This might sound a little harsh but..

You are right many of times I have left a reply and not got a reply

Christer1,

It's just something I have noticed. I'm not trying to be overly critical but if these people really want help then they should stay active. It's not much use leaving a post because you're feeling bad if ultimately you don't actually want to stop. And i do understand that. Over the last year when things have been bad, If I was honest with myself I didn't really want to stop gambling, I just wanted to stop feeling like c**P about it.

I knew you weren't being critical it's a observation I agree with and also I like to engage with people on here myself some peoples advise has been helpful and I find if I havint looked on here to face reality I think bout gambling more

Beware the trap of excess focus on what others are doing at the expense of focusing on what you need to be doing. Although if it frustrates you that the proverbial horse is led to water but refuses to drink, spare a thought for their nearest and dearest.

Those who sincerely want recovery will do it in their own time (but not in their own way) when life has become unmanageable. But no one else can make it happen.

CW

Intersting post...and I hear what you're saying ....
I'll usually say hello and welcome newcomers...advise them to ring helpline and have a read on here..
Some stay around. ..and start there journey....others don't...
I don't let the later ones bother me....I just feel sorry for them...the boil will burst for them one day..

I think you've highlighted the difference between those who want to stop and those who want to stop losing.

Best though to keep the focus on your own recovery.

Agree there is the issue of people just wanting to be be sympathised with after losing large amounts of money rather than actually wanting to stop but I think there is also the fact that the advice given possibly is sometimes not what they want to hear.

Confess you have been been doing something really dumb/irresponsible to your loved ones, hand over control of your finances to someone else, accept you are never going to see your money back again and make time to get counselling or go to GA meetings does not really sound like a lot of fun. Hardly surprising many people decide that sounds like far too much like hard work and decide sticking their head in the sand and hope it will go away is a far easier method. Taking responsiblity for what we have done is a painful thing to do and as humans our natural inclination is to shy away from things that hurt us even if we know they are the right thing to do.

Some interesting responses, thank you all for your opinions!

I think it frustrates me perhaps because I want to see people, especially those who perhaps have only recently developed their compulsive gambling not make the same mistakes many of us have made. But I agree it's obviously a very difficult process that many of us have failed at more than once before we start making changes.

In response to those who say to focus more on my own recovery rather than the recovery of others, agreed! But for me personally, getting on these forums and engaging as much as possible with others I have found extremely helpful and I'm currently at my longest gf period in quite some time and feeling good! 🙂

As far as the sympathy goes, it's understandable that people want comfort, but I think perhaps it isn't all that helpful and people need to hear what they don't want to hear. I often wish people had been a little harder on me at first, who knows if that would have made any difference though.

Nothing will stop a cg unless they have no more access to money. Most people cg, wives, partners, parents don't like what you say. They are in denial. They find another route. Some like online, some don't. There's even some that stay here and don't listen to a word of advice. Each person has their own path and some get lost along the way. The most important part of recovery is to be true to yourself. You can't worry about those who aren't ready.

Hey merry go round, thanks for your response.

You definitely make a good point, you have to worry about yourself (believe me I do all the time!! ).
But I definitely worry about others here too and it seems other people posting here do too which I think is great! I do believe that people who engage a lot and come to places like this regularly are giving themselves a better chance at recovery though. That's just a suggestion I'd make to anyone using these forums as at least for me it's helping a great deal.

I hear you loud & clear cg-r...I have spent many hours worrying about people & many more hours formulating posts that could in fact just as well be rubber stamped.

In the early days of my recovery, doing both kept me safe from my nemesis, Mr Gamble, but also caused an uncomfortable anxiety in me. Now, I do little more than hope when I write a post, hope that the person is ready to commit to recovery & doesn’t sink to any new, invariably more painful lows.

My particular bug bear is the poster who ignores everything that anyone takes the time & effort to write to them & lays down a new thread asking the exact same questions (grrrr)...When this happens, I can’t kid myself that they’ve marched straight to the nearest 12 step group & found the right support elsewhere!

Hey ODAAT I agree with what you say. I notice you're pretty active on these forums, do you find that helps keep you on the straight and narrow?

I think as a community we are the only people who truly understand the issues that face the compulsive gambler and we ought to do everything we can to help others out as well as helping ourselves individually

Good post, in the past few years I’ve always returned to gambling once the pain of a big loss fades. This time I not only know I need to stop but I want to stop.