Hi, my name is Adrian, and I have a gambling problem. My gambling story began about eight years ago, and from then on, I played almost every week. I took breaks of up to two months, but then I lost all of my money. I have two jobs, but I'm still about xxx in debt. When I get out of debt, I'll start making more loans again. I used to date someone a long time ago, and we were happy together. I stopped gambling for a while, but after we broke up, I started again. I still talk to her and see her, but she makes me feel bad because she doesn't want to date me again. When I'm by myself, I'm always sad and cry my eyes out. When I'm at work, I never show anyone how sad I am. Instead, I always joke, laugh, and have fun with my co-workers. Being home alone with no one to talk to makes me start gambling. I always bet between xxx and xxx pounds, and no matter how much money I have, I always lose it all. Even if I have profit xxx I cant stop . A few weeks ago, I made about xxx but didn't cash it out because I always want more because I play high stakes. I've banned myself from everything online, including bookies.casino. I'm using my friends' names to make new accounts for them, but now most of those accounts are also blocked. I'm from Romania, but I've lived in the UK for about 6-7 years, and I spend all of my money on gambling. I worry about my future because I can't control myself. I will go again when I have saved a lot of money. How can I take charge of my own thoughts? I'm so lonely and sad that I can't even describe it. I lost all of my confidence and can't even go out with my friends for a night of fun anymore, even though it's been months.
If you guys give me advice, I'll be thrilled to see it and try to use it.
Welcome @adrian2395 to the forum
Thank you for being so open and honest and sharing your experiences here.
I'm sorry to hear you have been struggling so much, it must be difficult putting on a brave face at work whilst juggling these difficult feelings.
Please give an adviser on the helpline a ring, we are here 24/7 and we can speak through your situation, and direct you to all the help and support available.
You can reach us on 0808 8020 133, or through on our netline chat.
We are here for you, and we hope you find the forum a helpful and supportive place in the meantime.
Take care,
Phoebe
Forum Admin
Hi Adrian,
I'm glad you're in the UK where help & support is available. I hope you phone the 24 hour helpline in order to seek support & advice on self exclusion etc. May I just point out that it is not the view of most people on here the best way to deal with a CG from another country is to advise them to go back to their country of origin. This sight is about dealing with & supporting those with a gambling addiction, irrespective of colour, race, creed or religion. I find Vladimiruk's post appalling & offensive. I welcome you to Gamcare with open arms & believe I speak for the majority.
Welcome To The Forum
AL
Site my grammar is dreadful
Hi
My addiction and obsessions were just the symptoms that I was emotionally vulnerable.
The recovery program is abaout healing the hurt inner child in me.
Pains of my past caused fears in me that I did not understand.
I use to escape to gambling because of my feelings and my emotions.
By gambling it was a form of self abuse.
The simple truth I could not trust my self with money.
Once I handed over my finances to a person I could trust could I reduce the damage I was doing to myself.
My anger my rage and my depression just indicated how many emotional pains I was not healing.
At meetings with healthy therapies I would get to understand my self.
I would get to understand I was not evil bad or stupid I was just emotionally vulnerable.
Only when you love your self will you be able to love another.
Only when you respect your self will you be able to respect another.
Only when have a healthy relationship with your self will you be able to have a healthy relationship with another person.
You being honest to your self is very healthy.
You being honest indicates your fears are reducing.
Regards Dave L
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