on top of working in a call centre the funny thing the money made no difference the only benefit i had i got a free evening meal so i never went hungry. Your situation really bad as you dont have any support it hard enough to be independant even with no money issues and you have demonstrated you have lived through this which is actually worse then someone unemployed, what you need to do now as other members have suggested putting all the block in place you need to take the gambling seriously, try your local GA as you will see with other people with first hand experince with same issues, take each day as it comes find other things to do to avoid the urges i am gamble free for over a month and i have been gamble free for over 2 years at my height of my addiction i was in same situation i was gambling everything getting loans out even pawning stuff which didnt belong to me, things i woulf never have thought of doing i am fortunate enough i never ended up in prison my mission i get joy from people who have been gamble free for long periods of time and still giving advice to people i also find for me listening to music helps to keep me distracted when urges are strong they will always be their so u need to be always be prepared to overcome them. Lets make stand together and say no more enough is enough?

Hi Man,

I can totally relate to your post. I have time and time again attempted to stop gambling and time and time again I have failed. I stopped for nearly 6 months I was so proud of myself and everyone on here are amazing, I felt I could vent on here and people would listen, I couldn't tell my husband or family and kept it to myself until I joined this group. 

I am now back on the road to recovery and you can to. If you ever feel the urge to gamble put the money in a pot, keep a diary, spend money on yourself, pay debts, this was the advice I received on this chat and it helped. 

Use this site as much as you can, you are not alone, promise 

Good luck 

Bluebear x 

Hi guys 

I have been gambling in the casino from since 18 years am 25 and I can't get a hold of myself I am fed up of losting all my money every single time. I feel like I lost hope in my life because it is very terrible I have huge debts to pay am also a drinker as well I have nothing to show what I have done. My life is not going good at all only thing I have is my job, I have lost close to 200000 playing I just hate myself