HiÂ
Year ago I emailed then I signed up to gamstop and didn't gamble for 5 years , until one day six months back I decided too because I was stressed after someone close to me died , within a week I was 12k down and back in debt. Good news is this has been a lesson and I've not gambled since and honestly it's made me feel so bad I won't again.Â
Problem is I didnt tell my partner, I have a good job so I just took a loan to cover the debts and I've paid it since with no problemÂ
My fix rate morgage is coming to an end so I a have to tell him I'm so frightened because I've ruined our lives and I can stand to see the pain in his eyes or the shame of people knowing that I'm such a low life. I'm so scared we will lose our home. I'm having panic attacks.
I grew up in care and was badly abused, a doctor once said it was like I was held captive for my entire childhood. I try and be a normal person but deep down I'm in pain and I think this is the route of my problem but I've tried to get help with my mental health but nothing has worked, six sessions isn't enough.Â
I've been in a relationship for 25 years , my entire adult life , I move to the other end of the country to be with him and have no friends , I find it hard to make friends. I dont have any support without himÂ
I just don't understand why I would do this ,maybe I'm just damaged and evil
I don't know what to do when we either do a morgage tranfer or remortgage. I'm so scared.
Im sorry your going through this but youve took the first step in your recovery talk it through with 1 of the advisers on here good luck
Im sorry to hear this, something similar happened to and i relapsed, im currently 172 days g/f and im scared i will get tested again, am at a similar stage so i rather be tested now then few years time as it will hurt again, 99.9% people seem to relapse again again when they are tested in life i have made changes in life and using online services which i made the intention to continue on so when i do get tested i will hopefully make the right decision, once i relapse i always do damage to myself i cannot control myself, as its easiee to relapse when your most vulnerable i appreciate this postÂ
Hi,Â
Do you really feel you’d be unable to tell your partner?? If you’ve been together that long, I don’t think he’d walk away??Â
I’m only saying this as I was in a similar situation, only I took out debt in my husband’s name. He couldn’t have been more supportive even though I committed the worse thing ever!Â
Are you worried about your fixed mortgage ending because you may not be able to pay loan and higher mortgage??
From one gambling addict to another - it was the best thing I could have ever done telling my husband.Â
Take care x
Hi Becky
I feel your pain. Â Positives first:
-you managed to quit for 7 years
- you were able to repay the 12k from earnings
-you learnt a lesson and are no longer gambling
- you have a 25 year relationship
You are a strong lady; a fighter.
I have gambled 10x that amount in 5 years and draw on pension savings to fix the damage. Â I feel the same hurt and shame that you do. Â I am also afraid of the consequences of telling my partner though we are not financially tied. Â I am afraid she will just not trust me to be a responsible person to share a life with. Â I am trying to fix the damage without involving her. I too can trace my self destruct gambling to historical hurt and emotional trauma. Â You are not in this situation alone.
You can do this Becky.o
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