no one cares anymore

I care! 🙂

You can start from now. Get a blocker on your computer. For the first hour, it's awful, first day, even worse, first week, hell... but it does get better. It's been 2 months for me, and I was ADDICTED. In debt, trying to win it back, owing people money, the whole lot. If you show you're changing, people can forgive you.

No point starting tomorrow, start right now. Get a blocker on your pc. You won't win the money back (trust me, i've tried!) it just gets worse.

Hi new name,

We do care about you and we are here to support you!

Is not easy at times and I can hear that you are struggling at the moment. Glad that you are posting about how you are feeling so that others can offer you support and hopefully you can feel that you are not alone and that we care about you.

Call us on the the Helpline on 0808 8020133 or on the Netline on http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline#.VTdnqyFVikp for more support and help.

Stopping a gambling problem is not easy but there's a lot of help and support for you, you can turn it around and feel a lot better. Like your name says, 'new name new start'!! You can do it!!

Fresh Start as already suggested installing a blocking software which will really help. Here are the links:

http://www.gamblock.com and http://www.betfilter.com/

If you need help managing your debt you can get free debt management advice from the National Debtline https://www.nationaldebtline.org/

Please keep posting and do get in touch on the Helpline

Warm regards

Catarina

Hi new name new start

Do your budget, work out what you can afford to pay and stick to it. To continue to put yourself under too much financial pressure helps no one. Stick to your repayment plan, and you will eventually repay the debt and your self-esteem will gradually improve.

This is a long road to recovery. If you do the right thing, you will gradually improve, the urges will lessen, and you might surprise yourself and actually get accepted as part of the family again. It took me 4 years to pay back my sister, but I stuck to it. I still owe a lot of monet to banks, but I have the family back. I'm trusted in most situations and I'm welcomed.

You have to fight for it if you want it. Don't give up.

Best wishes

Thankyou all for Ur comments I just wanted to let u know I'm still here. It's nice to know there's people that do understand and possibly even care, but my family still don't.

This is why refinancing was so important to me. I knew it would happen. It didn't stop me getting into gambling again tho did it? And the damage has been done.

It's ok making arrangements with creditors. Iv done that. But when it's people u owe money to and they simply won't wait. Wot do u do?

100 pound. But it might as well be a million for the trouble it's caused. I also owe a few hundred to someone else and they will have it when I get paid. But once again that leaves me with no bills paid, and no money for a month.

My so called "partner" insists I just commit suicide cos he isn't going to help and they r all better off without me. He's not talkin in haste it's said daily. I can't leave him when I have not a pennY. And even if I did he has promised to tell everyone at work and who doesn't kno already what I really am. So here I am. Trapped.

This is more than tough love. And if I never gamble again it will be thanks to you lot and not from "family" who's bank balance is more important than flesh and blood x

......

Ni new name new start

..."It's ok making arrangements with creditors. Iv done that. But when it's people u owe money to and they simply won't wait. Wot do u do? "....... Your budget allows so much, everyone gets a bit. You should be paying financial institutions just as little as necessary, the minimum requirement. Family, ( whether they like you now or not ), should always come first if possible. Try and pay them back what you owe as soon as you can. Friends should be next on your list.

Just keep the creditors ticking over until you get the "important" people in your life paid back. Family and friends are important, and they have every right to be angry with you if you have wronged them. Pay them back, as and when you can.

I haven't read why the $100 is so important? What happened there? Or was there more to it and this was the final straw?

Take care

How about getting some counselling with Gamcare? If you've had some, get some more. Don't forget the likes of GA. Many of them do care especially if they see you are trying.

Many a time I've felt like you new name. Start with the action.

Thanku all again.

wal1957, the 100 pound I owe to my sister she couldn't afford to wait for. I understand she's upset and rightly so but the threats I received if I didn't find it, I might as well have owed a loan shark.

They are all well aware of my gambling addiction. I have to admit iv let them down because I did promise change and actually managed for a year and a half.

Debt wise I hope it stopped before it reached the depths I was previously at. But trust wise iv blew it. I understand theyv gave up on me but noone deserves the venomous way they are dealing with it.

I pleaded weeks ago, months for my sister to take over my bank card and finances when I knew I was heading into a spiral. It was too much trouble for her it seems.

My "partner" is acting today like it's all ok and I'm over reacting. He has no idea. I'm a nervous wreck and a mess.

My sister finally agreed to wait until tomorrow when I get paid. Every other penny will go towards paying other people and iv resigned myself to having nothing at all for at least a month. That's fine as we have a roof over our head but when my "partner" actually has to feed his family and cover all the things I usually cover but can't, the abuse from him will continue.

I know I deserve to be punished but I could never treat anyone this way no matter what they have done.

So now Ill b sitting up past midnight waiting to catch my money going in b4 it's swallowed up by other people. I will have a small reprieve when she's paid back. And then I can start paying the rest.

They don't care if I don't have essential living expenses they just want paid. So I'll stay at rock bottom and prey it doesn't push my to gamble which has always been my downfall.

I do thanku all for your support. Without having this place I genuinely don't think I would be here. I'm not just dealing with the gambling but the fallout because of it and that is much worse x

Hi new name new start, you must be used to living without nothing? Most of us know how to scrape by on pennies after blowing wages the minute they hit our banks so don't let this thought drag you in deeper! Gambling is what got you into this mess, it won't get you out of it!

Only you can decide whether you win or lose & either way you have our support - no-one here wants you gone & regardless of how you have hurt them, that is unacceptable talk from 'loved ones'! Saying being @ rock bottom makes you gamble is already putting excuses out there to fail! There's only 1 right way to go from here & if you choose to gamble again, you're not @ rock bottom yet! We all want you to rise above your addiction & stick two fingers up to it so that you can prove to your family you can beat this but much more importantly, prove it to yourself! This may sound tough but you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself (you bought this on you) roll up your sleeves & show em what you're made of! You don't manage years of compulsive gambling without learning how to fight horrible emotions!

You can do this! Everyone here believes you can, just time for you to start believing - ODAAT

Odaat thank you so so much for that post. Do u know wot I agree with every word.

I did cause all this and I won't let it win. My wages have cleared already and iv sent over my debt. I wasn't even tempted to gamble it Which is a start.

Iv made a big.decision today and although it will take a while to get On my feet my main focus is to get the finances together after clearing this debt to leave him.

He has punished me daily for 3 years and didn't even let up when I did stop for a year and a half. I don't deserve to live like this and I will continue to fail unless everything changes.

I totally accept that it was me that lost his trust in the first place but the way he speaks to me and.the things he says are disgusting. He can't possibly love me.

Iv been praying for divine intervention to hit him on the head and for him to treat me like a human being but I now realise the only thing that will hit him on the head is me. Haha. (I'm joking).

Seriously Ur post means aLot and I do need a good kick up the backside.

I WILL put two fingers up to it all and I WILL get my life back

Thank you xxx

Hi new name new start,

Take each day at a time, as long as those blocks are in place and you deal with those urges each day will make you stronger.

A year ago I decided i'd had enough of losing all my hard earned money on roulette fobt's. My sister kindly lent me 300 pound to get myself out of a sticky situation and I paid her back 50 a month. Despite a little blip just befire xmas (i say little - it cost me almost 600 pounds), I had a word with myself and now Im over 100 days gamble free.

My finances are looking better, I still owe thousands but my financial plan is in place that means I should be debt free in around 15 months.

I guess im saying to you that 'right now' things are tough but time can change EVERYTHING as long as you make a change to yourself. Keep gamble free and in doing so you will have more choices in your life. Dont be focusing on how you think your family think about you. Focus on YOU as you will fail if you let everything else get to you as well as dealing with your addiction.

I wish you all the best.

Mark

Fantastic sign off to your last post, new name new start - If you believe it you will do it - if you do it, then those you've hurt will start believing in you!! A very long process, but roll your sleeves up and get on with it :-). Stay gamble free and you'll feel sooo much better quicker than you imagine, whether you're skint or not.

All the best!

Great post 🙂 I am so pleased for you 🙂

I apologise, I have not been back through all your posts but I have seen a lot of pain over the last few months & wondered if you'd ever gotten round to getting counselling? I did see that you gave Relate a shot & he was advised against bullying then but I don't see any mention of the National Domestic Violence hotline & I wanted to just make sure you know that they are out there! You can ask Dr Google but the tel is: 0808 2000247

Years ago I read that victims of domestic violence repeat patterns that 'aggravates partners' because they find it easier to deal with the 'abuse' than the not knowing when it will happen! Like us gambling...As much as it hurts, sometimes it is a relief when there is no money left because finally for as long as we are broke, we are free! You tried to make him happy in the time that you spent 'clean' but when he wasn't, you turned back to gambling as it promised you what you craved! Well, yeah, it lied but it's a blooming convincing liar, we all know that! You do too now!

You can do this just with the support of people on here but don't be afraid to reach out & take it from anywhere! I know it sounds terrifying that your secret may out but is that worse than hearing someone who should be supporting you being so hurtful? Maybe give hitting him on the head a miss 😉 & next time he says something hurtful use it to make you more determined to show him you can beat this without him!

Believe in you & make this your last Day 1! You are here because you have not given up giving up! You can do this - ODAAT

Hi new name new start

Most of us have had to endure some hard months. Noodles, soup and bread can go a long way, but they are not very healthy. 🙂

Take it on the chin, things will improve as you abstain from gambling. You will respect and like yourself eventually, that I can promise.

I heartily agree with the previous poster's comments. Good advice by one and all. Take it on-board.

Take care