Hello all. Thought it was time I come back on here & share my addiction story again. So I was gambling for 3 years or so none stop 24 hours a day 7 days a week, at work, walking the dogs whenever & where ever I could. Just before Xmas I thought enough was enough, so I banned everything with gamstop. I had done over 25 days without gambling. Been the happiest 25 days in 3 years or so. Was finally getting myself back to who I use to be before gambling took over my life. I had started meeting up with my friends for drinks & enjoying socialising rather than sat in that dark place gambling for hours on end. Then this morning I had a relapse. I stupidly put money in my partner’s bank account & then put it in her betting account . For the record she was aware of me doing this, she was not happy but let me do it anyway. Works been a bit slow at the moment as work on construction site so not been working much. So me being a stupid idiot thought hey if I could win a bit of money to cover the days off I have had then sweet. The gambling brain took over the responsible part of me. So I stick £... in, fist bet lost, second bet won, great just made £... off 2 £...bets, the normal thing would to be stop leave it alone, nope the addictive gambler in me kicked in & the disease had pulled me back in. Six hours later I managed to lose the lot. Having 25 days not doing it then bang doing that, funny thing is before I would be really upset with myself, feeling ashamed & disgusted with myself. This time tho was different, after I lost my last bet, I sat there thinking to myself, Jesus do I want to be doing this again on a daily basis? God nope, just said to myself it’s done, move on & deal with it. I seen my life before this blip gambling & my life 25 days not doing it. I know was only 25 days not doing it but was so much happier. My partner only has the accounts before as I could use them when I gambled. She has now removed them with self exclusion as I said I can’t have anymore temptations in front of me. Every addition has relapses right? Addictions take time, help & support I guess. Again funny thing is I not even upset with myself as I would of been before, I obviously apologised to my partner & then had a little word with myself, saying in my head you done 25 days, you fell over, took a knock but get back up clean yourself up & look forward again not what you just done as every tunnel has a light at the end. thanks for reading guys & would appreciate any feedback or advice.
Imagine you was on a lucky roll and hit ... life would have changed temporary maybe a month or 2 then it would taken u into deeper rabbit hole has u would have got use to betting with bigger amounts that what exactly happened to another guy who was ... and ended up - ... normal people even some gambliers think they are stupid to do this but ask yourself how are u better then anyone else, i see the same logic with alot of lottery winners ending worse situation to begin with keep your hard money and use it on other stuff, gambling can still draw u in even when money not the actual motivator if your serious to quit you have be true to yourself find other ways of making money i never seen a successful gamblier apart from few proffesional poker player this includes slot, roulette, blackjack the house always wins
Well done on two levels. Firstly 25 days was a great place to be, and you remember it as a happy time, secondly, well done on recognising what has happened and how you can get straight again. Fantastic progress, here's to the next period of being gamble free. Thanks for sharing
Yes I understand the issue is I am signed up to too many sites and the loss is spread about more than 10 different sites! I already have limits placed on each site about £... per site but then once the limit was lost, the other and the other one and the other one…. It is endless. Honestly after this I am really done with gambling. I just cannot take this madness anymore. I did not even get to enjoy my big jackpot win, all I did was distribute it to all of them and gave it all back. I am so disgusted with myself but even though it was winnings I have lost, for the last 2 weeks it’s all I can think about. What could I have done with this money? Honestly drives me mad every second of the day thinking. What a waste. A huge jackpot could have set me up really good and have amazing holidays this year and it took 3 days to lose it all. The only good thing out of this it was just winnings lost and it made me realise how deeply addicted I am. I am even more determined to face this addiction but it sickens me to the core that I could not stop playing this slot. I was thinking well I won a huge jackpot from a small bet, next thing you knew I was spinning at £... a spin… took 3 days to lose it all. I am really stupid.
This is completely normal behaviour for addicted compulsive gambler,it's a similar thing like when you put bottle of whisky on the front of a alcoholic who doesn't drink anymore.Sooner or later he will drink this bottle....to the end....gambler will gamble every penny till the end.Even if you won 50 grand today you wouldn't take it out but play till your balance would be zero so what is the point to start again?
Why don't you feel ashamed no more of losing it ?That's just how your brain works your brain process isn't the same yet as it was before when you played continuously on daily basis.This time you had break for several days so your brain didn't even process loss as it would previously that's all it is.Its has nothing to do with you saying you told yourself that this is it that you won't gamble again from now on.(Empty words)
Your brain is telling you that you're responsible person now and that you're know what you're doing so you won't blame yourself for loss
(Brain coping mechanism)
@roulettegotme you're not stupid,it takes few moments even for a veey clever person to fall down this road.
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