https://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/should-be-best-time-my-life-i’m-miserable
(Link to first post above) This is a follow up to a post I made yday, thank you so much for the kind comments. If I knew how to actually use a forum, I would reply to each one. The problem with the suggestions of seeing a counsellor/GA meeting is I have a really hard time trusting people. I was kicked out by my parents after opening up about my issue 2 years ago and those are the people I trusted the most in my life. I don’t want to talk too much about the situation because I’ll just become even more upset but I can promise I never stolen to feed my gambling habit, they’re just strongly against gambling, highly religious.
I gambled today, lost £50. Now have £50 in my bank, £40 in cash. I can’t gamble until 20:40pm tomorrow due to deposit limits, I have huge decisions to make that could positively impact the rest of my life. I use SkyBet and b****5. I made myself feel better this morning by literally “taking a break” or whatever it is called on 365 for a year. To be fair, 90% of my gambling is on SkyBet but it’s still a step in the right direction.
I don’t want to stop gambling, I want to stop problem gambling. Right now, I’m in a bad situation. November 2018 is the only month I’ve gone gamble free in years and the following month, December 2018, has over £1000 in losses, 50%+ of my total losses. I feel sick typing that. The problem gambling came when my overtime stopped and I felt the need to make more money, obviously this hasn’t worked. I can’t lie to you, I’ll probably gamble tomorrow, because my dumb brain still thinks I can gamble my way out of this situation. I still have to pay a £50 phone bill, not quite sure how I’m going to do that. I can sort of scrape my way through my life with the £40 cash I have but I’m not sure about this phone bill situation. Crazy how far I’ve fallen in life. I want to do something with my life but I don’t know how to change myself for the better. I feel so ungrateful too. I didn’t gamble towards the end of October and all of November, it was made so much easier I was working 5 days a week. I was proud of myself, knowing I’ll be paid over £1000, and none of it will be wasted on gambling. Now I’m being paid £500, and wasting it all on gambling.
Thanks for all your messages, they’re really nice. I’ll probably be a let down and gamble tomorrow night, but that’s just me I guess. Love to you all x
Your parents don't understand addiction. GA is a place to get support and understanding. A group of people who will support the will to stop. You can't gamble sensibly. Your focus is all about the next bet. Your focus should be on how to get well. Overtime and money are confusing you. It's the being occupied that stops the gambling. The situation will not change until you accept that you cannot gamble responsibly. Compulsive gamblers cannot stop, therefore they should not have the next bet. Gambling will not make you rich. It makes you depressed, broke, lonely. Find a meeting.
Hi,
Yes, sadly it can take years for a problem gambler to accept there is no place for gambling in their lives anymore. I went to my first GA meeting when I was 30. Although my gambling was getting out of control, I couldn't relate to the hardcore gamblers who had robbed and stolen to fund their habit. I convinced myself I wasn't actually that bad so I didn't return. Fast forward 6 years, I had just won the employee of the year at a hotel I worked at but attempted suicide shortly after because I was hooked on fruit machines and FOBTS. I survived but then ended up homeless as I couldn't pay my rent. Still I didn't want to stop the only thing in my life that I got pleasure from. I was conflicted. And many problem gamblers never stop for that reason.
After I became homeless for a second time and slept rough for 5 months I accepted there was no place anymore for gambling in my life. However, I still couldn't stop my compulsive thoughts and ended up relapsing again and again. I am a month free from gambling and pray I will never gamble again. I sought help from the problem gambling clinic in London. I hope that you will come to accept that gambling is destroying any hope of happiness in your life and seek to stop completley.
All the best.
You are like all compulsive gamblers, I was the same as you. The slots and roulette wer where things got out of hand but I convinced myself I could control it as I could not consider the thought of stopping my football and horse racing bets. I loved having a bet, studying the form listening to the pundits working out my bets, then going in and handing over my hard earned money. I could even go months without a bet during the football off season. I was convinced I had control of it, maybe I spent a bit too much but I was never in debt so not really an issue.
Then later in my thirties when I had the responsability of raising a family it all came to a head as family life was getting in the way of my gambling, and for a compulsive gambler who is in denial there is only one winner there. This is what it does to us, makes us think we are in control, gives us a little temporary escape bubble from our troubles and its its only when we analyse it honestly that we see the truth.
The golden rule of gambling is to only gamble what you can afford to lose. How often have you said you will spend X amount and then spent more? For me that was 95% of the time. If I had a football bet on and one team let me down on the Saturday I would have a knot in my stomach if I could not get another bet on the Sunday games. The reason for this was simply I am a compulsive gambler, I may stop for certain periods but the overall picture was of someone who could not stop. WHen I finally faced up to this fact then my recovery started.
Support is a key element to recovery, GA is a great place for this. Go there and be totally honest.
Sounds like me 12 months ago ... I was in a horrible state with an addiction to the online slots.
Gamstop has been a life-saver - it was scary to sign up, as I was still kidding myself that I could win my losses back, but that’s just a mugs game. I’ve not gambled since I signed up, and I don’t miss it at all. My debt in being slowly cleared, and I don’t have that horrible constant knot of worry in my stomach. You have to decide to stop, use the tools that are there, accept the money you have lost as written off, and, if possible get some counselling to support ... to understand why you were gambling in the first place.
A CG can't stop problem gambling for any length of time. If you want to stop gambling read the advice here and act on it. If you just want to stop losing it's not going to happen. Check the stats. No such thing as a poor bookie for a reason.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
