Checking in 219 days gf
Been snowed in since Thursday. Been a tough few days.
Had a conversation with the hubby about our local bingo club.
Used to go often with family and friends, few drinks and a meal and of cause the bingo.
My hubby asked me did I think I would be ok going with friends &family now and then as a 'social thing'. Sometimes when they all get together and go I do miss the social side. My main problem was online gambling.
My hubby said he knows someone who 'had' a gambling problem but was able to control it now and only gambled occasionally.
I sat and listened and thought to myself, I could probably convince my husband that I could go with family and everything would be fine and then I could gamble with his blessing. My way out gambling guilt free.
Parts of me felt almost excited but the rest of me felt sick.
I said to my hubby if I was an alcoholic or a drug addict would you give me your blessing to have a little now &then? Of cause he said no.
Talked it all through with him and he agreed that I could of probably convinced him that it would of been ok. Which really scares me.
Could of been so easy just to step back into hell.
Since our chat the urges are definitely bck with a kick, but I know I can cope with them, been reading my dairy from the start and other diaries. They keep me focused and strong.
Sorry to waffle on, hope everyone as had a good gf weekend xxx
** GURU CHALLENGE - Latest WEEKLY ROLLCALL! ***
It's Sunday, 3rd March 2018
Hello everyone. It’s March at last. Spring has sprung! Well. Not really. It’s been ‘cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey’, as my late grandad used to say, so we’ve got a little while to go before we can ‘warm our cockles’ (he used to say that, too).
But whatever the weather the gambling climate for us is the same. We must stop gambling, forever, day-by-day. If we gamble, we always lose because we can never keep what we win; we end up losing it then losing more. That’s why we are recovering compulsive gamblers.
We cannot rely on willpower. Our willpower is actually fantastic but tuned in the wrong direction – it searches for ways to circumnavigate the blocks we have put in place and actually finds ways to gamble! So, usually, willpower, on its own, is not enough; we can’t trust to do what we want it to do. Bravado and good intentions ‘do not put food in the mouths of babes’ (my late grandad’s final contribution today!).
So, what do you do if we know we’re weak? I’m very weak when it comes to gambling. So how have I, after years of destructive gambling, ‘somehow’ hit 200 days GF (and I have; I can look each and every one of you in the eye)? It’s down to the blocks. I’ve strangled my personal money supply so that I cannot gamble even if I wanted to. I’ve stuck with it because I know I’m weak and that this is for life. I’m not going to take my bank card out with me as a ‘reward’ for hitting this milestone because I know what will happen. Hoisting the white flag? Yep, if you want to call it that. But I’m not gambling, my bank balance is recovering and my family and friends are happier, and happy for me.
It’s not just that. I continue, like so many of us, visit Gamcare, have had blocks of counselling (twice) and do my utmost to bombard my mindset to help ‘sink in’ how devastating this condition is for us and how it’s a ‘ball and chain’, dragging us back, in a world where it’s tough enough, frankly. Why make things more difficult for ourselves?
Members of our group occasionally relapse. It saddens me because it reminds me of my many relapses and that I am always one day from the next one. My message to you is to keep putting more blocks in place to minimize the likelihood. Because one relapse, as I know to my cost, can quickly undo all the good that was achieved during the ‘dry spell’, and not just financially, too.
Keep going! Remember, life will chuck stuff at us but gambling doesn’t help us, in fact it just makes things worse. It’s the wrong kind of escapism and if we’re trying to ‘win’ to fix a financial hole, then that’s no good, either. Because, remember, if we did beat the odds and win, we will lose it all again, and then more, because that’s what we do.
You’ll never find me ‘preaching’ here; I’m with each and every one of you. I’ve been there, and I’m one day away from being there again. Let’s keep to the good fight, shoulder to shoulder. Be honest with yourself, and the group, because otherwise you’re not just kidding yourself but your loved ones too. Your loved ones want to support you. If you want to keep self-punishing yourself that that’s up to you (if you must, if you insist …) but don’t punish them, too.
Ok. Let’s see how we’re doing, team 🙂
ROLLCALL OF HONOUR
Phil72 – 750 days GF – Congratulations, Phil, on hitting the 750-day milestone. Every day hard won!
Mixer – 200 days GF – Thank you, everyone, for your kind messages.
Christer1 – 31 – STRIVER milestone passed – You’re back into the STRIVER ranks and that’s fantastic. Great to see you’re re-focused and that can only mean better things this time. Right J
Our GURUs
Phil72 – 754 days – ROCKING! This is a tough time for you, to say the least, as your wife is away, but you’re keeping up your commitment not to gamble, day by day, as you have done throughout each and every one of your hard-fought 754 days, Phil.
Degenerate – 341 – ROCKING! – This cold weather can make us a bit stir crazy; cabin fever can kick in when we’re stuck indoors. The gambling devil senses our dilemma and beckons us online… and that’s the route to disaster. I know you’ve nearly wobbled and I’m delighted the blocks you have put in place are holding. Permanently banned from certain on-line bookies – excellent. Keep building those blocks, Degen … it’s the only way!
Our ELDERs
Sars27 – 275 – ROCKING! – Haven’t heard from you for a week, Sars .. I hope you haven’t been snowed in! You’re doing great … stick with it, my friend.
Rubybaby – 219 - ROCKING! – I’ve just read your latest post and I’m on your side in this debate. Your hubby doesn’t understand, from his non-gambling perspective, that our condition is for life, we can’t be ‘cured’. Whilst he knew someone who had a problem and wasn’t gambling now, there’s more than a hint of looking through ‘rosy-eyed spectacles’ here. I would stand your ground and not go to bingo under any circumstances. It is NOT fair on you and your family; gambling will count as a relapse and the worst thing you can do right now. Show your husband this post! You are doing bloody well and your husband must understand the implications and disaster that will unfold if he encourages you to gamble again, even as a ‘reward’ for the time you’ve been gambling-free lately. Don’t gamble Ruby, and do not feel pressure to from your husband or anyone. It is not acceptable.
Mixer – 205 – ROCKING! Blocks are everything.
4D – 179 – ROCKING! – It was interesting reading a post when you won dered if addicts can recognize fellow addicts. Certainly, I had a friend years ago who was (sadly) into drugs, and could spot a dealer in the high street of an unfamiliar town at 500 paces. In the same way, yes, gamblers can spot fellow gamblers. It’s in the eyes.
Marson123 – 126 - ROCKING! – Thank you for checking in and fantastic to see your continued progress. It’s all good. Fantastic Marson!
Slotfool - 115 – ROCKING! – Thank you for your kind words and it’s good to read you have a milestone of your own to hit – debt free in around 70 days. Always adds to the resolve!
Our STRIVERS
Chartom3 (*ELDER status achieved*) – 85 – ROCKING! Life is a rollercoaster and at your posts infer, it’s about enjoying the good days and minimizing the effects of the bad. Our minds can gradually be retuned, bit by bit, and weaned off of this corrosive habit. It might be a lifetime’s work but it’s only one life – right!
NiceNormalFamily - 79 – ROCKING! – Haven’t heard from you for a couple of weeks NNF – I hope the weather’s not impacted you too much and you and your family not sitting at home like frozen ice lollies!
Godoicul – 65 – ROCKING! – As always, loving your posts. You are exactly right; there are warmer days ahead; much brighter days now that you are seriously tackling this addiction and, quite correctly, taking a day-to-day approach. Good news about your nephew, and, yes – those beer tokens will be gratefully accepted. That’s what I call good karma. Keep safe in these dangerous conditions, Godoicul.
Adam123 - 71 – ROCKING! – Your latest thread is entitled “A different 2018?” and I’m delighted you want it to be! Your previous thread was called “My future happiness” and these two things tie up. Doing great, Adam!
Ineffable – 64 – ROCKING! – You’re right, Ineffable – the snow and associated disruptions can lead us off-track and give us a possible ‘excuse’ to gamble but only if we let it. And we are not going to let it Delighted you’re well on-track!
Leeders100 – 53 – ROCKING! – I haven’t heard from you for the last couple of weeks but hope you’re GF strategy is still red-hot and not frozen like the weather! Do let us know how you’re getting on, if you can.
Christer1 – 31 – ROCKING! – Delighted you’re back striving, hitting that crucial month without gambling. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, goes the old Chinese proverb. Keep marching, Christer!
NEW & re-RESOLVED MEMBERS
Determined Dan – 14 – ROCKING! – Great to see you hit 2 weeks gambling free and you’re nice and busy on the forums too! You’re giving sage advice to others too and this can only help you, too, as you fully develop your understanding of this condition. We never stop learning!
Lea samp – 22 – ROCKING – Here’s hoping you’re keeping on the right path. Being gambling free is the only way; you realise this, that’s why you’re here. Do let us know how you’re getting on.
2018 – 18 – ROCKING – Great to see you’re hitting the ground running and starting as you mean to go on – gambling-free. A great start; let’s hitting 30 days to get you to the Striver milestone, proving you can handle a whole month gambling free!
Boxingdayfresh – 11 – re-RESOLVED – Thank you for your update and honesty, BDF. We all have a tipping point and our blocks always need to be one step ahead; I’m sure you’re working on it. But I hope you’re feeling much better health-wise now and delighted that you’ve shaking yourself down and are back in the saddle.
Stephen the Strong (previously Abstainer) (*ELDER status achieved*) – 4 - re-RESOLVED – I’m really pleased that your friend is looking after your bank card. I’d seriously consider this to be a permanent arrangement. Thank you for your typically raw, honest post describing how you’re feeling – bearing your soul and I’m so sorry to read you’re really struggling right now. We are all with you, Stephen. We’re a team. We stick together!
STATS FOR NERDS: No-one’s joined and no-one’s left or been rested this week. After a slight counting error last week, we currently have 2 GURUs, 6 ELDERs, 7 STRIVERs and 6 NEW/re-RESOLVEDs; a net total (inc. our newbie) of 20.
*** JOKE OF THE WEEK ***
I read the sad news that the bloke who invented the smoke machine passed away last week
He’ll be missed………..
Keep strong and keep smiling everyone!
Mixer
Top man Mixer. Thanks again for a great rollcall.
Congratulations on your 200 gamble-free days mate. Really pleased for you!
Have a good Sunday.
Dan
Morning Guru Challengers. Hope everyone's safe and sound.
Day 4 GF for me. I last gambled on 28th February and left myself in a financial mess. Fortunately a friend has bailed me out with a loan. The same friend is going to keep my bank card for the next year and give me money as and when required.
I went to Gamblers Anonymous on friday night and really enjoyed it. I intend going every friday.
Hopefully these changes will get me back on the road. Maybe they will be the last 2 pieces needed to complete the recovery jigsaw.
Wishing everyone success in overcoming their struggles. Let's hope we can all find what we are looking for.
Congratulations Mixer on your continued good progress.
I enjoyed the weekly rollcall which is always an excellent read. Very informative and lighthearted in a serious way.
I will not change my name again but have finally settled on Stephen the Stoic. I believe he has what it takes to lead me home.
Abstainer, Stephen the Strong and Stephen Staid were just not up to scratch and had to move on. They received a generous redundancy package and the last I heard they were soaking up the sun on the Copacabana Beach.
Checking in with 79 days gambling free. I completely forgot to check in last week. Not much to report things pretty steady and no real gambling urges. In fact I seem to be going days without thinking about a bet, so all good for now. Take care everyone!
275 GF DAYS ! Checking in ninjas 🙂 .
Huge congratulations to my man mixer and thank you for keeping the challenge alive ! You’re an inspiration my friend ! Let’s goooooooooo!
P. S had so much fun in snow with my wife and the lil man 🙂
Sars
Checking I for the week, cheers mixer and congrats, great weekly feedback you really do take the time to think of everyone on this thread and it really helps us. For the first time since December I went In a pub twice this weekend, I didn't drink and i didn't gamble but its an eye opener and its difficult don't think ill go again for a while its just not my scene anymore and puts the strain on my will power.
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Thanks Mixer and well done on 200 days - very impressive. I look forward to following in your footsteps. The advice and comments in this update are very useful and especially to those of us recently re-resolved.
Staying gamble free and on the mend now thanks very much.
Determined Dan - thank you for the kind comments; hope you enjoyed the rest of the weekend too!
Stephen - great name change, and you change it as otten as you want to mate! I liked the thoughts of the other names pensioned off and enjoying Copacabana beach, sunning themselves with cocktail in hand! Great news handing over financial control, by the way - trust me, it leads to a much sunnier outcome!
NiceNormalFamily - thanks for checkng in and glad you're keeping on the only path there is - GF Boulevard!
Sars - Heeeeeey! Great to see you're back and glad you enjoyed the snow with your good lady and lit'lun! 🙂
Adam123 - It's funny how pubs change when we take off the gambling 'blinkers'. We see who our friends really are and the whole concept changes. But point taken, Adam - the fruities continue to flash regardless and it's not worth the tempation being in there in the first place. Unless you're with people who will not, under any circumstances, let you go on it. They're what I call true friends. And, never forget, if you go on the slot, you'll be a mug punter. There's a trickster lurking in the darkness just loving it when you fill it up for him ... so steer clear 🙂
Boxingdayfresh - Thank you for your kind words. You are back in the GF driving seat and that's great to see. You've had a great GF run before; you can do it - and better it - again.
Have a great week, all!
Mixer
Very true mixer I will not be the mug punter anymore....mark my words...
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In for the week, have a good one all.
I'm afraid to join the guru challenge but I think I'll face my fears and do it anyway. Tara2 with a new starting date to grow from. I've had months up to 6 in the last years and early on I had over a year. Now it's been just a month or two and then a gambling spell. I want something different and I want it now. tara2
Checking in on day 15. Been fighting urges to gamble. Just wish there weren’t so many gambling sites out there as it’s always a temptation. I’m happy to have got through the last two weeks gamble free. I know I can never win so gambling really is pointless. I know I only play to win as the thought of playing online slots in practise mode with ‘pretend’ money holds no attraction. And by now I know I can never win by gambling I’ve proved this to myself thousands of times. Keeping sight of my debt free future which is Christmas 2020 is keeping me on track.
I never, ever pretend that being gambling free is easy. It's bloody difficult and, I can tell you here and now, if I didn't have decent blocks in play - i.e. zero access to cash - I would be gambling. I just know it! For me, it really is all about the blocks, for life. I can't 'guild the lily', personally - but we are, of course, all different.
Tara - Welcome to the Challenge; this will be different. There's no hiding place here; we are all in it together, openly, and every week we see how we're getting on. Great to have you with us - let's break this relpase cycle together!
Boxingdayfresh - You're right, we know the score; it's imprinted on our brains. We cannot win. Yet, we still have the urges, such is the baffling nature of our condition. One day at a time, grit your teeth and declare you're not going to gamble.
It's all about blocks, blocks, blocks. If you gamble, the blocks were not good enough. Desperate times do mean desperate measures; but there are rewards in the long term. Personally, my bank balanced has improved markedly; my savings have gone up £4k in six months. That's a direct result of not gambling. But do I feel happy? Strangely not. But ... my family are much more happy, and more secure. Whilst it's about me; it's not all about me.
Keep going everyone!
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