Just had massive relapse after being Gamble free for like a month. It was money I really could not afford to lose as i was supposed to be paying people back with it today!! So stupid of me to get my self into this position again and really the thoughts I’m having I can’t be doing this stuff anymore I seem to forget the pain and suffering it’s caused me before after a day! I’m in a really bad right now, no money and people to pay by the morning (I made them wait an extra few months then they were willing to as well and have had the money since Thursday but ofcourse as fait would have it they were unable to meet our original plana of Friday for whatever reason) I had saved up for a month to pay as well, all gone in one night trying to make more money to pay even more people. I’ve tried GA and I know it seems to help alot of people but I seem to forgive and forget the pain from roullete so so quickly, in a really dark hole right. I used to be so smart with money and was getting back to that the past month and then tonigh I just lost all control again, how can people cope with having this feeling of shame and hatred towards themself because no one else is to blame. The people close to me have been struggling with money recently and they really value £5 and don’t treat themself to things whilst I’m off playing £100 a spin on roullete. I can’t live like this
Hello Troublesome27,
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Hi There,
All you have described are the typical traites fo a compulsive gambler. You said you have tried GA, but for GA to work you have to really want to stop gambling and commit fully to the recovery program. You will need support to beat this addiction adn GA is one form of support. As you have seen your life has become unmanagable, if you come clean to everyone you owe about this it will help start the process of rehabiliation. The last thing you need now is a bail out as nothing will have really be delt with.
Its not easy tackling this addiction, I know I have had a replapse myself but I know that each day I am gamble free my life will improve and using the 12 steps program will help me change my mindset. I wish you well tackling it.
Hi Troublsome,
Sorry to hear you are still having a bad time of it.
Going to GA is always a great way to go about recovery and I would definitely recommend that you stick with it. As Joe says you need support and there is no better place to get it.
But I think, in the early days, an important part of stopping gambling is getting some blockers in place. I see you had some advice on another of your threads around what some of these are. Gamstop, exclusions from bookies and handing finances over to someone, to start with at least.
I was were you are years ago and unfortunately I didn’t stop then. Do what I didn’t do and put the effort in, do whatever is required so that you never gamble again.
Damo
Hi Troublesome27,
I am like you also and am a compulsive gambler however i am in recovery and it is only thanks to the fellowship of GA for showing me the way to enjoy the life i have today free of gambling. I am also one of the ones who "tried" GA initially and it didnt work for me. Didn't work for me because I wasn't finished, I wasn't done and I certainly hadn't hit my rock bottom. It is very hard to begin recovery until this point is reached however no one has to goto the terminal to get off the bus.
First thing you should know and this may seem controversial is that this is an progressive illness that will never be cured, you can only arrest this before you cause more pain, more suffering to yourself and everyone else around you. Anything you haven't done yet in the grip of this illness will happen eventually i can vouch for this through my own experience. If you truly have lost control over the amount of money you stake once started and when stopped forget the pain of yesterday and then restart in the belief that "it will be different this time". Then your behaviour is nothing short of insanity to continue the way you are, and you are powerless to make that decision to stop by yourself. If you suffer from this the way i did then you are doomed.
One thing i would suggest initialy and it is never easy because we are so used to the illusion of being in control, is to hand your finances over. Restrict your access to your money, certainly doesnt have to be forever. But you must resist temptation. GA and the Twelve steps saved my life... I know it can do the same for you.
I wish you well
B
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