The Chase

Hi Dave

i just joined this site today as found out my partner had a relapse and looking a way to support myself. I have never gambled in my life so I don't know the temptation or the urge gamblers go through. I can tell you one thing, my partner is a great husband and a great father and definitely a very good human being. I am sure you are too! You have the illness and unfortunately you are your biggest enemy. But you must be very hence you are here. Surely only you can defeat this and do not let the temptation take over. Take one day at a time and get all the help possible. Asked your parents to support you, surely they would only be pleased to help. Surely you can beat this nasty illness and find your own self.

Take care

Hi Dave

Good place to start might be giving Gamcare a ring? They could offer you some counselling.

You could find some further support with groups like Gamblers Anonymous.

Take care

Thanks for the kind words Trust. I hope you and your partner gets through his relapse quickly and with good health. Ive been this situation a couple times before and this is probably my third relapse after i knew i had a serious problem. I told my parents the last two times and they helped but the last time they said that if i did it again then i would be on my own. Im ashamed and embarrased and really dont want to tell them its happned again and put them through the stress and worry all over again but i dont think i can get through this without their support and help. Not sure what to do really.

I really dont know why i do it to myself, i know its a losing game and it brings me so much pain at the end but i still go back and gamble. I must be insane.

Also, many thanks for the advise triangle ill look into your suggestions.

David

Hi,

I have a DMP with stepchange which works well for me. You provide them with how much debt there is, what your income and bills are then they distribute a fixed sum to your creditors each month. Generally all interest and fees are frozen as well.

It stops the threatening phone calls and letters.and does bring peace of mind.

It may take a few years but at least something is being done.

Give them a call.

Best wishes

Hello

i am I exactly the same situation as you Dave. I've contacted Step Change and they are helping me set up a DMP, but I still need to have the conversation with my friends and family, to tell them that I messed up again, which I'm dreading. I know it has to be done and tomorrow is the day. I've not gambled for 4 days as I literally don't have a penny to my name. I'm going to ask my parents to take control of my finances and at 31, that is such a depressing thought on how low it's got. It's the only thing I can think of to stop me wasting one more £ on gambling.

Any advice would be welcomed on how to spend my time to replace gambling. When I think of the hours I've wasted on the spinning reels, instead of doing something constructive, it makes me feel physically sick.

this is my first post on here and I hope someone sees it and can offer me advice.

Chris

Hello
I wont bore you with my detailed past but in a nut shell im a civil servant who nearly lost my job and much loved wife and kids through letting the demon that is gambling take control of me.
I see gambling as a demon who lurks in my mind, a powerful source of evil that feeds on my sorrow and my gambling. With every bet, every cash withdrawl, every sleepless night, every lie and every guilty piece of consience he grows, getting bigger and bigger, stronger and stronger.
I finally drew a line under all my gambling 7 months ago when my demon was running wild in my mind and i was on the brink of losing everything and pressing the self distruct button . I was at my lowest ebb, fragile in mind and spirit and totally at the mercy of the demon that was gambling.
My wife my children my job even my sanity meant nothing to me all i wanted was my next bet. It hurts so much now to write that my wife and children meant nothing to me they are my world and they meant nothing. I was at the mercy of my demon.
I called gamcare and started counselling, i had an initial assessment and was offered the maximum 26 sessions such was my problem - at the minute its working and life is so so good, i am back, i am happy, i am normal, i have my health back, my mind back, and my family has the old "me" back.
In the first weeks months I carried a photo in my pocket of my family and everytime i wanted to go into the bookies i turned to that photo as a source of strengh to keep the demon at bay.
7 months down the line and my demon is weak and lies slumped at the back of my mind as i have starved him of any power or strengh, but i know that should i place that next bet, should i go into that next bookmakers i will be offering him that bit of power and feeding him that bit of strengh and once more he will slowly come to his feet and rip through my heart and soul and once more rule me and my thoughts, taking my health, mind, and happiness once more and next time probably my one love - my family.
When a woman gives birth - at first she refuses to even think of having another child saying the pain was too bad, but as time passes the memory of the pain eases and the thought of having another baby slowly seems not a bad idea once more.
This is the same as gambling and losing , the pain, the guilt, and the emotion hurts for the first few days but over time the pain is less and having another bet doesnt seem too bad, as a compulsive gambler like myself i remind myself of that lonely isolated person who sat in that chair seven months ago pouring his mind out to a complete stranger and swear to myself i do not want to be that person again and i do not want to feel those thoughts ever again - because it is so, so, hard wading through the fog trying to get to the other side.
For anyone who is in those early days stuck in the fog, be strong, its hard now but every day your clean of gambling is every day your demon is slowly bending to his knees becoming weaker and weaker and you become stronger and stronger slowly becoming the person you know is inside you, a good person who is ill and who needs to get better.
Good luck