I've messed up :-(

Hello Pinky333,

I am sorry to hear you have done this again ....I am very similar to you, but I don't appear to have an 'off switch'. If that had been me, I would have gone on and on and on .....it is sad when you have to start again, but already you want to start again which is great. You realise it is not something you can do casually and want to change it.

Try not to beat yourself up too much, you appear to have put measures in place already which is great, but don't feel in a few weeks or months you can relax these ...you must ensure until you feel you are strong enough to be able to say no when the idea pops into your head to have a little flutter, you don't have your debit card back.

Also, be conscious if you are looking to get married, by a house, have a kids, build a future etc this could impact your credit status due to the amount of times you increase overdrafts or apply for credit cards and the mortgage lenders are now a lot more vigerous with viewing your finances ....try and bear this in mind when you consider doing it again.

All the best and try and look for positives and these are - You do want to stop this ....and the longer you don't gamble, the more you will think about any future gambling dilemma's you may have - if you haven't gambled for 1 week, or 2 or 30 and on and on .....you will think I will have to go back to the drawing board and accumulate all thiese weeks again and this may deter you ...and then the urge will subside

Good luck

Thanks.

It's all just been going round and round my head all day. I'm trying not to get bogged down with depression, as that's not going to help me face this, but I'm finding it hard. The whole messy situation is really difficult to face up to. My partner hasn't returned my calls, and I'm very worried about our relationship. Is it strong enough? Am I strong enough? - relapsing makes me feel not. God, what can I do?

I'm trying to look at positives and remind myself not all is lost.

I made a mistake. Yes it was one which was very hurtful and damaging, but it was a simple mistake none the less, and they can be forgiven and sorted out.

I have the support of friends and family - which is crucial. I've taken steps toward making another binge like this impossible by putting in a block and removing my access to funding.

I've done worse in the past and made a good effort at recovery. I need to know I can do it again.

The financial implications are usually a massive difficulty, but this time I have used available funds (albeit borrowed) and I can still afford to pay bills and I have a job, a home and food. I am lucky.

But I feel lower than low.

I'm amazed at how lucky I am. My mum and partner have been incredibly supportive and understanding. Love them so much! I could never carry on and find strength to get through this without them. I'm humbled and extremely grateful x